I would like to stay frieds but It's so difficult for me. The guy that I've been casualy dating calls me up, and he apologises for not been there for me 100%. and he tells me that he is still greaving his past relationship, and eventhough he knows he doesn't want to get back together with her he wants to be friends and that he misses her kids and wants to keep in touch with them. So, he kind of tells me that he still wants to see me because he really likes me, but he doesn't want to use me (sort of speak) to get over the whole thing. I been thinking about it bur I don't know what to do; I refuse to be the rebound girl, but I don't want to be the arrogant b***h. What should I do?
2006-08-02 14:07:31 · 11 answers · asked by Lily 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I respect him for coming out and been honest.
2006-08-02 14:09:44 · update #1
You should give each other some time apart. He needs time to sort things out with his ex and get over past experiences. If you push him into a relationship before he's ready, it won't work. Give him some time to be single and just keep a casual relationship with him. You will be a rebound if it moves too fast.
2006-08-02 14:32:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should give him so space. It's funny because its kind of my situation. I was with my ex now for ten years. I was with him from the age of 17 till 27. We just recently broke up. Immediately after we broke up he is now seeing some one in Jersey. He isn't really over me (oh and I do have his 7 year old daughter) and I am not sure if she really knows that. I feel like she is the rebound girl except she is too blind to see it. Its tough when you get out of a relationship where there are kids. So if he was honest to tell you that he misses her and her kids its because he hasn't totally moved on yet. You do have every right to feel the way you do you re not being arrogant at all. Just give him some space. It takes time to get over some one . For me its been 5 months and I am honestly still having a hard time adjusting. If you didnt want to cut him off chances are he is probably a really nice guy. Just give it a certain amount of time before you make your decision.
2006-08-02 21:19:16 · answer #2 · answered by slim27 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They say the longer that you have been in a relationship (HISTORY) say a 3year relationship? It could take that long to get over that. This man could probably really use your support. There are so many men that are fathers or have taken on the father role, they get attatched to the kids, If you could possibly imagine, not wakeing up in the morning to kids that have been in your life and etc.... when you have become accustomed to that. This guy is honest, Your not arrogant if there's hope, Try to put yourself in his shoes, Give it chance, you might be surprised. Go with your instincts, you'll know what to do.
2006-08-02 21:22:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a friend to him and stand back let him get over her by himself.It s hard to de-friend the kids because they did not do anything.Time and her getting another boyfriend will fix that problem.You are not a arrogant Bit*h when your protecting your feelings, that is being wise.I'm sure he is sincere when he tells you he wants to see you ,but at the moment ,seeing you enables him to get over her faster.So you would never know his true feeling for you.Half the time people who are on the rebound think to their self ,I wish I would of never stated seeing oh so and so. Because your not level headed when your emotions are running wild.Stand back and be a friend.
2006-08-02 21:13:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that when he is over her and wants to be there with you and for you, then you will be there. but you won't be a rebound girl. Tell him that you want to be friends right now so he can think. Because girl rebound relationships don't work, and I don't want to see you hurt.
2006-08-02 21:15:06 · answer #5 · answered by christinadc2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy was honest with you about his feelings. His feelings are like a roller coaster- they go up and down. If you really feel that you should be there for him- be there for him. If not, talk to him about how you feel. It looks like he is using you as a rebound girl. Do what you think is best and stick with your decision. Good luck.
2006-08-02 21:14:55 · answer #6 · answered by Lady S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he not being honest with you it not the kids he want he want back his old girl friend back he is just useing the kids for excuse that the only way to a women heart and you know it dont be fooled he is keeping you around just in case his x- decide to tell him not to come bye any more. use your common sence you are going to be his rebound girl.
good luck
2006-08-02 21:17:10 · answer #7 · answered by little ace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being honest???????This is one of the oldest BS stories in the book hun.The guy is getting 2 women for the price of 1 ,and all he has to do is get everyone to feel sorry for him.The guy is playing the both of you.I had a freind that used to play this game a lot.
2006-08-02 21:15:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he hasn't gotten over her. IF you stay you will be rebound girl. it more than likely won't work out. If you are looking for long term you need to break fee. If you are into the moment stay.
2006-08-02 21:13:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's doing that so you won't be his rebound. He's very nobel. Give yourselves time because the heart needs time to heal. So what if it's the right place, wrong time...does that mean you should give up? Maybe he's the one.
2006-08-02 21:19:03 · answer #10 · answered by neener68 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋