What do you do when therapy, and meds no longer work for your depression?

Question

I am really begining to think I will never be able to beat this depression. It just seems that every avenue I attempt to get better, I run into a brick wall, then end up back at square one. Is anybody in the same situation?

Answer 1

dear friend,

try to find out what sort of depression you have. is it related to a major change in your life? what major change was that. was it traumatizing? if you fell into depression doe to a trauma, say .. you have seen you wife die in a car accident or similar - you really need professional help to get yourself out of there since it is a deep shock - yet people will know why you are there and how to lift you up.
if its due to a less shocking event (you found your wife with your neighbor in the bedroom or she simply left you) - then you are diguesting a broken heart and all i can tell you for this one - it takes time to cure. sometimes it takes as many years of heartfixing as the whole relationship took up years in your life. it will all become good again after a while, no matter how much it hurts, but it needs time and nothing but time. meanwhile, date women, force yourself back into romances and dont get frustrated when you figure that no other woman will give you the same measure as the lost one ... you are comparing and its unfair to compare but still you will do it ...the good news is ...you compare every single time a bit less and one day you are free of it and you go on with life - most likely even better than ever before.

now - if you depression is there and you simply cannot really explain why, then you are most likely a victim of several smaller circumstances that are adding up and hit you joint forces like a tsunami. i went through a similar situation till recently. i woke up sad and could not tell you why. i went to the office without my usual smile, i used to be the motivator of everybody and suddenly could not even motivate myself. i figured out that one single event in my life triggered a frustration. in my case it was a suspected case of job-mobbing. i was building up alone a project of great potential, brought people from europe and china together for a big project and i was the man in charge. my only lack was the unability to speak english and chinese at the same time. after 12 months of preparation the CEO from europe got in, seen the work done and was happy. additionally he has seen my co-partner speaking chinese and english and communicating well between the different parties. even she had not created the job, never had the management skills or abilities - she simply was nominated GM within one day and i got out empty. get my point? i was blown to the corner without any reason. another person took the fruits of my farming. i got angry but decided not to talk about it - maybe wait for the right moment - not explode infront of everybody. maybe a wise decision but from myself, agression tranferred into depression. a smooth one.
a week later my wife shouts at me over a minor event and just happened to not come down that quick. normally i would think "ok period time - she is driving nuts once a month - pretty normal" but this time i felt "how unfair, why everybody hits on me" i was already punched in the stomak by this work issue, then my wife seemed to also not understand me anymore. i go to work and see this person who took - i have to see her, talk to her every day. then i come home and my wife argues with me. where can i hide? no place of rest no place of peace. some more small things came on top that i could normally wipe out of the world with a good amount of self confidence and with a smile on my lips...but not now. my face communicates by its sheer look "here sits a sadsack" ...everything seemed to get worse and worse....i was feeling that i was sliding into a depression.

now what to do

first of all

get back into charge of yourself. solve yourself before you solve your problems externally.
take 1 week or even 2 weeks off. make this a decission that you are not asking anybody for. you decide it. either they immediatly accept your holiday application or you call in sick.

leave the place, go to a place where you find peace. beach, mountain, nature... does not matter. walk a lot on the fresh air, take your time to think and find to yourself.

when you are back to your place, be sure you have your emotions under control. be sure, people are actually not bad or mean. they are often blind and do not see that they deeply hurt another one. they think you are far more robust. they feel comfortable with a sudden gain without work and might not want to give it up just like this.

call in meetings - one by one - and solve your problems one by one. striktly separated. write down the points you like to discuss. maybe write an agenda. dont call the meeting right after finishing the agenda. read the agenda a day later oen more time and make sure you take out all peaks and all personal emotions. you want to discuss on nutral ground to really open the other person up. explain them "you did establish this and that and the fact that another person simply takes the credits is not fair. certainly happy for anybody in the team who has success but very disapointed that nobody raised a voice in the team for yourself" face your wife and tell her "you know your monthly problems and last time it hurted me like hell. i was already so sad from a problem in my job and now this gave me the rest. can we try to communicate better in the future? ...

you have your very own and individual problems which i dont know, so all i can do is explaining you this by my own personal experience and i hope you can adapt your problem.

i am practically over this stage now. i explained everybody why i got mad, sad, felt unfairly treated. i did it friendly and by underlining "we are partners, friends, family etc, so we should be so good with each other to be able to discuss a major problem that bucks me so much - without getting emotional. i want you guys to listen to how it entered me and what you changed in me. i want you to understand that all i want is coming back to happyness and being the good old guy i am usually, so please help me diguest this problem, since the piece is too big ..cannot swallow, cannot diguest. help me.

reaction was ... everybody felt concerned , they understood their doings and they all helped to solve the problem. people around you are actually good. start to communicate once you are ready.

good luck

peter

Answer 2

First - Dont give up. Second there are prerequisites (yeh like school, that are very important) Dont get bummed by my answer - DIET and EXCERCISE. Excercise floods the brain with endorphins and eating certain foods can really really help. No matter your body - work out hard! Feel good about yourself at least physically. id bet if you had a six pack and some pipes or could run a 5 minute mile you'de be half way there. Vitamans can also help. Stick with the therapy (especailly if there is something that caused it) and read up on depression - knowledge is power.

Answer 3

It usually means that you have another part of depression to deal with or another level of it to plow through. Has anything happened physically or emotionally or financially lately? Think it out good! You may need to adjust your meds or change brands if you have been on the same ones for a good while. I KNOW depression ! I have been injured and can't work(lost my home waiting on the soc sec to decide if I was diabled for 3 yrs so I had used all of my savings and now receive soc.sec.$600 mo!) and that brought on more depression. I can't do things like I used to do or hold my grandkids and just buying gro puts me in pain for a few days and sometimes up to a week. I get what I call pain exhaustion where I push myself to do something and then I am so out of it with pain for a good while.So I also have depression from pain.I keep being thankful for God being in my life because I don't think I could have dealt with all of this without HIM.

Answer 4

The absolute WORST thing you can do to try to solve the depression problem is to spend one more second focused on yourself, your thoughts, etc. Keeping a journal and going to counseling or other suggestions along those lines will only keep you fixated on the poor perception that is causing your depression.

The BEST thing you can do for yourself is to help someone else with their problems. Help your neighbor move, take your dog to a retirement home to let the residents pet him, complement your sister on her new dress, adopt a little brother/little sister, take a load of groceries to your local free food pantry, put a penny in the old man's cup, pick up that wadded paper towel that didn't land in the trash can in the public restroom, ANYTHING to get your mind off yourself and realign your perception with what your place is in this world; a contributing and valuable member of society.

Self focus=self pity=the seed of all depression

Answer 5

I'm afraid that I opt for natural sources, not drugs. It is genetic in my family, and I've battled it for 30 years now. While family members about me are on some meds, I took another route. First, find a good spiritual base. I have mine with a Holy-Spirit based Church - different from my original upbringing in Lutheranism. Then, I exercise. That brings about endorphins that bring about natural "highs". Keep very very busy with hobbies or occupy yourself with doing for OTHERS, not yourself. When depression hits hard, we tend to get into a spiral and crash because we get too self-focused. Eat right, avoid fats, startches and sugars. Find things that excite you - movies, books, art, theatre, concerts and such and friends to enjoy them with. I also take Omega 3 oils - Flaxseed variety for depression, as well as an herbal supplement from the plant - Saw Palmetto. Saw Palmetto is typically for men's prostrate health, but I found that it had a side effect of combating depression, so I take it. I have been told also about St. John's Wart, but I have not tried it; the two supplements I take (Omega 3 and Saw Palmetto) both hold me steady when I encounter small to general levels of depression. I only came across 2 very strong occassions of depression. Counseling helped the first time and the second time, I turned to God and let Him run the show and help me through. I did take HALF dosage of a prescription dosage of depression med for approximately 1 month. I never took the full dosage, and I weaned myself off of it as soon as I stablilized.
Nowadays, I have my new Church and I'm dating someone who needs me and I in turn am thriving on being needed. It's a matter of feeling that you matter, and recognizing signs when the depression is beginning to set in, and be pro-active about combating it toe-to-toe; never allowing the depression or blues to set in. Please seek out gentle alternatives, if possible.

Answer 6

Ive never actually been clinically diagnosed with depression but I know some people who have and this is the advice i have given to my friends.

Everytime you see your reflection (in a mirror for example) look at yourself and say "I love you" I do it all the time. If someone is see's me, I still do it - they usually laugh, but I reckon it helps to keep up my positive outlook on life.

Answer 7

I've been there. Gave up and tried to kill myself. I found a way out, though. Apparently the therapy you've been trying isn't working for one reason or another. All I know is cognitive behavior therapy works if you diligently apply it daily for several weeks. Read my story on how I got out of 'incurable' major recurrent depression:
http://www.geocities.com/seabulls69/AntidepressantThatWorks.html

'nuff said?