I am so frustrated! It's starting to hurt! HELP!?

Question

Forgive me...I know this is a long post. Please bare with me. Thank you. There’s this guy that I am very interested in have been for seven years now. He had just gotten married right before we met. He and I always flirted with each other, but never did anything. Last year he came to me and told me he left his wife. Soon after that when I told him I’d like to see him, he began telling me stuff like, “It doesn't take a brain surgeon to see how much I like you.” Still nothing happened. He said he didn’t want to date anyone incase he went back to his wife. Which he did go back for a short time. During that time he said “If I were single I’d be knocking down your door.” Well, now, he's divorced. Has been since Feb. He told me a month later that he wanted to wait six months so he could heal from the divorce. He'll flirt with me and then say “He doesn't want to ruin our friendship.” Then he'll turn around and flirt with me again, telling me how much he wants to be with me.

I'll tell him, “Yeah right. You need to stop playing with me.” He'll reply with “You never know. “
he's been married 3 times. The 1st time was when he was in the service & he caught his wife screwing around. The 2nd time shouldn't have happened. He married too soon after the 1st divorce. Then the 3rd time was because of his daughter, who was 13 at the time, wanted to live with him, and not her mom. 1st wife had one stipulation for him that he gets married, so there would be a female in the home to take care of the daughter. So mistake #3 happened. I know how hard divorces can be, I’ve been married and divorced twice myself. I am currently single. But the six months have come and gone. I asked him what if he was interested in dating me, he said he has no answer for that. Now this is where I’m really confused. This guy isn’t someone who is a afraid to tell people to go screw them self.

He doesn’t say so. I can understand someone not wanting to hurt someone else’s feelings, but he’s not at all like that. He’s very blunt. Should I wait a little longer? Should I give up? He’s really a sweet guy, just has some issues he needs to work through, I suppose. I’m not sure if I have scared him off or if he has scared himself off. Btw, right now, all I’m interested in is dating and having some fun with him. I do have feelings for him, but it’s too early to know if marriage is something I want.
He’s not afraid to tell people what he thinks. So I’m a little stunned that if he really wasn’t interested that he just

doesn't come right out and tell me to get lost. I'm not into marriage right now. I just want to date him and see where it may go. I like him...A LOT!

Answer 1

wow that question was just WAY too long for me to read but hey i still get 2 points :) uh yea good luck with that.....

Answer 2

Wow, you are someone who doesn't take hints very well...

Every heard the saying "Actions speak louder than words"? Well his actions are screaming something, but you don't seem to be listening. If you need someone to spell it out - fine, I will. He enjoys flirting with you, it makes him feel better. He doesn't like you enough to be in a relationship though. He might do some stuff on the side with you, but if you are looking for something long term - maybe you should stop looking with Mr. Third-Times-Not-The-Charm. You know those people who have been in 4,5 and 6 different marriages - well, ask your self what is the common denominator in all those marriages?

Answer 3

You should probably date him if you think things would go well afterwards. If you would get married with him, then it would be very odd. Its as if he really "didnt" want to get married those past times. He was just doing it just to be married, or he just didnt think about it slowly.

So, if you would date him and everything is going well, and only a short while he asks you to marry him, watch out. Things might look good at the time, but he might just leave you. It looks as if he isnt a very commited guy.

Look for another guy, but if you want to be with him, then just kind of be aware. Try to find someone else who is actually willing to be in a 'long relationship'.

-Edward

Answer 4

It sounds like he does like you, like only! I he has been married so many times, your best bet is to stay away from that type of relationship and just be his freind. Sounds like the stuff he says is to make you feel better, but doesn't really mean it or he would have acted on it by now. Try being busy with other things when he wants to hang out. But I would just ask him outright, if you are ever gonna be more than friends. Accept his answer cause you won't change his mind

Answer 5

Don't waste your time on him. A man like him has enough drama in his life. Don't become a part of it because it will rub off on you and you will not have fun at all hearing and experiencing his drama. Find another man. A man who keeps giving excuses to not have a relationship with you will end up giving excuses why he's not at home with you when in reality he's somewhere with some other woman. Move on and good luck.

Answer 6

Oh no oh no oh no. You sound far too intelligent to be doing something this stupid. You are his backup, period. That's it. He's not "blunt" with you because he wants you hanging on in the background while he explores his options. If he wanted so much to be with you, he would be.

STOP THIS NOW. Use your head. No one is worth this adolescent crap.

Answer 7

Forget about him and move on. He's just playing with your feelings. Sounds like he has a semi-truck load of baggage to deal with. I'm sure you can do better for yourself.

Answer 8

he's got you wrapped around his little pinky! he knows you'll always be there and that you want him. he's playing head games i'd watch out!

Answer 9

he prob doesnt kno what he wants or just playin hard to get