does anyone else feel that way?

Question

i feel like all guys want from me is sex and that i completely useless for any other reason. why do i feel like that and does anyone else???

Answer 1

Seems normal to feel like that when so many guys are so blatantly out for sex and only sex. It doesn't mean that 'all' men are just out for sex though. Keep looking. Don't get too discouraged. There are good guys out there. Something. I think..

Answer 2

First -- It's Not Just You. THOUSANDS of girls and women feel this way.

Second -- It's Not Even You. That is, it's not that you're useless, it's that countless messages in advertising, movies, TV and other pop culture bombard girls and make them FEEL that they're only good for sex.

About ten years ago I read a book called "Reviving Ophelia" written by a therapist who worked with adolescent girls who were in serious trouble -- prison, addiction, HIV, etc.

One thing she found was that there are huge and largely unrecognized social pressures on adolescent girls to feel this way, from the way products are marketed to the way girls are portrayed in TV and movies.

Most of the girls she worked with were between 10 and 18, but the issue affects women into their 20s and 30s, and no doubt beyond, as well.

I've included the book's Amazon listing in the Source field, below. Fascinating study. Not a lot of "here's how you fix it," but sometimes it's very important to realize that you aren't going blind, the room really DID get darker.

There are some things you can do to counter this feeling:

1. Get involved in something you really care about. Ask around your school, church or workplace and see if there's a group or nonprofit that's doing something that matters to you. It could be as simple as visiting an animal shelter to spend time with homeless cats and dogs (we've done that -- if you think nobody cares about you, try walking into a shelter full of caged cats after they learn to recognize you, you'll burst into tears at how happy they are to see you). It could be cleaning up a local park or building a house with Habitat for Humanity. But whatever it is, pick something where you can see the results. Nothing beats looking back and saying, "Hey -- *I* did that."

2. Learn a useful and challenging skill. For me, it was cooking -- in part because, as a boy, cooking was "the road not taken," as the poem says. (My wife says that if I joined the Wear Your Pants Backwards club, I'd attend meetings with my zipper in the front, just to be different.) I can see that cooking might have some "baggage" for you, because it's pigeonholed as "women's work," but let me tell you, no amount of verbal praise or kind words can come close to the boost in self-esteem you get when you take a bite out of a perfect biscuit you just baked yourself. So maybe you'd be better off learning a "guy thing" -- like, oh, I dunno, driving race cars or martial arts or casting metal.

3. The last thing to remember is that you can't be responsible for the fact that other people are jerks. So what CAN you be responsible for? Keep asking that question. Maybe it's getting to the meeting of your non-profit on time. Maybe it's looking guys in the eye and saying no thanks, I really don't need to put out for you just to feel like my life has meaning. Maybe it's something you'll make up for yourself. But whatever it is, something happens in a life when you declare yourself responsible for something in your life, and then live up to it.

Answer 3

Yes! I feel like that all the time. I think its because that is the #1 goal of guys. They are always lookin to 'hook up' so they call it. They can't see anything past 'gettin some' cuz its all they think of. It doesnt matter if you can read or write, and hey, they aren't interested in your opinion if you have one. They do or say what ever to get sex. Then later we are left wondering ..... what happened? why doesnt he answer my calls now or say the things he said b4 we had sex? SO .... then we r on yahoo answers askin everyone else...... what happened??

Answer 4

First of all, no I don't feel like that and if you do, it's because you allow it.

Let them want it, that doesn't mean you have to give it.

If you feel you like you are completely useless, then make yourself useful for something. If you feel you are useless, others will too.

Stop worrying about guys and how they feel about you, get an education and make something of yourself that you can be proud of and others will have a higher opinion of you.

Answer 5

I feel like the same way about women using me.
Personal opinion: people need sex, and so they have sex until meeting the right person. When you find the right guy, he won't 'just want sex' from you.

Answer 6

Too many guys believe the hype on TV and Movies. They get the idea that ALL women are HOT. There are many nice guys around, you just have to wade through the creeps to find them.

I have to ask, in fairness, what are you doing to attract the guys you've been seeing? Maybe the signals you're sending are confusing to them?

Answer 7

You probably feel like that because your self-esteem is not very high. I recently felt like that with someone so I kicked him out. Of course, I also found out I was right so sometimes it is true. You should work on feeling good about yourself and screw what anyone else thinks.

Answer 8

ya i feel that way too some times. but dont stress about it. a guy will come around thats wants u for u and not sex.

Answer 9

a lot of women feel that that. sometimes its true. just follow your heart and im sure they dont think your useless for anything else. take care

Answer 10

I went thru that phase. You just are in a dating funk is all. Wait on putting out and you'll have no regrets or question as to why a guy is into you.