How do you forgive a family member who has molested you and still live with them in a Christian way?

Answer 1

I have been trying to deal with this same problem. And on Sunday at church, we talked about forgiving. I was molested by my uncle when I was 12 years old. That was 34 years ago, and I still have not been able to fully forgive. I am able to try and I think that God understands this. It is hard to forgive someone who took away your childhood and told you that he is doing this out of love. I am not sure, but if it was love, why did he threaten to kill my parents if I ever told. I can tell you, i didn't share this with my family until I was in my 30's. I would suggest to you that you pray and listen to what God shares with you about this. He will understand your situation and He loves you. Remember that you need to love this person....sometimes that is hard, but i know that you can do that.
I will keep you in my prayers and trust that God will help you through this. Stay strong in your faith.

Answer 2

This is a very difficult thing to do.

It is possible, but know that it can take a number of years.

You most likely will need a combination of counseling from a mental health practitioner of some sort, a minister, support from other family members who recognize that forgiveness is a process that takes much time, and finally, some clearly established boundaries. For example, you may forgive someone but that does not mean you want to be left alone with that person again!

Finally, in the end, forgiveness is really a gift of peace of mind that you give yourself, so it is worth working toward. But it does not happen instantaneously and don't let anyone tell you otherwise, Christian or not!

Answer 3

The first step is to ensure that you are in a safe environment, and cannot be harmed again. If this is currently happening to you, then please get help right away. Go to someone you can trust, hopefully a parent, and report it. If you are confused, and don't know who to go to, then call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (perhaps from a different phone than your home phone if your situation is dangerous).

Forgiving your assaulter is a personal process, and in my opinion, is independent of maintaining any relationship with them. Again, the primary concern should be your personal health and well being. I would suggest finding professional help in this area as well. People from the above number may also be able to help you with this. If you know a relgious or spiritual leader that you trust, they might be a good contact for helping you get through the forgiveness process as well.

Answer 4

"turn them in before they do it to someone else" that is exactly right. even if you really do forgive them, does not mean it is safe to live with them. you still have to go thru a healing process which could take a long time. I believe once a molester, always a molester- that is why they have the sex-offender laws where these people have to be reported so their neighbors know. I would not forgive someone who did that to my child. Get someone to help you so you dont have to stay with them.

Answer 5

You call the police and later after they are safely under arrest you tell them that you are working on forgiving them but first you have to make sure that they are not abusing anyone else.

Then you prosecute the whole difficult way and see that they serve their time. You can hook them up with a christian ministry while they are inside.

If your family gives you a hard time. Then you call the local pastor over to explain to them that you are doing the right thing. If the pastor is crazy enough to disagree and not back you up get a new church where they follow the Bible.

Answer 6

I have an uncle by marriage who molested me. I have forgiven him but I do not choose to be around him. It makes me uncomfortable. I do pray for him though as I truly believe that we are all sinners and need love and forgiveness.This is how I find my peace, when circumstances arrive that I cannot avoid seeing him. I make a point to keep a polite distance.Forgiveness does not mean allowing the abuse to continue of harm you anymore.I have however let it be known in the family so that no one permits this man around their young children.
Peace Be With You,
Debra

Answer 7

Family members who molest other family members are dangerous. I understand you feel you should forgive them, but you have to think of the other family members this person will molest before they die.

Answer 8

turn them in. there is no way to live, christian or otherwise, with someone who has victimized you that way. the person will get their ultimate comeuppance, whether it's at the pearly gates, or via karma, or nirvana, etc. but you have an obligation to ensure that this person cannot hurt anyone ever again. and that doesn't mean just getting them therapy. that means getting them off the street and away from potential victims.

living with them isn't christian, it's masochistic.

Answer 9

You have to be strong in the Lord. Pray, and ask Him to help you to over come it. He can take the hurt, and anger away. You will never forget what happened to you, but God can give you the strength to get over it. As a saved Christian, we have to forgive in our hearts. sometimes it is hard to do, but with God on your side, all things are possible.

Answer 10

You set up a family tribunal and give them a chance to confess publicly. When they do, you forgive them and this makes peace for everyone. If they will not attend the tribunal, you forgive them in their heart, but have nothing else to do with them ever in your life.