lady trouble...?

Question

I'm new to this whole answers thing and am in desperate need of advice i'm afraid i'm falling head over heels for a girl that lives close by i've known her a few weeks now and have been told by multiple people that she fancies me and am starting to believe it myself as whenever i look we seem to catch each other's eyes usually resulting in both of us hastily looking away i would like to ask her out but haven't a clue how to as in my opinion she's way out of my league and i am extremely shy and am also scared she'll turn me down. is there an easy way to ask her out? how do i prepare myself in case she rejects me?

Answer 1

Walk before you run. Don't worry about asking her out., yet. Try and be friends with her. Baby steps. Start off just getting to know her. It's much easier to take it to a romantic relationship if you two are familiar with one another. Plus you can get a better feel for what she thinks of you as you get to know her.

Answer 2

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Try next smiling at her instead of turning away, a small step, but if she returns the smile it could be that it is an opening for you.

If you do get a warm smile back then how about just saying good morning or whatever is appropriate, I beleive that if she is interested, as you say she appears to be, things will 'just happen' from there, maybe slowly over a few days or so, or the opportunity to ask if fancies a coffee may present straight away.

You dont have to ask her out for a big posh dinner followed by the theatre and drinks after for the first date, in fact I think it would be the worse thing for you, you may build the evening into a huge deal and just pile on the expectations of yourself and her increasing your anxiety, which could turn you into a stumbling mumbling fool by the time the date arrives. It would also increase your sense of rejection if you half plan all this then are turned down however gently.

Going for a coffee / drink on the other hand does not need all the planning of a super date and so your level of anxiety should be lower throughout leaving you to be more yourself, and that is who, if she agrees to see you like this, she will want to see. It is also less of a blow if she turns you down as the effort and expectations are lower.

A coffee or drink also gives you both the chance to talk to each other in informal surroundings and just get to know each other.

Good Luck.

Answer 3

Sounds like you've got the perfect recipe going there bud. Just be confident, and just be yourself. Not always easy when your going to ask the big question. Start off easy, ask her to lunch, or dinner or a few drinks instead. I think you'll know what to do, you just need to give yourself a push through the door. By the sound of things, I don't think she'll say no, so don't worry. If she does say no, then be cool about it, but stay friends. She'll get to know you better and maybe give it another go later.

Answer 4

Try just striking up a conversation with her about music or the like offer to buy her a drink anything to break the ice some more. Get really chatting but don't go in with an agenda or she'll run a mile. Hopefully she'll notice you're personality and take a shine to you or you could become good friends either way don't force it or she'll think your a creep.

Answer 5

Quite frankly, it doesn't seem like you've got too much on the line here. Simply ask her to dinner during a light conversation. If she doesn't go for it, don't make much of it. This is the worst thing that happens when a guy gets shot down, he frets about it. Just say 'oh, okay' and either continue the conversation or polietly bow out of it after wrapping it up a bit. Don't make it a big deal.

Answer 6

An old motivational saying from Australia is "The pain of regret is far greater than the pain of hard work". Trust me the suffering from a "what if" is so much more worse than anything that can do or say to you. And if she rejects you, if she's really mean to you for showing an interest in her, than she's not worth being with anyway. And your smarter and wiser that you avoided a relationship with this evil girl anyway.

Answer 7

If you really like her just ask her, the worst she can do is say no isn't it? I know when you get turned down you feel bad but at least then you would know and wouldn't be thinking "what if".

You just need a little confidance, once you have that just go for it! Good luck hope she says yes.

Answer 8

Walk before you run. Don't worry about asking her out., yet. Try and be friends with her. Baby steps. Start off just getting to know her. It's much easier to take it to a romantic relationship if you two are familiar with one another. Plus you can get a better feel for what she thinks of you as you get to know her.

Answer 9

so have you talked to her? had an actual conversation with her? get to know her a little bit more, but if you feel like your ready to ask her out, then ask her. she is NOT out of your league...don't think that way...she might think, SHE'S the one out of your league. u never know.
rejection is apart of the whole dating thing...you can't avoid it. i asked a guy out and i got rejected...it hurt, yes...and i was also embarassed and I never wanted to look him in the eye again, but i got over it... the worst she could say is 'no'.
walk up to her or knock on her door and ask start talking to her like, "hey, how have you been?.....blah blah blah...so, i was wondering if you weren't busy on ____ <--- (day of the week), maybe I could take you out to dinner, and we could get to know each other a little better."
or if you can come up with something better to say, then use that. i'm just giving you an example.
be confident when you walk up to her and be confident when you ask her...if you can't act confident, then FAKE it. if she says no...then tell her, "okay, i understand..well then i'll see you around."
something like that. then you 2 can continue to be friends then. but it sounds like she really likes you...you 2 exchange glances and look away and then look again...sounds like she really fancies you...u know, she could also be shy and waiting for you to ask her out...she's waiting for you to make the first move.
i hope it all works out and you get that date with her.

Answer 10

if you really like her then take a chance and ask her out. the worse that can happen is that she says no.. and if so, atleast you took the chance (instead of sitting at home wondering if she ever would go out with you). Plus...if she really is into you, you guys could end up having a really good time. if you dont want to ask her out in person, do it over the phone if its more comfortable for you.