My little boy hits himself after he has been punished...?

Question

WHen he is punished or I choose to smack his hands or butt, my little boy hits himself on his head or pulls his own hair...WHY? Why does he do this????

OKay so the answers I got were pretty harsh....before I choose to smak his butt or hand for reaching for something hes not supposed to be touching, I most definetly go through oher methods. He cries after he pulls his hair...I have hugged him, said no sternly, time out. Done it all. Since he is my only one I spoil the **** out of him. Hes 14 months and is still breastfeeding. ALmost weened ...almost.

Answer 1

I am not a child psychologist, which you may want to consult, but I think that you may want to find another way of punishing the lad. Usually I am for corporal punishment (when used correctly, on the butt, one or two swats, but not full force!) but somehow he has managed to turn it around on you. Ever watch Supernanny? The time out space has worked for my kids. Pick a place in the house and make him sit/stand at that place facing the corner for however old he is in minutes. (2 years old, 2 minutes) Try that, BE CONSISTENT, don't let him get away with moving away from it, ect. If he does, put him right back on it and go back to what you were doing. IGNORE any outbursts, he is looking for attention and if you give it to him, he is getting his way. Continue this untill he has been on for the entire 2 minutes. Eventually he will get the idea. I am not accusing you of anything, but be sure to pay attention to your boy and play with him. I can always tell when I have been not playing with my 2 when they start to get into trouble. Good Luck!

Answer 2

he is frustrated
(he can't hit you, or he'll get into more trouble.!!!) LOL
My 4 year old kind of went through this...
it's a form of tantrum behavior with some SIB
(self injurious behavior)
he needs to be taught that hitting is wrong, you need to choose a new method of punishment.
we take our son's toys and put them up. we get down to his level and calmly explain that he can not act like that, that it is unacceptable ( what ever his behavior was) and that his toy will be given back when he shows he can act appropriately. Don't keep his toys too long or he'll become unattached to them.
we also send him to his room for a time out.
this has been working well. the main thing is (as the parent) show him what you expect of him. I know it can be a trying time
but just be consistent with what you are doing as punishment. and, give him a warning..
"if you do that again, I'm going to put your toy up"
OR "...you're not playing on the computer tonight, or- watching a favorite show,- or going on an outing later"
use what works for you. be calm and understanding,
"I know you feel mad right now and that's ok, but you can not (what the behavior was)do that, because it (dangerous,not nice,...)
explain WHY he can't do that.
it'll take some time but this does work,
good luck!!
I just saw you added more to your info..
when our son was that age we used time out. they say a minute for year of age, so not too long or they forget what they have done wrong
also, don't feed into the behavior, walk away if he is acting out
telling him he is loved like you are doing is good. tell him you still love him NOT the behavior
again good luck. also,if this continues, don't feel like it's wrong to speak to a professional about what's going on. they have heard it all before. and can give you more direction and tips for dealing with the behavior.

Answer 3

sounds like the subject is that he have been given spoiled youthful, the two no punishment or reinforcemnt from dad. the suitable ingredient to do is enable him throw his tantrum and overlook approximately it, at 8 yrs previous there isn't any way he would desire to be doing this till it went un controllable for too long. My 5 year previous has on no account thrown a tantrum much less nonetheless act that way at age 8. possibly he's upload and has complication at school yet now he prob desires expert help to quit his adverse habit. All he desires in his room is a mattress and fabric cloth wardrobe, no toys so while he gets despatched there or close in his room for an afternoon holiday he wont have something to play with.

Answer 4

Woah.. how old is he? Listen babe. No matter what answers you get from online, please bring him to a doctor.. just to know what's goin on with him. The tender years are important because they will shape the man he will become. An explanation though could be that children watch and mimick everything we do as adults, not just in our actions but in our being. Perhaps he's mimicking you which means you need to stop what you're doing and find another method of disciplining him. He's obviously a real smart kid and he's already associating your hitting him with not JUST hitting but with the infliction of pain which is probably why he pulls his hair.. an equivalent to anything else that inflicts pain. Get some professional help. Start with a doctor.

Answer 5

He hits himself because that is what you are teaching him. It seems pretty obvious to me, and it should be to you also.

But, why do you hit him? It's because it serves YOU, that's why. If you were thinking truly of him and his interests, you would figure out another way of making your point, than to hit him. Sure, it's much easier for YOU to hit him. Then YOU can be sure that YOUR point has been made, and that YOU have been listened to. That's the same argument that the wife beater makes. It serves YOUR interest, at his expense. It's always all about the batterer, never the battered. How do you think that appears to him? ("Why does she hit me if she loves me? Is that how love is expressed? Am I no more than a punching bag?")

You wouldn't let anyone else treat you that way, would you? Is this the best that you can do, truly? Please think of the message that you are teaching when you hit him. (Punishment doesn't have to be a beating.)

Answer 6

My nephew was doing this for awhile whenever I told him no. I was concerned, so I did read about. I don't know how old your son is, but my nephew is two, so I will assume he is about that age. Toddlers are very sensitive, and do not have the means to let out aggression, anger, and frustration. They are only human, so they have to find someway to get it all out. Some do hit themselves, because they are feeling hurt, angry, or guilty. My nephew has now moved on to hitting and biting his mother. I sense there may be some deeper issues and she may need to get him some help. Or perhaps herself. Talk to his doctor, and good luck. Oh- and please ignore the comments about you being a bad mother. Everyone has their own parenting style. You are concerned for your child, and that alone proves you are a good mother.

Answer 7

It's just frustration that he doesn't know how to express. Maybe give him a soft pillow or one of those blow up punching dolls and tell him he can vent on something soft and safe. Another trick is to tell him to throw ice cubes on the outside patio to vent! It's kinda fun, and the ice melts without leaving any damage! That might help. I've been to counseling with my own son about anger management. Also, the Yahoo answerers are right. Don't hit. You need to role model healthy anger management skills.

Answer 8

Anyone with a degree in early childhood will tell you that it is not good to smack your child on the hand nor butt. This frustrates him....and he acts out....hence the hitting of himself. Try talking to him...and using the naughty chair/time out.

Answer 9

I belive he does that becasue he knows that he did something wrong so he punish him self. The good thing is that he knows that he did a wrong thing and must be punish or be punish more. But the bad thing is that if he keeps this up he ll grow up to be a masochists. You in order to him to stop you must stop punishing him. Just talk to him when he did something wrong or yelled at him dont hit him it ll give him a fine start to be a masochist.

Answer 10

That could be his way of venting anger and getting back at you.
He must have known that it hurts you to see him hitting or hurting himself. You must stop this habit of his as who knows as he grows older he might resort to using weapons to inflict injury to himself. Always explain to him the reason why he was being punished, so that he will not harbour grudges against you and show hatred for you. Most importantly, you must hug him and tell him you love him.