Okay...this is a complicated one.
I have a family member who has a long history of drug abuse (although, he claims to now be drug free) and has been diagnosed as schizophrenic. He has shown violent behavior towards me and other family members. Because of this, I DO NOT want him near my baby. I truly can't trust him.
What is a kind and gentle way to tell him that I don't want him near my baby? If I just come out and tell him, it could cause a very dangerous situation for me, my husband, and/or my baby.
Your advice is appreciated.
2006-08-02 11:50:40 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I am forced to be around him. He is part of our family (which I am very close to). If I choose to not be around him, I would choose to alienate myself from my own family. That's just not an option. Believe me...If I was able to stay away from him, I certainly would.
2006-08-02 11:57:11 · update #1
FYI - If I didn't have my baby's best interests at heart, I wouldn't have asked the question. For those of you who are sympathetic to my situation and answered my question, thank you.
2006-08-02 12:33:54 · update #2
Just Tell a little lie ..Like Oh It's time to feed them.
Or. Oh He/she is getting over a cold.
Or just Tell him the Doctor wants you To NOT let people hold the baby other than You and your husband Just don't let him see others holding the baby.
2006-08-02 14:10:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Protecting your baby is priority number one.
You don't have to make excuses for your behavior.
Be an adult and be honest.
IF this family member poses an actual physical threat...it's your duty to protect your child.
Just say, I am a new mom, and I'm very protective of my baby and I dont feel comfortable with you holding him. I'm sorry but that's how I feel.
And in the later statements, you say that alienating yourself from your whole family is not an option...well is sacrificing the health and safety of your baby an option??
I think you need to think long and hard about what's important to you...
2006-08-02 12:22:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the mother. Protecting your child is number 1. I would stay away from him, not only for you baby's reason, but because he has shown violent behavior towards you and others in your family. Others in your family won't be offended if you don't come around if he is there. That baby should come first ALWAYS.
2006-08-02 11:57:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am hoping your husband understands your worries and is willing to work with you no matter how silly he thinks you are being. And from the looks of it, it seems this person is your blood relative and not his.
So here's my take on it. There is no gentle way. You are given the divine power and resolution to protect your children. Stay away from family members that may house this person. When asked, make it known you do not feel safe. If they don't agree with you, it doesn't matter. They aren't the ones that feel unsafe. And you do not feel it is in the best interest of your child to be in his presence. it is your child. DO NOT feel guilty for protecting your child!
If that person refuses to acknowledge your request DO NOT hesitate to contact your local authorities for a restraining order.
2006-08-02 12:04:16 · answer #4 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Avoid him, or tell him in a place that is safe, when the baby is not present that way if he does fly off the handle your baby will be safe, and you can go to the jail and file a petition for commitment, if he is a danger to self or others the state mental hospital will have to take him it is the law.
2006-08-02 11:56:45 · answer #5 · answered by hahaha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's a good one, cuz I have kind of the same situation.. I actually jsut dont' let many ppl hold my baby cuz he was in intensive care for a while, and so he can get sick easier, so that is MY excuse. Plus I jsut like holding him, adn I feel wierd when other ppl do.. lol
I would jsut say that A) you dont' want him to get sick cuz your dr said to be extra careful.. B) you're not ready to share yet... C) he spits up all the time, and it's pretty gross... or I dunno.. make something up, because like you said it coudl cause a problem if you jsut come out and say it, plus it woudl just hurt their feelings.. lol :)
2006-08-02 11:56:39 · answer #6 · answered by Amanda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are an adult. You are responsible for your child. You do not have to excuse your behaviour provided you are within your rights and the law. You can tell him or anyone else no. You don't have to be mean, just honest. You also don't have to give details or explain yourself. Sometimes a simple no is enough or a not right now.
2006-08-02 12:04:21 · answer #7 · answered by Jack 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would lie and tell all family memebers something like "the doctor says we need to be very careful with baby because he/she has a very weak immune system so we will have to limit visitors and I'm sorry but we need to not handle him too much"
2006-08-02 11:54:48 · answer #8 · answered by jilldaniel_wv 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that the best thing would be to avoid the family member all together. If that's not an option, simply say that the child has not felt well, or reacts poorly to strangers. When it comes down to it-it's your child, and you have to do whatever you need to to protect them.
2006-08-02 11:55:08 · answer #9 · answered by Shawna R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dang. Thats a good one! My baby is nine weeks old at I know how it feels. I hate it when people feed her. I would just tell that dude that he cant hold your baby. Be prepared for some crazy stuff to happen and to kick some butt if you need to. If he tries to get crazy around that kid, you got to shut him down.
2006-08-02 11:56:29 · answer #10 · answered by chris 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋