Desperate for help with potty training toddler?

Question

My son is 3.5 years old and is making zero progress with potty training. My husband and I have done everything to aid him in this milestone. Rewards, stickers, taking away pull ups, asking every hour, then every 30 minutes, using charts, videos, books, everything! I have tried laying off for a while to give him a break, but that hasn't worked either. We are confident that he is ready because he sleeps through naps and nightime without wetting. Additionally, whenever he goes to the bathroom, he always says "I go potty" after he does it on himself. Needless to say we are at our complete wits end with the entire process. My patience is spent, and I have run out of ideas. I've consulted friends and family with children for advice, read books, surfed the net, always coming up with the same methods we've exhausted. This child is very bright otherwise - thus increasing my frustration that he can't get this. While my husband isn't as worried as I am, we both are about to loose it. HELP!!!!

Answer 1

Ok please understand that your child will master the potty training in his own time. The very fact that you said your son is very bright is a sign that potty training just isn't on his list of must dos at the moment. His brain is far too interested in other things.
If you force him, it will be a disaster. He will become afraid of the whole process. So let him lead you when he is ready.

Your child is 3.5 years old, but that is still a common age to be still wearing nappies.
It is likely that your child will master potty training very very quickly. Rather than some children it takes up to three weeks to learn potty training. And even then some children relapse. They always say the later you do the training the quicker the child will learn what to do. It is because they will have more understanding.

You could try getting him to wear knickers under his nappy so that he learns when he is wet and what it feels like.

Introduce your child (if you can) to some older children. He will probably want to copy them.

If you put a few drops of blue dye in the toilet, he might enjoy watching it change to green when he has a wee.

Get him to watch his mum and dad going to the toilet, as he will already use you as his main role models.

If you can take off his pants and nappy and let him be free to wonder and see if when he needs to use the toilet he asks you for his potty.

When he does use the potty, give him loads of praise. Get him to make his own sticker chart. Don't put any grids on the chart. Just let him put the stickers where he wants to. after 3 or 4 stickers give him a reward. Get a few inexpensive items and put them in a bag and let him choose one of those ever so often.

Get him used to putting his pull ups on and off, so that he is confident to use the toilet by himself.

Even buying toddler friendly fun wipes where your son chooses, and handwash too, makes potty training fun.

Not one book can give you the exact answer that will work for your son. Your child is an individual after all.

How about having two or three of your sons favourite books in the toilet, for him to read when he is on the toilet. It will make the toilet less scary for him.

Most of all stick to it and try to keep the routine the same. Repetition gets results.

Answer 2

It's hard. I'm going through it now with my 32 month old, and i feel the clock is ticking on his. I think I started too early is one thing. But, that aside. When I put my mind to it, I've been training him hard for the past 2 weeks. He is in underwear only but I am washing it so often in a day, and wiping up messes. However I've made progress. I'm just looking forward to the turning point. I don't think you should wait, I think he is old enough. (just like my guy) I think he will get it soon. I hope anywya, it's been 2 weeks hard so far. And more progress made than in the last year. (Like I"ve been trying that long!) But, this is the first time I've done it where I put him straight in underwear; I think, he's ready it's just a matter of helping him to get there. I totally feel your pain though, and frustration. I am sometimes at a loss too!! He's been going pee 4 times or more in a day, and has had 2 whole poo's in the past 2 weeks in the potty....so each little one, is a good sign. I just hope it doesn't go on for too much longer where he is still making all these messes, then I won't know what to do. so I can't really say what is the best!! All I can say, is that i am right there with you on this one!

Answer 3

I had a similar potty training problem with my daughter. Number 1 no problem she would go on the potty every time, however number 2 - she would want a diaper and would refuse to go on the potty. She would even hold it if she had to.

One day I told her all the diapers are gone and I just refused to put a diaper on her. Eventually she got used to it and started using the potty. She didn't like the feeling of going in her pants and would much rather use the potty instead. Try taking the diapers away - you may have some accidents but in the long run it will be well worth it!

Good Luck!

Answer 4

A little peer pressure can be your friend. :)

My three-year-old daughter was only trained a few months ago. She'd been talking about it and waking up dry since she was about 20 months old, but nothing worked to get her to use the potty (consistently, anyway).

But two things helped: one is that a playmate outside of daycare told her that only babies wear diapers or pullups.

The other is that she was fascinated by the ball pit at IKEA, but she couldn't go until she was totally potty trained. (IKEA's rule)

Those were the motivations she needed.

Also, my mother started calling to say "wow!" whenever she had a totally dry, clean day. And she sent cool underpants. And we offered bribes, like going out for milkshakes or buying her the doll stroller she's always wanted, only after she stayed dry and clean for a significant period of time--like a whole week.

My youngest brother took ages to potty train, but he trained himself in less than a week once he started a preschool program that required that all the kids be potty trained.

They go when they're ready. That's the bottom line. But a little push from someone who's NOT Mom or Dad can really help.

Good luck.

Answer 5

my nephew was the same way some kids are just lazy in that aspect. try to wait a while and then try to reintroduce it. that's what my sister did with her son then she did the hour check and made him sit there for 20 minutes she's bring a book in there and read to him. I'm training my 23 month old useing the naked at home method (since we are home most of the time) and she has it down and we're putting underwear on her now and she gets through the day with out accidents. I'd say don't worry though all kids do things at their own pace. Sorry your frustrated . all you can do is to keep trying Good Luck

Answer 6

I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!! I'm in the same boat, I so wish I had an answer for you, I'm looking forward to hearing what other people have to say. My son is also 3 1/2, and when I actually DO get him to poop in the potty, he has a great time having us all come look, and discuss what it's shaped like....but we can't get him to pee or poop in the potty consistantly, nomatter what we try. So, all I can offer is sympathy, and for what it's worth, let you know that you're not alone =)
His 2 older sibs were soooo much easier to potty train, I have no idea what the deal is!!!

Answer 7

Have you talked to the doctor? Some kids develop the ability to feel when they have to go later than others. He can feel that he is wet or messy afterwards but his body may not tell him by feeling the pressure to go beforehand. Also put him on the potty immediately after waking up and wait until he goes, then reward him.

Answer 8

Maybe you have tried too hard. I have 2 boys and they potty trained very diiferently. My oldest took his sweet time mastering it. My youngest on the other hand, was wearing big boy undies right at 2 years old. Kids develope differently and no don't stop aiming him the right way. He will pick it up when he makes up his mind. Good luck!

Answer 9

When I was trying to potty train my son, I would sit him backwards on the toilet so he could "watch" what was going on...eventually after doing this for a while, he started to get the hang of things. It's worth a shot...good luck!

Answer 10

You have educated yourself on the topic extremely well. You could probably write a book about it. So why are you asking us when you most likely are better read than anyone here on the subject? He'll use the potty before he starts kindergarten I promise you!