I have recently met a beautiful woman. We've been out on a few dates, had wonderful times together, and have been intimate on a few occaions. The chemistry is strong and she's such a positive burst of energy and happiness that I can't help but feel the same way when we are together. But recently some things have changed. She seems to be more distant and told me that she doesn't want a relationship right now. She had just gotten out of one when we met but this didn't seem to be an issue then. But now she tells me that she's scared about a commitment. She also has kids who keep telling her they don't want her to have another boyfriend. I guess they were pretty close with her ex and his kids and probably don't want to go through that again, which I do understand.
So now she just wants to be friends and still go out to party. I feel kinda used but maybe I'm over-reacting. I don't know how to feel or what to say. I'd like to explore something more with her but I don't want to get hurt.
2006-08-02 14:39:33 · 15 answers · asked by Dark Horizons 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you're willing to have "just a friendship", keep in touch...occasionally,with her. Otherwise,move on. You were probably intimate too soon. She is definitely having 2nd thoughts. Also, her children should come first,and wouldn't you be better off with someone who will put you first? If she was "crazy"about you, she wouldn't be putting you off. i wouldn't waste my time.
2006-08-02 14:50:14 · answer #1 · answered by Sunshine 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is most unusual, in my book. It's usually the man who behaves this way. I can not imagine how you must feel. I know what it is like to have a relationship with a man who has kids, who recently broke up with someone...actually he did that so that he could go out with me. The good news was, however, that his kids were grown, had their own lives and were not caught up with their dad's life...if they had been young kids at home, that would have been different. If your "girlfriend" is respecting their wishes, why is she still going out with you? It sounds a bit like she is using them as an excuse, so she can party, with no strings attached. If you find out that that is the case, I hope you break it off with her, unless of course that is all you want. In ANT case, the feelings of the children are VERY important and should be treated with respect. Good luck, friend.
2006-08-02 21:49:29 · answer #2 · answered by I am Sunshine 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will probably get hurt unless you accept the fact that she thought she was ready, but realized she is still grieving the ex. So are the children. If you want to be her friend give her some space and volunteer your time anywhere. Lots of places that people need someone to talk to. Don't take this personally, grief is part of ending relationships just as much as it is when someone dies. Only our heart knows when we are ready. I lost my love 2 1/2 years ago to cancer. I am still not ready.
2006-08-02 21:47:54 · answer #3 · answered by Sue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she thought that things were moving too fast...Just keep things at a freindly level..Continue to date her but don't pressure her to be intimate until she is ready..Obviously her kids are a big part of her life so why not try and become freinds with them too...Make them feel they are apart of the relationship as well..Do something as a group so she and her kids can see that it isn't that bad afterall.....Just go slow ..Whats the rush
2006-08-02 21:47:29 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The kids are the most important part of the equation. She also doesn't want to be hurt again. You need to REASSURE her that you'd been in for the long haul and not get her pregnant and run off. She doesn't want to disappoint her kids either. Are you willing and able? That's the real question.
2006-08-02 21:46:49 · answer #5 · answered by neener68 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u really do like her then i would stay friends with her for now. still let her know of ur feelings but let her know that u are there for her and that u will be at her side. be there for her as a friend but make sure u let herknow that u are still interested. u want to be her first option when she finally is ready to date! u dont want to end up being just a great friend to her that will hurt even more. good luck!
2006-08-02 21:44:20 · answer #6 · answered by mayami 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen if you wanna explore more with her then keep the attraction high dont stress her about being in a relationship with her it will just push her away as a matter of fact you should try to pull back from her a little to see how she reacts to that. bottom line women want to be with a man no some wussy boy .
2006-08-02 21:49:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You feel kinda used because you are being used. If this is the kind of relationship with her that you want then go for it, but otherwise find someone else because you are definitely going to get hurt.
2006-08-02 21:45:46 · answer #8 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she is just listening to her kids or now her ex is coming back into the picture trying to make things right again
2006-08-02 21:43:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She might want to protect her children. They should be the most important thing in her life right now.
2006-08-02 21:44:51 · answer #10 · answered by karen wonderful 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋