my bf is a perfectionist person. I can't smoke, can no longer join my friends 2 d club, stop drinking, change d way i look, lose weights ASAP!! Despite all these presure, i love him n believe that he's going 2 change me 4 better. but will i ever good enough 4 him???
2006-08-02 23:22:25 · 20 answers · asked by ite 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You will never be good enough for him because he's abusive. You have to be good enough for you.
2006-08-02 23:27:21 · answer #1 · answered by Kanga_tush2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ite,you gotta be positive,you will always be good enough for him.the reason why he doesnt want you to smoke is simply because he dont want you to harm your health,and his too.I know,smoking is hard to quit,but if he is a perfectionist as you say he is,he wouldnt love you in the first place,because a perfectionist wouldnt wan a smoker for a girlfriend
you say you cant join your friends to the club.what club are you talking about? is it like a disco club? if so,I guess he doesnt want you to go because hes afraid that someone there might take advantage of you or something,or maybe because he's lonely when you spend your time with your friends.can be a lot of reasons
and stop drinking? like what,alcohol? yes,alcohol is as harmful as smoking,even worse when you mix them together.like I said,he dont want you to be harming yourself,he's actually taking care of you,if you look at another point of view.
as for changing the way you look and losing weight,I think he would be too perfect at this stage to call you to do that because,when it comes to love,looks dont matter.beauty is in the eye of the beholder.if he loves you,he will look at what you have underneath your skin,not just on the surface itself.
in such situations like this,I think that there are some things that you can change to be better for your bf,but at the same time,he has to do the same to you,that is to change too.if both of you love each other,both of you have to change for the better.I'm sure he is not at all that perfect,I mean there are somethings that you dont like about him too right?
so,my advice would be,try to change some things that you can,like smoking ( it IS bad for you).as for those you cant,he'll just have to get used to it wont he lol,after all,if he loves you he wont be the one making you feel that you're not good enough for him,he should be the one feeling that he's not good enough for you.that is how I love my girlfriend =)
2006-08-02 23:42:20 · answer #2 · answered by sylvestercheese 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he loved you he wouldn't want to change you at all. He sounds like a possessive controllling person. Never think you are not good enough for any one as no one in this world is perfect. We are all unique and all have our own inner beauty, that only some can see the ones that see that are ones that truly love you.You are going to become what he wants not what you really are. You are your own person speak up if your happy the way you are don't change.
2006-08-02 23:29:34 · answer #3 · answered by a mother 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are doing all these things for him and not for yourself -I mean you started to do so because he asked you so- you have a problem. I'm sure YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR WHAT I'M GOING TO TELL YOU, but somebody has to do so. Men like yours end dumping their girls because they don't have enough personality to think for themselves, to act on their own, to have their opinions. My cousin was like you and ended dumped after a long relationship in which he decided her hair colour and dressing. Men need women that bring a big challenge for them, not the other way around. So, the answer to your question is NO, YOU WOULD NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM. Not because you are not good, just because he is putting you down all the time, even though you think that you are improving. YOU ARE THE PUPPET OF YOUR BF, that's all. Open your eyes and love yourself
2006-08-02 23:33:35 · answer #4 · answered by Sissy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really love him or do you WANT to love him?
It's not that you aren't good enough for him. It's that he is too controlling to let you be yourself.
You should never have to change your whole personality in a relationship to better suit your partner.
If he can't let you be you, dump him. No guy should ever criticize you to the point like that. It's not healthy and you should tell him!
2006-08-02 23:27:38 · answer #5 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I dont like someone changing me... as in my personality. Look he met you that way, then he still courted you. That means your good enough for him. Maybe its the other way around... Is your BF good enough for you? If I were you I wont change just to please anyone for that matter. Express yourself, be true to yourself and to others. Change if you feel like it. Anyway it wont work if you change just for the sake of your BF. I've been there.
2006-08-02 23:47:12 · answer #6 · answered by Dennis D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he is trying to control you and the way you are and look. Do you really think it is worth all the trouble? At the end of the day you are going to be unhappy and you'll be living a lie since you can't be yourself",)
2006-08-02 23:27:24 · answer #7 · answered by angel 2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i completely comprehend the way you sense.i've got been by using it in the previous and sometime i in simple terms found out that having a boyfriend might super and all,in spite of the shown fact that it quite is not the main extreme subject on your existence.the properly suited guy is there,in spite of the shown fact that it quite is not the place you assume him to be.you basically gotta wait and see and stay existence to the fullest.additionally some human beings in this international are jackasses and as such,you may desire to pay no interest to.
2016-12-11 05:50:59 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did he or did he not fall for you just the way you were? You need to grow yourself a back bone! I'm sorry to be so harsh, but you really need to be yourself. Not what someone else wants you to be. Your not him your you so be you for good or bad. You can be only who you are. No more or no less than that. I once changed my everything for a girl. Every time I changed something to please her. She just found something else to change about me. I lived like that for 7 years. It was a very very unhappy life. If you want to change yourself. Don't do it for him do it for YOURSELF!!!!!!!!
2006-08-02 23:37:58 · answer #9 · answered by numbr1slotman1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well no one has the right to change a person, this boy friend of yrs has changed u into something u not ,so my answer is u not good enuogh for him,his action shows that he don't deserves u.
2006-08-02 23:32:02 · answer #10 · answered by naghtynite 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your life and the way you want to live is your problem.
Doesn't matter how much you love him, don't leave your friends for him. What happens if he dumps you or you dump him? Who's shoulders are you going to cry on then?
Be who you want to be, not what he wants you to become to be perfect for him.
2006-08-02 23:33:32 · answer #11 · answered by natasha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋