My heart is broken and did he really love me?

Question

we went out for a year and half and just broke up. He cheated on me and told me he was attracted to other women. This summer which has only been two months away from each other because we go to college and he was in chicago for the summer and why did he cheat. I came up to see him every three weekends when i could. does this mean im not attractive. I dont want to go back to school and see him im really depressed and hurt. why do people say they love you and then cheat? Did i do something wrong? I called him and talked to him when ever i could. I took him to a white sox game for his bday and spend $200 for bball tickets. Then when we broke up he told me he had gone to a strip club and wanted to f*** the stripper but didnt. Y would you tell someone that. He brought up how he was living in a party house next year and he didnt want to hurt me if he did something when he was drunk. then he didnt even call me when my gma died. im so hurt & i dont think im oging to be able to get over this.

Answer 1

Just bcuz somebody cheats on you doesn't mean he or she doesn't love you or have feelings for you. We all have different ideas of love; It's fairly rare when your idea jives with your mate's. In fact, to most of us it happens but once in our life. And then we call it true love. What about the love that came before that? Was it not true? Yes it probably was true - it just didn't work out.

Life is long. You'll get over this and love again. Of this you can be sure. And it will be better next time. Each time we love it's with a new and wiser heart.

Chin up; my heart goes out to you.

Answer 2

Alright listen up jenks:

What your going through right now is dangerously close to the feelings you have when someone dies.
It hurts like hell and there is no amount of crying into your pillow that will change or lessen the hurt.

What you have to do is get past the self "pity party " feelings that you have and try to determine where things went wrong.
You may not have realized it or accept it at the moment but there were signs that this was about to happen.

I don't know you and I wasn't there, But I have seen some bad things happen to good people because of a breakup.

There is usually a common problem.

The problem is most couples buy into the common misconception that men and women each have their roles in the relationship and that's just the way it is.

That is one of those things that is just wrong.

If your Husband, Boyfreind, Or lover isn't also "your very best freind" then you have a good chance of being in the situation your in right now.
I know for certain that guys need a best freind (Yes it definitely can be a woman)
Judging by the questions I've read on Yahoo answers you women need a best freind too.

Are you with me so far? Good.

I've talked to alot of older couples and almost everytime if you ask them who their best freind is or was they'll tell you it was their spouse, Those are the ones that figured out how to not only survive the relationship but be happy regularly because they always have someone right beside of them , No matter what.

You have already lost the guy you were with and I am not sure you want him back if you had another chance.

Get past where you are and move on.

If you look for a best freind in your next guy, You'll find the one that will last.

Answer 3

Ok, ok, ok..... wait a sec! Your not saying that after he has admitted to cheating on you that you are actually still considering a relationship with this creep, right? I mean RIGHT??? You did nothing wrong sweetheart. If you are guilty of anything its being the unfortunate one who gets crapped on by a significant other. So in answer to you Q. No you did nothing wrong. He, on the hand, did! He doesn't deserve your love and devotion. Even if you two do try and work through this issue, you need to be honest with yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror and honesty answer this Q: Will I ever be able to trust him? If your are being true to yourself, and the answer is no, then whats the point of continuing on with this moron anyway? Who is he to do this to you? You are not a doormat, never let anyone walk on you.

Answer 4

First of all, you will get over this and second I want you to stop blaming yourself. Really, you need to stop the blame now and put it where it belongs, on him. It might sound too simple stating that he is young and not ready to settle down, but that is all this is. He has alot of growing up and experiences that he wants to gain before he is ready to settle down. Also, buying expensive gifts is not a sure way to guarantee love from someone. Give yourself and him time to experience this independent time you both have right now. You will only hurt yourself further if you continue to push him into something he is not ready for. Go to college and persue YOUR goals, you won't be sorry. Time and self-confidence you will gain being in college will prepare you for your future and the right mate. Smile.....you will be happy again.

Answer 5

He may have loved you at one point, but not when you broke up. It'll hurt for a while, but it will get better. It hurts so bad now because you truly loved him. If it didn't hurt, then you never really loved him in the first place. The pain is just a reminder of what a caring and good person you are. You will get over it, it does and will get better.

Answer 6

I've read through your question in detail and thought about it. Here is what I think:
You are likely to continue to be good and caring etc even when you meet another person you love
And this person is likely to continue doing the same thing he did with you with the next person.

I'm sure it is not because you are not attractive or anything. Infact your attractiveness could be the thing that brought him to you. It is just that different pople have different natures. All will be right soon hopefully. Be patient please and good luck

Answer 7

Men are all the same. Even married men. Even men who have the most beautiful women (Brad Pitt). They cheat because it's in their nature. Women cheat on men too. I don't think monogamous relationships are normal or healthy.

You'll have to get over it, because you have to. Build up your confidence, you are attractive (you had him, right?) Now, go onto the next guy, and the next. You'll end up finding Mr. Right....it just might take a while. Have fun while you're looking. :)

Answer 8

Listen, I too going thru this horrible turn of my life . But something strike my mind that if somebody feel sick about us and doesn't want to come along and find other girl , either they men stop liking us or to enjoy and set u in the corner when they get something more better and fresh. Whats the fun to stick to them and run after them and beg for ur love. That should be from both the side. I think we should start respecting ourself and should not allow any body to insult. Ok if u belive in god , then keep cool and take it as ur destiny . We can not choose our life its god who has calculator for our sorrow and happiness. Love him and the moments u spent with him and say good bye and feel happy with his happiness . See if both of u love each other and he need your kidney to survive, Don't u offer urs for his survival so give ur love for his new love where he is happy. God must be having something good in ur account . Belive me. Its only time factor. Let it pass.

Answer 9

I don't understand how a man could be so cold and inconsiderate to a such a caring lady. He must have realized deep in his heart that he wasn't good enough for you. I'm so sorry that you're hurt and it might take a while to recover because it sounds like you surrender your whole heart when you're in a relationship. But please hold on because there are good men out there who will really need and appreciate such a caring lady.

Answer 10

I don't understand why they say that either. NO, you did not do anything wrong for him to do those tihngs to you. It's going to take time for you to heal from this heart brake. Just try to take your mind off him. You'll be good as new sooner or later. You'll find someone else that can be faithfull, loving, caring, etc. Have fun, now. Don't direct your life on Miserable Lane. It's going to take more time for you to get out from that phase. I wish you my very best, girl. Good Luck!