my stepson, who is 10 yrs old, weighs 185 lbs. He only comes to my husband and i every other week.?

Question

Is there anything we can do to help him lose weight? He eats more than we do. He most recently went from living in a house with his mom, to moving into a condo. He shares a room with his 19 yr old sister, when she isnt in college. We are so so troubled by his weight. He has told us that they eat "take out " food most of the time. what are your opinions and suggestions on this ?

Answer 1

First of all, your husband needs to communicating with the boys' mother over this problem. I know this can be difficult, I am a stepmom myself. This boy is having some serious problems that are going to affect his health and well being the rest of his life. Second of all, no young man of his age should be sharing a room with a sibling, especially an older sister. So much of this is screaming out to me that he is unwanted and unloved; at least by his mother. Is he being used by her, and kept in her custody, in order for her to get back at your husband for what went wrong in their relationshop?? Are there other people in the family that are morbidly obese? Does he ever go for medical checkups? There are just too many unknown factors here for me to try and help you further. You and your husband both need to take a closer look at all of these factors. Where I live human services could be brought into the mix in order to determine if this was a neglectful situation on the mothers part or not. He needs the majority of the help within his primary residence; and unless he is going to come and live with you and his Dad, per a change in custody; that is where you have to begin. If you cannot have more control over his eating at his mothers, make sure that he is getting good, healthy and balanced meals while he is at your house. Find an activity you can all do together, walking, bike riding, going to the beach; any activity that may help him lose a few pounds, once he sees this happening and starts to feel physically better, he will want to keep it up. Best of luck to you all, you sound like a wonderful and caring stepmom. Have a good night!!!

Answer 2

Wow, you are getting a lot of good answers here.

I am divorced. So I can identify with the custodial parent. It is tough and eating fast food means you don't have to cook that day. But given the problems with kids and obesity and the size of this child, it sounds like neglect/abuse.

You don't want to make comments to the stepson about his weight, since he already realizes he has a problem. If he has expressed a desire to lose weigh,or even if he hasn't in, maybe you could teach him how to cook healthy. This would also, be a great bonding experience for the two of you.

Maybe you could have him come over more, if he came say everyother weekend and maybe one or 2 nights during the week, he would have an opportunity to eat healthier and learn how to eat healthier. Maybe you could also get him involved in other activities. I know this maynot be possibile with school and geography.

Now, as for sharing the room with the 19 yo sister, maybe for a weekend here and there fine, but for breaks that can go for 1-3 months, this is not appropriate. This kid needs his own space. I assume he has his own space at your house, can he spend much more time with you over the summer and other breaks.

I really think that this poor kids needs to feel wanted and loved and needs a stable household.

And here comes the really radical thought, any chance that you and hour hubby could get custody.

You seem like a great stepmom who really wants to help and be involved.

Good Luck

Answer 3

Most likely the "take out food" or may be a lack of exercise along with being a child of divorce, some have stress that leads them to eat more and use food as a comfort. I have an 11 year old daughter that is about the same weight, she is 5'4 and just a big girl all over for her age. I am divorced from her dad and remarried but I was told that children can use food as a comfort in stressful times and while we try to feed our kids the right foods we as well have the other parent who likes to rely on "take out" food as a mean of the meal for the day! I can only say maybe try to limit or fix good healthy things lower in calories and fat and try to as a family get some exercise or activities that you all enjoy so you don't look like you are just picking on him...I try to do that with my daughter too...She is doing better. I just think life is hard for kids today and us as parents have to try to do what we can to help them. Good Luck and cudos for being a cool stepmom!

Answer 4

Take him to his pediatrician for help. This is something a professional needs to help with. Good luck and take care honey.

Answer 5

i'd have to agree with daisy ... nice answer :)