But I never see them ACTUALLY doing it. Sure a few of them. I'm not talking about 30 year olds, I mean teenagers, girls my age. I was the typical nice guy, I would open doors for girls, complement them, they would talk to me about their boyfriends and their family but I never got a date. Girls say they want a nice guy. I say Bullshit. (most)Girls go for jerks. Girls go for assholes that don't give a sh it about them. I have only had one girl say she wanted to go out with me, and I didn't like her, I couldn't figure out why, I was always sarcastic to her and hardly ever payed attention to what she said. Until I found this, It answered all my questions.
On the matter of nice guys vs jerks I wish I could say that the statement was ridiculous and of course the nice guys in the end will get the girl but it's simply not true.
Women (just as men by the way) want someone who excites them, makes them feel special and gives them a thrill on a regular basis. They want somebody who sends them on an emotional rollacoaster.
I've been a bartender in the center of Amsterdam in one of the more popular places students go to, and before I started there I was a real regular nice guy to women. I'd take my time, always was nice even when they were being a total ***** and would really try to make them feel special. And it never worked. NEVER!!
After starting my, at first part time job there, I started, as a bartender, to get a lot of attention from women. Of course I realize that this was because of my job, had I been standing on the other side of the bar I wouldn't have gotten a second look. Problem was that the place is extremely busy and there are too many girls interested to give them all equal attention. To my amazement I found out that the girls I really didn't give the time of day, were the ones that really started to like me and started to do everything just to get a hello or a kiss out of me. (In Holland you give girls you know three kisses when you say hello.)
Exploiting this my sex life picked up a great deal and it started working to outside of my work too. Having a total disinterested attitude, and being a total sarcastic bastard is for some strange reason a turnon with women. If a girl spent the night at my place and I wouldn't phone them up or react really happy when I saw them the next time the girls would start being really nice to me, and do everything to make me happy, this was a whole new world for me! And yes they would come back to my place again and everything would repeat itself.
Two years later I am now the manager of a club by the same owner and can't be as frivolous as I have been the last couple of years. Instead of the one, or whenever it's desirable, night stands I wouldn't mind something a little more lasting. Problem is that being a jerk works, but I don't want to or enjoy being a jerk to somebody I genuinely have feelings for. The other girls willingly and knowingly went for the bartender and not for me as a person, and everybody knows how the story ends if you hook up with a bartender.
But I don't have a clue what happens when I fall in love. Probably the same way as it did before I invented the jerk in me, I'll get burned badly.
And just as in the movies in the end the nice guy gets the girl, but only because the jerk has had enough of her, she can't stand being treated badly anymore. The kid she's had needs clothes and food and a father and she's now willing to choose just love or at least affection over passion. And when the jerk pops up again, she'll be totally blown away again and full of doubts for a couple of weeks. (have I let go the love of my life?, were the bad times really that bad?, am I happy now?)
Well that's my input and I hope somebody proves me wrong, because when it's sex I'm looking for I have the perfect life, but when it's love I'm just as messed up as the rest of you.
2006-08-02 15:08:09 · 26 answers · asked by Greg 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Lazyness.......And I don't cuss all that much in school. That wouldn't be a problem since most of what you hear is cussing at my school. I cussed because I'm ANGRY.
One person said that girls will always go for nice guys over jerks, Bull sh it. You should have read the article. I am a nice guy, but haven't had a girlfriend yet and am incapable of being a jerk to a girl I like.
2006-08-02 15:19:45 · update #1
damn u wrote alot. at first i was reading it then when i saw how long it was i was just like **** it. no offense
2006-08-02 15:11:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
U really sound like a nice guy whose looking 4 Miss Right but it seems like every girl u try 2 b nice 2, is always giving u the cold shoulder. That's mean! Those r girls who don't like the nice guys but who like the jerks and *******. U deserve somebody who will treat u right and show u lots of love. Who knows? Maybe Miss Right will show up one day at the bar and u 2 will hit it off and from there it will lead in2 a fairy tale but I suppose u don't believe in them but maybe u do. Don't b so hard on urself. There r many girls out there who want a nice guy. U will find her just take ur time in finding her. My advice 2 u is 2 tell urself everyday: "My true love is out there somewhere. I will find her 2day. If not, maybe 2morrow. I know she's out there looking 4 me." Good luck! I hope u find Miss Right.
2006-08-02 15:29:13 · answer #2 · answered by emilytobey@sbcglobal.net 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I didn't read that whole thing, but my friend broke that kind of thing down. Teenage girls, for some godforsaken reason, usually choose the douchbags over the nice guys. At some point in their lives, maybe after they've had too much douche, they meet a really nice guy, or maybe it has something to do with the menstral cycle - whatever it is, at some point in their lives, girls usually tend to start dating the nicer guys. So, even if you have to be single your whole life until girls get over the douchbages, there is really nothing you can do.
2006-08-02 15:13:01 · answer #3 · answered by mrcone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow you sure have been around, i don't blame you for feeling the way you do...but after a while you too will fall.....wait till you really fall in love i hope it's a nice girl...because if she is not. and you think she is And is not and she becomes pregnant ...you will be seeing child support too... so, it's just not the girl that ends up in the wrong lanes it happens to guys too...be careful not every woman is the same...you might just get the right one and you thinking the way you do can loose the girl of your dreams..i have a 5 year old daughter and yes ended with the no good one..but now i am free of the jerk and i love having my daughter and don't need a man to take care of her..and i will not be with a man because of necessity...i have to have that passion into my life..and alot of nerds don't bring that passion...so i just have to be lucky if i find a nerd with passion....=)
2006-08-02 15:40:16 · answer #4 · answered by gengen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great work making a breakthrough for yourself and all, but all of this was discovered years ago. There are whole communities of guys that practice showing that they are alpha males and being "jerks" to get women. Honestly though, you can be a nice guy and all, you just can't be supplicating little *****. Girls want a confident alpha male. That is it. Lot's of times, jerks fit the bill and nice guys don't. That doesn't mean nice guys have to finish last though.
2006-08-02 15:13:35 · answer #5 · answered by Player 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's the skinny, Greg. _Girls_ go for jerks. _Women_ like nice guys -- they've had their hearts broken enough times to be sick of jerks. When a woman has enough life experience to realize that the problem isn't a lack of good men but her lousy taste in men, her taste in men changes. Girls don't know any better. That's why guys who are only out for sex can find a playmate for the night, but men who want something deeper have limited options.
2006-08-02 15:17:28 · answer #6 · answered by D'archangel 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. That took a while to read!! Most guys are having this same problem. I'm shocked. I never knew nice guys had issues like this. You asked about teenagers and I'm not sure if I count, but I like the nice guys. I don't like my emotions thrown around like they dont' matter, like I dont'. But most of my friends like the guys who never call them back, only want to hook up, etc. I wish that I could prove you wrong. But for the most part, everything you said is true... But then it always could be worse. I fell for a "nice guy" who was actually an @$$hole...Now THAT suprised me.
2006-08-02 15:16:30 · answer #7 · answered by mlove1307 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds true, personal experience is how I know it's true at times. This is coming from a 15 year old who just came out of a situation similar to this. To let you know I chose the good guy over the jerk.
2006-08-02 15:22:25 · answer #8 · answered by hearts99992000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read it all. Rather long, though. You have the answer, I guess. Don’t be too nice. Then you are predictable. She will know you inside out. That will make her to take you as granted. That will take away the excitement, or the magic. The trick is to keep her on the edge, without actually being a dog.
2006-08-02 15:36:34 · answer #9 · answered by FrozenOwl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girls your age just want to have fun. They aren't interested in a relationship with a guy who opens doors for them. It's only as they get older that they will realize what a catch you are. At the moment, you're a 'nice guy' - the kiss of death in the dating stakes.
2006-08-02 15:34:33 · answer #10 · answered by Bethany 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah kind of a lot of writing. Didn't read all of it but the first two paragraphs but anyways, some girl are scared of nice guys. We have suspicion that they are up to something like trying to hit it or something I have found that to be very true for a few guys. Other guys don't try to hit it and they have a great personality. Trust me, us girls can tell what some of you guys are up to.
2006-08-02 15:13:26 · answer #11 · answered by vietlitogrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋