I met this guy in a different state than where i live and i prolly wont c him more than twice a year but we both really like each other. I talk to him every nite on the fone and we email... but is it worth it?
2006-08-02 17:56:47 · 18 answers · asked by roxychik 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
why bother
2006-08-02 17:59:15 · answer #1 · answered by angel_64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very, very hard, but if both people are extremely accountable and loving toward each other, then I've definately seen it work before.
Although, the non-existent physicalness in the relationship is at many times overbearing for many couples. I'm not just saying the sex, or the kissing, or what may, but just the fact that you're lover is not physically there for such an enormous amount of time will definately depress you.
My advice: Only keep up the relationship if you see him as being a VERY SERIOUS husband in the future. I don't mean to break the whole "marriage" barrier, but you really have to consider the long-term effects of this relationship.
And the communication is great, keep it going, but every night might be a little obsessive in the fact that you may tend to miss him too much with that kind of dependancy.
2006-08-03 01:06:26 · answer #2 · answered by b_bearz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many variables to consider when thinking about long distance relationships(ldr's). How old are you? How old is he? How long have you known each other? How much about his past do you know about? Yada Yada Yada!!! Any way I speak from experience in this matter. I met a woman in California when I was stationed there in the Army. I was 22 and had never been married. She was 25 and in the process of getting divorced with one child. We met and dated for 5 months and then I was transferred to Hawaii. We debated continuing our relationship and decided to try to make it work. We continued our (ldr) only seeing each other every six months. We racked up large phone bills calling each other every day without the luxury of email. (We actually wrote to each other as well !!) After being in Hawaii for a whole year we got married in Las Vegas and due to child custody issues with her ex, she stayed in California and I returned to Hawaii. We managed to hold out for another year and I got out of the Military, returning to California. We've now been married for almost 11 years with a child of our own in addition to her daughter. It wasn't easy to keep it together while I was away but we made it happen. I think one of the keys to our success is that we were mature and honest with each other. The problem with (ldr's) is you are so enamored with each other over the phone and email initially, but that won't last forever. Inevitably disagreements will arise and feelings will be hurt. This is where maturity is key. You both lead separate lives and need to realize that while apart each of you will have fun on your own and continue to be individuals. Don't let jealousy and envy destroy your relationship by trying to change each other. It is not easy by any stretch of the imagination, but it can be done with lots of hard work and serious commitment. You also have to keep in mind that honesty is important and being honest with yourself is important as well.What I mean is, don't hold onto this relationship if your heart just isn't in it. You should also expect the same of him. There are many fish in the sea. I hope this has been of some help. Good luck and best wishes!
2006-08-03 01:58:45 · answer #3 · answered by ccdriver1972 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did this a couple weeks ago, I think we forget that we only know about 5% of a person in the first week we meet them...
keep in mind the nice thing about being on the phone with someone, is you usually only hear the day's highlights, it's a good way to get to know each other but, it doesn't compare to a one on one relationship.
I'd say it's not too worth it. i found it just postponed the inevitable. the way to make it last is to have him call when he comes to town, or you call when you go to town, that way if things are right, you'll be right where you left off...
2006-08-03 01:03:42 · answer #4 · answered by alltheanswers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only God knows if this is the right person for you. The distance will give you the opportunity to get to know this person better. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Try to look beyond how anxious you are to see this person, and take advantage of this time. If this person is the one God has chosen for you, God will let you know. If not, who couldn't use a real friend? Sounds like a win, win situation.
2006-08-03 01:10:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may havea wife stash somewhere. Look 4 friends u can go out with not 2x a year.
2006-08-03 01:05:50 · answer #6 · answered by lynnbtohs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Long distance relationships rarely work out. Keep this person as a friend...a pen pal so to speak, but don't make any relationship commitments that you know you can't keep.
2006-08-03 01:02:02 · answer #7 · answered by sleepless in the ATL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes and no, yes many relations blossom with people that live in other states or even countries. No because few of those relationships are hearth breaking because you find that they are cheating on you.
2006-08-03 01:03:33 · answer #8 · answered by c18 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say no just remain good friends and if you guys end up in the same place down the road who knows then maybe it could work...good luck
2006-08-03 01:01:14 · answer #9 · answered by Sammie Lee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you can get off by the phone or email then go for it but in reality its like falling in love with someone on tv.
2006-08-03 01:04:35 · answer #10 · answered by honi_dew02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is if hes hot sweet and nice and treats u right than defiantly
2006-08-03 01:00:12 · answer #11 · answered by Just another pretty face 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋