Funniest joke?

Question

what is the funniest joke

Answer 1

i guess u have the funniest of qstns!!

Answer 2

Government

Answer 3

man walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog, picks up the dog and swings him over his head in a cirlce. the dog barks and the man sets it down on the floor. the bar tender says i bet you think I am going to ask you what you were doing that for don't you. well I'm not because i asked you last week and you said oh just looking around.
the blind guy said oh well tonight we are just gathering evidence for the cops who are raiding the place right about NOW! It is a shame you didn't ask me what we wereup to tonight cause I would have warned you about the raid. good luck and hope you make bail.

Answer 4

A gay guy walks into a bar in the old west and ask the bartender, "Bartender, can i have a beer" and the bartender says,"sorry boy we don't serve your kind here" and the gay guy says, Please bartender I'm really thirsty" and the bartender say, "O.K., but you have to sit in that corner and you can't talk to anyone", so the gay guy goes to the dark corner and drinks his beer.

About an hour later a big huge cowboy comes in and says to the bartender, "Bartender get me a beer, I'm So thirsty i could let a cow lick the sweat of my balls", and from the corner you here, "Moo, moo buckaroo"

P.S. this is not gay bashing its a funny joke

Answer 5

I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. I thought the tall guy was going to have to stagger out the door he was laughing so hard.

Answer 6

Jokes are what every you personally think is funny, My sense of humour is different from my wife's ....so the funnesit joke is the one that makes you laugh the most

Answer 7

A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket, and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, "Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."

The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.

Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here."

"Where are you from, son?"

"Texas, sir," the boy replied.

"Well, why did you leave Texas?" the manager asked.

The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and football players down there."

"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Texas."

"No ****???" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?"

Answer 8

Joke itself.

Answer 9

this is to the person who is making fun of both Israel and the United States, go back to a Communist state. If you don't like the evil realities of the world go to a place where they tell you what to think.

Answer 10

A Christian, a Jew, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

Answer 11

Funniest joke is Israel is killing innocent Lebanese people and America is still defending this f*cken nation.