I got engaged on valentine's day of this year? I told my two best freinds, now all a sudden they are getting married as well. One of them has went so far as to even plan her wedding date to be in the same month I plan on getting married. The other is trying to get married before all of us. I am happy for the both of them. Am I being selfish or do you think they are just rushing to the altar because I am getting married and they might just want the same attention as well?
2006-08-02 14:28:20 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
me and my fiancee have been together longer than one of my friends and the other has been together as long as we have.
2006-08-02 14:54:14 · update #1
i already have a grip, basket case
2006-08-03 14:58:55 · update #2
Not that this will make you feel any better, but this is a pretty common thing. Chances are those 'friends' of yours are totally jealous of you getting married before them, and they are turning it into a competition. I am curious if these friends are older than you and/or if they have been with their significant others for a longer time than you.? It is ridiculous and sad actually. I have seen this same thing happen so many times. Just focus on your special day, and don't let them steal your thunder!
2006-08-02 14:48:57 · answer #1 · answered by WittyPrincess 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My mother and her two friends all got married within the same year. They all wore the same bridemaids dresses for each other's ceremonies and just added in any other girls that needed to be included. They carried the same silk bouquets and had a true bond of friendship. This was the sixties. The feelings were of love and sharing and celebrating each other's good fortune of finding love. No one minded the compromise and no one felt cheated out of anything special or unique, in fact that yellow bridesmaid dress is well treasured in my Mother's closet. I feel for you, because this is difficult. You are not being selfish in your desire to have a sweet memorable wedding. Weddings have changed, they seem to be more showy and the focus has changed from the humble ceremony of vowing eternal love and companionship to a day to be a royal princess with getting things the bride's way and an excuse to have all the attention. My advise is to have a long conversation with these two. If they are truly wanting this for attention, then they will not have the desire to make your wedding memorable or to share this day with you selflessly. You need to talk to these two girls about their time frames. You guys need to figure out if you are going to be each other's bridesmaids. You have a lot to discuss with showers, participation in each other weddings. Do not let this get to you, let your love for your future hubby be your focus. This situation could breed competition for the better quality, the prettier dress, etc. All girls deserve attention for their wedding, but reality is that some girls start to believe they are princesses and that they rule their day and everyone else must bend to their will. You need to think about each of these girls and determine what they expect your role to be in their wedding. You will be so busy planning your own wedding and they will be too. This may be too much for everyone to handle. Look at how far into planning you are, if you can't change your date, discuss with your friends how intense this will be with all the showers, rehearsals, time off work, honeymoons etc. Consider a pact to have a common shower or to not give each other gifts (to save money), to let someone other than one of you head up planning parties or showers (drop a hint to a family member, etc), to not discuss how much anything costs, to not compare each other's weddings.
2006-08-02 15:09:11 · answer #2 · answered by escapeinthepalms 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since whoever you assert no to could become feeling like they're moment first-class, attempt to make a decision founded on good judgment and no longer emotion. I might prefer both the nearest one (or the less expensive flight), or the only on Saturday so you do not have got to take Monday off from paintings as a result of journey time. If the Saturday one is nearer, you've got a fair larger intent. Honestly, a few men and women RSVP'ed no to our marriage ceremony with much less of an "excuse" than that, and it did not offend me in the slightest degree that they could not attend. We'll be so busy besides that day, it is not like there might be time to hang around and seize up. Just be certain to ship a great card, and if you'll be able to have enough money it, additionally ship a present early to allow them to understand it's not anything individual and you continue to want them good!
2016-08-28 13:39:04 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you're being selfish and a borderline Bridezilla...get a grip!!! You honestly think these 2 friends of yours are getting married to steal your limelight??? I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt, you need to do the same with your friends. I'm sure they've just met Mr. Wonderful, and they think/know he's the right one, and they're jumping!! Be happy for your friends, genuinely happy. I promise you they have given absolutely no thought to you and your plans while making their own--so they may be borderline Bridezilla's as well. I also think most brides have a little Bridezilla in them as well. ;-) I don't know what month you're getting married in either, but if it's a popular wedding month, then that could explain why friend A is getting married in the same month.
Just relax and be happy for your friends, dance at their weddings and mean it, and they'll return the favor for you!
2006-08-02 16:42:42 · answer #4 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no you are not being selfish!!! your wedding day is suppose to be just that your day. you want all the attention on you not the up coming wedding of your friend and the wedding that your other friend just had. if i was i would try to change the date and if they say anything about it just explain that you don't want the attention to be taking from there big day so it don't make you sound selfish it sound more like you are doing it for them. good luck and congrats!!!!
2006-08-02 16:53:25 · answer #5 · answered by aprils242001 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you guys are very close this could be their way of trying to be like you. (you know like if you've always done everything together). Personally, i think it's rude of them to be taking the spotlight off of your day. it's not a race or a copycat game which is what it sounds like they're trying to do. i would talk to them and tell them how you feel, and if they don't get it, possibly change the date so that the spotlight is only on you for your special day!!
2006-08-02 18:33:03 · answer #6 · answered by kiki 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be happy for them. There's enough love to go around. No one would get married just to spite a friend!
2006-08-03 01:41:03 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl!! this is petty just get married and b happy!!! U know that they are jeallous and competing!!! Hope U stay married. That is more important nowadays
2006-08-02 15:12:38 · answer #8 · answered by Naomi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sil did the same thing to my Husband and I. Fortunately it didn't end up happening. Nothing like trying to rain on someones parade.
She ended up doing it to my Husband's baby bro (her baby bro too). They didn't like it at all.
2006-08-02 15:35:39 · answer #9 · answered by treday25 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be so disapointed!!!! I would try to change my wedding to like news years eve to make it more special and exciting.. I would be pretty mad!
2006-08-02 14:36:14 · answer #10 · answered by curiosity 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋