seating situation????

Question

I have a wedding coming up and im so confused about the seating. I want a headtable with all my lineup, but what do you do about their family and spouse? Im sure they would want to spend the evening with them, but would it be ugly to have their spouse sit at the headtable, or even uglier to have the lineup just mixed in the crowd at tables with their family? any suggestions

Answer 1

I'm going against the grain here...because I've lived this. My husband was in a wedding party (his brother's) but we had been married less than a year at the time. Of course, he was seated at the head table, and I was seated with some people that I knew not at all, and they all knew each other, and they knew that I was "Ben's" wife. I was very uncomfortable the entire time, since one older woman asked me how married life was, and that was it, and also because I didn't know many of the other people there, who all knew each other, is this making sense? We had also travelled to be at this wedding, which made it all even worse. While I didn't expect to be seating with my husband, it sure would've been nice, he could've introduced me around to people, etc. As it was, I wound up going up to my husband before dinner was even over and telling him I was going back to the hotel room, since he couldn't be with me (the bride had this rule about they had to all be joined at the hip or whatever until after cake cutting). I still rank it as one of the worst nights I've had in my life. (FYI, I've really gotten close to my sis in law, and she's apologized profusely since and we now laugh about it.)

Here's an idea, I've seen it done and it's really great. Don't have a "head" table with the whole wedding party. Have a "sweethearts" table for you and your groom--placed prominently so that all eyes are on you guys! You can seat the wedding party at tables of honor as well, but then you don't have to worry about the whole lining them up at a table thing, ya know, and then they can enjoy the evening with their significant others. It's really sweet of you to be thinking of them in this way.

In the end, it's your wedding, and do what you're the most comfortable with, most adults can survive a night w/o their spouse, just make sure the partners of those in the wedding party are with people that they know, and can talk with, so that they won't be horribly uncomfortable. But, on the flip side, most adults can handle being uncomfortable for 1 night...I know I did!
;-)

Answer 2

Well PROTOCOL states that you have the spouses and significant others seated very close to the front near the head table, however, REALITY states that since you are the bride, and it is your day, its up to you!

I say inform your lineup in advance of the seating arrangements, so there will be no problem come the Dinner/Reception time. I have yet to meet anyone who didnt concede to the brides wishes.

I dont think it will be that big on an issue since the majority of the time you wont be sitting at the head table, just for the toasts and the meal. Otherwise, mostly eveyone would be up dancing and enjoying themselves.

It's your day- your choice! Good luck!

Answer 3

The bottom line is....It's YOUR day. Do what YOU want to do. Don't worry about anyone else! Traditionally the head table is just made up of the wedding party. Put the spouses at regular tables with people that they also know, and they will be fine! Don't worry about your wedding party "wanting to spend the evening with their spouses"....they will only be at the head table for dinner anyways. After that is done, then they can go and join their spouses and it's party time for everyone!

Answer 4

I always think it is unnecessary for you to go out of your way to accomodate the spouses of your attendants for a couple hour thing that just so happens to be the best day of your life. If the girlfriend/wife of your groomsmen can't handle sitting away from them for those few hours, they seriosuly need to take a look at their relationship, because something is missing.....trust, maybe? I don't know, but something is for sure.

And if you think about it, it's not like their not going to be able to spend the night together since they will be dancing together and such.

I think, to make it look more appealing to the eye, and to have all your close friends sitting with you for dinner, habe the headtable up front and then have the spouses all sitting at normal tables. Just make sure they are sitting by other people they know.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Why are you so sure spouses want to spend the evening with each other? That's what they do all the time; couple socialize so as to spend time with OTHER people. I'd begin by asking the spouses if there is anyone they'd particularly like to have at their table -- perhaps there is a friend or extended family member they'd particularly like to spend some time with. Other than that, I don't see that you need make any special arrangements for them.

Answer 6

Have the familys or other halves, seated in the tables nearby.
The whole weddingparty basically sits at the table of honor for the meal and the toast only. The rest of the time they mingle.
It's a valid concern and thoughtful of you to consider them.

Answer 7

The easiest way is to have a table (or however many you need) where the other members of the family sit there. You can keep it close to the head table so they feel part of it as well.

Answer 8

This is your Wedding day it happens just once in your life....Have your people that stand up for you at the head table ...they can go mix and mingle with their family members later...It won't hurt them to not sit with them

Answer 9

spouses usually sit at a front table near the headtable so they can see each other!!!

Answer 10

I just figured out my head table and let everyone else fend for themselves. No matter who you put where and with who someone gets mad. So, let them deal with it, you have bigger things to worry about.