How do you punish kids for hitting each other?

Question

I always have my sisters five kids and they are constantly hitting, kicking, biting and seriously hurting each other. I am not sure how I should punish them because I think that spanking them would just show them that I HIT!! And they will not stay in time out????!!??? I am scared that one of them will seriously injure the other, please any REAL advice would be helpful. Thank you,

These are all really good suggestions. I tried the thing with the wiffle bats once, and while yes it was very entertaining, they thought it was fun as well. JUST KIDDING! I appreciate all of the real suggestions and yes I do realise that many of you believe that the most logical thing to do would be to give them to my sister that is not an option. She just isnt very maternal and if it was not for me they would run free and do whatever they wanted. I do have them 24/7, and I can only do my best with them seeing as I myself am not even an adult yet. Once again, thank you all.

They are 7,5,4,2,and 1.

Answer 1

check out the very wonderful book - How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. By Faber and Maslich.

Awesome, very practical book. Easy, quick read, easy to apply techniques.

And, you're right - you can't hit them to teach them not to hit.
One way to keep kids from hitting each other is to keep them supervised and occupied. Time-out is no longer is favor, because the child feels 'abandoned' and, i think, because many kids don't 'stay' in time-out.

Knowing how old the kids are would be huge in helping give tips to manage them.

It's unbelievably draining and demanding.

Answer 2

Your sister is the one who should be dealing with this. It must be tolerated at home, or it wouldn't be a constant problem when they're with you. If you don't have them 24/7 there's not much you can do other than let them know in no uncertain terms that this will not be tolerated at you house. The next minute they come to your house, sit them all down and tell them that fighting will not be tolerated. Tell them that whoever hits will loose TV priviledges, and must do chores instead. (Even if that means you have to stay right there with them while they do some unpleasant chore, like picking up the toys, or wiping down the cabinets, etc.) Once you enforce this rule several times and they see that you mean business it should sink in. If you really have no control over these kids, and are worried about them injuring each other, then it's time to sit down with your sister and explain why you won't be able to watch her kids anymore.

Answer 3

Five kids? Wow. Are they happy to play solo? Like can you seperate them? Maybe they spend too much time together and need some space.

My suggestion would be to try the next time they get into a brawl,
the culprits go to separate rooms until they agree to play nice. If they need space then they'll be just where they need to be - in a quiet setting alone. If they want to be social - then they'll have to learn that if they're not nice, they can't play with the others.

There's no time out, just their decision on when to come out and rejoin the activity. The only rule is they have to have a good attitude or they'll find themself lonely for as long as it takes to suck it up and be nice to the others.

If you have to separate them into different rooms - actually give them something quiet to do while they're there. It's not a punishment, it's quiet time. Maybe they are stressed out from so much noisy chaos...? I would be if I were them. They're little kids who don't know how to have their needs met yet, so they lash out in frustration because they don't know what else to do.

Maybe they seem like little monsters, but maybe they are just always in a feeling of anxiety and that's how they manifest it.

When I'm tired I don't want to be pestered,and if that line is crossed, watch out - and I'm an adult!! I can only imagine what a stinker I could be if I was a KID in that situation...good god.

I'm no expert - so don't know if it helps. It just seems maybe they need to be understood why they're being like that in the first place - then go from there to find a solution.

Answer 4

You could spank them and explain that YOU are an adult and that THEY are children and when children misbehave, adults can spank them. This could also teach them "how do YOU like being hit?" It doesn't feel good- so STOP doing it! Or, you coudl get them boxing gloves and tell them to go for it! Whichever one loses will leave the other one alone. That is what my mom did with my brothers- they learned that in life there is a "pecking order" and it you don't want to get hit by the bigger person, it is wise to leave them alone. Or maybe they could decide how much it is worth to hit? Like everytime one of them hits the other one, they have to give something up like no dessert, no TV, no friend over,etc. It the other one was bugging them bad enough that they would be willing to give something up for it, then maybe the other one deserved a pop! I am gonna be such a weird mom! I think it's because I still think about how it felt to BE a kid.

Answer 5

So what if you hit? You're the adult and clearly these kids need some discipline. Smack them a good one-let them know hitting hurts! And be stern! If they think they can walk all over you, they will! Kids are like that. They'll keep testing you to see how far they can get. If it doesn't stop, simply tell your sister that you refuse to deal with them anymore and that she needs to take care of the problem.

Answer 6

Give them wiffle bats and let them go at it. Not only is this great entertainment but eventually it will teach the kids that violence is painful and that it is not a good thing.

Answer 7

\ had the same problem until I started putting them in their beds for the rest of the day. Only getting up to use bathroom and eat. No tv or games. Just laying in bed until the next day. It's tough, hearing them cry in their rooms, it's tempting to tell them they can get up but I didn't. After a few times like this they caught on.

Answer 8

My little cousins used to hit each other. I made them kneel facing the wall, upright, for an hour on separate walls. They eventually got the idea.
Hey, kneeling for an hour wihtout any entertainment is totaly boring. They'll stop soon.

Answer 9

Put them in separate rooms for a few minutes as a punishment.
make them realise that the rewards for good behaviour is good and for bad it is bad. Give them some small gifts or add points if they behave in a good manner. SImilarly punish them if they behave ina bad manner ( substract points)

Answer 10

Put them in the corner. Hold one of them in the corner at a time. It's not that difficult if you put your foot down. As soon as they realize you mean business and hitting is NOT acceptable, they will stop.