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Question

I was raised Catholic and so was my husband but recently we have had a change of heart. We tried several different churches and our girls love the "Friends Church, Evangelist" and they go all the time. They are teens and enjoy having a choice in religion. But we just can't get into it. The who situation seems so confusing that we just have not gone to church. In the meantime part of me does not want to have a relationship with Christ and I don't know why and part of me does. We have three girls and I am pregnant with another child. I want to bring this child up in a Christian home, but I am having a hard time. All of the reasons that I want a relationship with Christ seem selfish. I want a piece of heaven, I want to see my father again and I don't want to go to hell. How to I change my perspective and build a relationship with Christ for all the right reasons?

Answer 1

Hey there. I sent you an email. Hope to hear from you soon!

Answer 2

I mean no disrespect to your children but teens especially go to church (now days anyway) for socialization and fun. Most of these churches will have rock concerts (exept they have christ in the songs). If the churchs name is "friends church, Evangelist" it's probably not centered too much on christ. If it was it would have Jesus christs name in the title. But it's title reflects what it is about, sociality, fun. I suspect that is why you cannot get into it, less doctrine. And evangelists churches are definetly different from cathics.

Who doesn't want to go to heaven, see their parents? These are not selfish reasons, but just going to church will not raise children christlike. Just going to church will not get you or anyone else to heaven. You must DO as christ has asked and commanded, as we begin to act like him our spirits will be at peace. The churches reason for existence is to guide us and support us in the right way.

My church may help you (I am no pastor, just a member) it doesn't matter where you live, we have churches there. And missionaries and members who would be glad to help and guide you. The church also has incredible programs for the youth. They are the most important, and in this time where there is so much evil they must have much guidance. Your girls will probably like young womens if you want to look into it.

If you are interested you can contact me and I will find out where the church is located, do what I can. The members can show you the church and the youth programs and answer any questions you may have.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I thought that was the whole reason people actually went to church in the first place? to get to heaven, not go to hell, and to be reunited with loved ones who have passed.

Why else? because you don't have to be a christian to be a good, moral, loving person, and have a good life.

Maybe you should question what the 'right reasons' really are and whether you actually believe them.

Actually, I don't think you're selfish for wanting to stay out of hell, and go to heaven, and see your father again. That is a normal reaction and feeling. Sorry to hear about your father passing away, also. I can't imagine why anyone would think that was a selfish thing to want.

But maybe you should also think about the fact that maybe there is no such thing as heaven or hell, and appreciate the life you have now.

Answer 4

Okay....well you say the only reason why you want a relationship with Christ is because you want a piece of heaven. So you must know that the only way to make it to heaven is to have a real relationship with Jesus. And you know that heaven and hell is real. I think if you learned a little more about Jesus you would want a relationship with him. Ask your girls why they love the church so much. Ask them why they love Christ so much. And ask God to reveal to you what is holding you back. He will show you. I know you were raised catholic but why the change of heart? With reading your question you said you want to raise your new child in a christian home. So you must know the benefits of it. Try christianwomentoday.com, there are so many inspirational stories. Jesus is real and although you are having a difficult time finding where you want to be, the more you go to church, read the word, and surround yourself with christians the more you will have a change of heart and realize Jesus loves you and he's not gonna bite. It may seem like a long way away or that it may take a miracle, but he can change the way you feel. Just get on your knees and pray he will give you the answers as long as you seek him with your whole heart. Right now you want to seek him for selfish reasons but he can change that believe me. I originally was the same way but I realized how selfish I was and how much he's helped me and began to seek him because of who he is. Of course we all have our own reasons as to why we come to him usually they are (originaly) for self lol. But that will change eventualy as you grow in him. Honestly it sounds like God is working on you already if you asked this question. It seems your looking for more. It's in our human nature. Believe me your making the right choice. Try it, put your whole heart in it, trust him. If you don't like it, give it up, but I don't think that will happen. :) Best of luck.

Answer 5

You remind me of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, wandering all over the place, when you had the power to achieve exactly what you wanted, all along.

I'm betting you haven't been to confession in over 5 years, and that you don't really believe that Jesus is trulty present in the holy Eucharist.

I'm betting you don't attend Mass every Sunday, because it seems boring.

I'm betting that no one ever made sure you learned the fine points of the Catholic faith, either.

If I'm right on just one of these, it's no wonder you're confused.

You can shop around and find something different, but you'll never find a faith that is more complete or more in line with the mind of God than Catholicism.

That goes double for your children.

But the Catholic faith must be practiced in order to make it a real force in your life ... and that requires both knowledge and faith.

There's help available if you want it. Just drop me an email with an address and I'll send you some very useful stuff, for free.

What you make of it is up to you.

God bless you and yours.

Answer 6

OK, not what many people would call a true christian anymore, but I hope to help and not to criticize. I was where you are at one point. What is it that is not right. I was trying to find the right way to be for myself and my kids. Instead of being a religious person, why don't you just be a spiritual person? This will give you the openness with yourself that you want so the you can praise who you want how you want. Believe in God or Christ your own way. don't let the restraints of a religion hold you back in your spiritual progress. your family can still practice spiritual beliefs together like prayer or meditation. Please do not believe that there is heaven or hell (no offense), but why would God make something so set and defined, we go one way or another, heaven or hell. Look at the beauty and diversity of this beautiful earth and the people on it. God is not as simple as heaven or hell. Best wishes in your spiritual search.

blessed be.

Answer 7

Wanting a piece of heaven, wanting to see your father again, and not wanting to go to hell are not bad reasons for wanting a relationship with Christ, but perhaps you might consider that in accepting Christ as your saviour that you are accepting God's love. It's the kind of love you choose to have, not merely some emotional sensation.

The evangelical churches tend to appeal to people that worship in way based strongly on the emotions of joy of the relationship with God. Some of the older, more formal and traditional churches offer more intellectual perspectives on worship, with a heavier emphasis on theology. As far as churches other than Roman Catholic, why not try Anglican/Episcopalian Church? Has much of the rituals and all of the sacraments of the Catholic Church, but with a Protestant perspective.

A good church allows worshippers to ask questions and seek information without making them feel ashamed for asking. Keep trying various denominations and varieties of Christian churches. Keep praying that God will help you find the right church for you to have the best relationship with Him. He will help you find the right church for this.

Answer 8

I would suggest reading a few books!

Start with this one, it is free and online.

http://www.pbc.org/library/series/10307

I would also suggest reading mere Christianity by C S Lewis and then Simply Christian by N T Wright.

These books are kinda technical, but in the end you will have a better grasp on Christianity than your will get at a friends style church. It is a great family church but it may seem kinda superficial! These books will help give you an understanding into why a relationship with God is so natural and desirable!
What city do you go to church in?

Answer 9

Although I was not raised Catholic, I was raised Southern Baptist. As I got older, I have made several decisions regarding my religion. I've decided I can Keep my faith, without subjecting myself to one particular religion. It really seems to work better for me. I realized I don't need a building, and a pastor to be Christian. Maybe thats a thought for you. It can be such a hard decision, and I feel for you. But just because you don't belong to a specific church, doesn't mean you will go to hell at all.
Jesus lives inside of you, only you can make the decision to remove him.

Answer 10

What are the right reasons. What reasons do you need. God loves you and want to save you from Hell. He wants you to see your father again. He wants you to be in heaven with Him.

It may sound cliche' but think on this. Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you.

Search after God, not what feels good, but what is right. Learn your bible, Learn who God is.

Make a commitment to Him, and find time daily to delve into His word. Trust Him and stand on His promises.

Mt 28:20
teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Amen

Ps 91:1
He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

De 31:6
Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you."

Joe 2:25
"So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, The crawling locust, The consuming locust, And the chewing locust, My great army which I sent among you.

God bless you sister.

Answer 11

Why not take some time off from going to church and really study all religions? Learn about each one. Take some classes at the closest university. As you learn about all of the others out there, you can find out why you believe what you do, and what it means for you. Then you can find your right reasons for your relationship with whatever deity you call your own. (In this case god and his son.) Plus, it will give you insight into why you're NOT some of the other religions. Just approach them all with an open mind, and form your own opinions. You'll grow in your own faith, and find out why it is you believe what you do. ^_^