ok so i'm talking to this guy for a year now. we have yet to have intercourse. but have been intimate. he tells me he loves me. calls everyday , usually several times. i love him . but he has this fantasy about me with another man or woman that he wont let up on. he is insistant at times about it. he also has a fetish for chat rooms. cams . and showing on there. he wants me to do that too. we dont live together. and see each other only a few times a month. he says its a way to have the sexual relationship untill we can actually be together.i have told him it makes me feel uncomfortable. and i asked him how he could wanna share me if he loves me and he just says its hot and that he really wants me to try it. and if i dont like it we dont have to do it again .he says that when we are together its love making. a 3some would be sex. should i cut my losses and move on?? when we are together he is so sweet and affectionate. i dont know what to do. i just know i cant do a 3some.
2006-08-02 15:39:55 · 27 answers · asked by bigmommy240 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You already know the answer to your question. You know you should dump him, that's why you're asking this question in the first place. No one who claims he loves you would persistently ask you to have a threesome, or would even want to share you in bed. Being sweet or affectionate is not enough proof that he won't break your heart. It's not love sweetie. It's just lust.
2006-08-02 16:02:15 · answer #1 · answered by TY 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Have you ever watched Nip/Tuck? I heard the same question asked of Loveline (radio show with psychiatrist and doctor). Threesomes show lack of interest in the other person. When someone wants this it's because they're looking elsewhere. They want more out of their sex life, not their love life, and they clearly mean that they want another partner.
If your body isn't connecting then there's something wrong. If the other person is looking outside of the relationship it's because there is something wrong.
A friend of mine was in the same situation you are and guess what happened. She didn't give in! Her boyfriend, although he still talks about how it's a dream of his, doesn't push her to do it. Give it a try, don't give in and if he gives up his pursuit then you've won. It's love but without a threesome.
Also, I found some tips on Maxim on how to kill his attempts. If you're having sex with him then use toys. Make it seem like there's another person when it's just the two of you.
2006-08-02 15:49:10 · answer #2 · answered by Karina S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but I really cant believe that your boyfriend loves you..If he keeps insisting on a 2-some...Yea he may be an affectionate and sweet guy when ya'll r together....And u may really feel that he loves you..But if you've told him that you feel uncomfortable about the 3-some situation..and he's still pretty persistant with asking..then I think u should just call it quits...Cuz if it was love..He wouldn't want that for himself or for you!
2006-08-02 15:50:31 · answer #3 · answered by BoSs_LaDii 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he truly loves you, he wouldn't want you to do anything that wd make you uncomfortable. But I wd also keep an open mind. U might meed another person that you cd do a 3some with and then you cd approach the subject w yr bf.
2006-08-02 15:45:08 · answer #4 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quick answer is if he is willing to share you with others he cannot possibly want to have you his own forever. You have become part of the fantasy for him instead of a real girl with real intentions to take you seriously. He wants you to be digital - just like the other non-caring, non-hurtful lust he is getting from the internet. He cannot hurt or be hurt if there is no real contact or real relationship.
I think he needs to (excuse my language) "whack off" by himself - or have him get two others for his threesome. Move on to a real person.
Just tell him you want to cam him. And then with the cam write bye bye on your tummy as you are lifting your shirt - just a wee bit..... it will take him some time to get it.
2006-08-02 15:47:42 · answer #5 · answered by Kerry Z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you thought about the fact that while he "won't ask you anymore if you don't like it" that he WILL keep on doing it? This is a disaster in the making. The fact that you're in here asking this question shows that you're far more in touch with reality than he is. Cut your losses and find someone closer to home that you don't have any questions about.
2006-08-02 15:44:42 · answer #6 · answered by Scadle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, sweety, you should be enough for him... If you think about it, it doesn't make sense, right? Come on, it's ridiculous. Why would he want any other woman... it should make him feel awkward. I know that true, real love is nothing like that. I can usually tell the difference, I know when people are in love because they should feel like no one else needs to be in their world, and all they need is each other to be satisfied. Don't make the wrong decision and disrespect yourself. It isn't worth it, to lower yourself so much, just to please someone who isn't satisfied with you and only you. If you think about it, the answer is simple, you just need to be smart, trust me.... Good luck, keep your self respect and esteem.
2006-08-02 15:45:52 · answer #7 · answered by Truth hurts 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've answered your on question you asked inside your question. As for can he love you and want a 3some, only if he accepts your answer and treats you with the respect and dignity you deserve.
2006-08-03 13:54:16 · answer #8 · answered by j_cragen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell no. If this guy wants another woman in the bed he wants you to turn lesbian and if he wants another guy in the bed he's gay. This doesn't have anything to do with you since he knows you are against it and still insists on having it his way. Don't compromise yourself. This guy sounds like a pervert. Get rid of him !!
2006-08-02 15:47:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your uncomfortable you shouldn't stay dear...
Now, if your a freak then fine, which it sounds like he is, and there is NOTHING wrong with that...Nothing wrong with actually but if its something your not understanding then....perhaps you need to talk to him about it. Just because someone wants to see you with someone else, doesn't mean they don't love you, it means they have a sexual fetish...NOTHING to do with love at all dear...
Good luck...
Im sure he loves you...
2006-08-02 15:45:14 · answer #10 · answered by ~Sinfully~Exquisite~Stalking~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋