The child in question is a 4 year old boy and has taken to being aggressive towards his little sister. She is 10 months old and he has shown no signs of jealousy or aggression in the past.
2006-08-02 11:19:53 · 17 answers · asked by Cheryl 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
My son has separate time with both me and his dad, we reward him for good behaviour, he is usually very loving and gentle, loves helping with his sister, has special time with other members of the family alone, is consistantly told how special he is.
The aggression is sudden, only since school has finished and is home all day with us.
2006-08-02 11:41:08 · update #1
When i ask why he is trying to hurt her, i just get a shrug, or i dunno. We have talked loads about how he needs to show her how to behave.
2006-08-02 11:54:38 · update #2
My son (4) acted up when my daughter (1) was about 6 months. A bad combination of baby getting more active and boy getting his first bout of testosterone. We tried time outs in corners, in his room, no TV, no treats... there was a fair bit of shouting and door slamming... but I always tried to talk to him about his behaviour when we were all calmer. We talked about how I didn't like the behaviour, it upsets me, how important he was as a big brother, how baby doesn't know any better. But also made a big thing of any good behaviour - telling him how proud I was that he helped his sister, that he can show her how to be a big kid, tell him how nicely he was playing with her, that we had a lovely day together etc...and every now and again I would take him somewhere just the two of us - for him and for me. It would just be a movie or a shopping trip - they say you shouldn't make these occasions to grandiose because it reminds them of the old times when it was just the two of you - you need to make it seem like normal and part of the new bigger family life.
But most of all, it's all about perseverence - he'll grow out of it, he's just reacting to the change. Good luck!
2006-08-02 11:45:28 · answer #1 · answered by Sunshine 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The child needs to be taught regularly that the behaviour is not acceptable. Everytime the child upsets the 10 mth old child, sit him in a naughty corner or a step for four minutes. If after 4 mins he is still bad, then put him there for another 4 mins. Whenever he does something nice to the girl reward him and show lots and lots of praise.
He will soon recognise that the bad behaviour is not the way to go. But he will also learn what he has to do to get some nice attention from his parents.
it works everytime as long as you have persistance.
It is definately not acceptable to be shouting or hitting your child. You will only reinforce the aggression in your child.
Remember that all children want attention all the time. Whether it is negative attention- like mom shouting and yelling at them, or positive attention - like dad giving them hugs and praises. Kids thrive on attention. So make sure its only positive attention that you give.
2006-08-02 18:30:15 · answer #2 · answered by midnightfolkuk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show him quite clearly that the consequences of being aggressive towards his sister are very disagreeable to him, in whichever way you see fit. If one method isn't working, change it. You could try holding his arms so he can't move, and saying to him in a 'voice of God' tone, "WE DO NOT HIT PEOPLE." Then if he disobeys, repeat this statement and tell him he is going to be punished. Then punish him by sending him to bed, or making him do without some small thing that he badly wants, but does not need. The main thing is - be utterly consistent, and don't allow yourself to be drawn into arguments with 4 year olds. I used to believe that if you were consistently kind to a child, no matter what their behaviour, never punishing and always giving the benefit of the doubt, then everything would be ok, but experience has taught me otherwise. Having said that, the other important thing is to make absolutely sure he isn't left out or sidelined because of the needs of the baby. To give him your time and attention for brief set periods that he knows he can rely on. And to make him feel that he is just as important as the new baby, and that you haven't 'forgotten' about him. (Not suggesting you have, but children see things very differently to the way we see them, and fear of things happening informs a lot of their ongoing perception.)
2006-08-02 18:33:00 · answer #3 · answered by dorothy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him strict consequences for his actions. But don't do anything physical. That will only teach him that aggressiveness is OK. Take things away from him that he really likes or make him stay alone in his room whenever you see him acting aggressively towards his sister. But make sure he gets a consequence every single time he does something. Be consistent.
2006-08-02 18:25:10 · answer #4 · answered by red_rose6886 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The little boy is asserting his place in the family hierarchy. Involve him more in the care of the baby by teaching him to feed her, let him help bathe her, etc. Explain to him what his duties are as "big brother" and turn his feelings of aggressiveness into feelings of protectiveness.
2006-08-02 18:26:31 · answer #5 · answered by texasgal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing I know from Super Nanny is you correct the behavior and don't call the child bad. You tell them that you do not like what they are doing and get down to their level and look them in the eye and you can put them in time out for 1 minute for each year of age. You tell them I love you, but I don't like what you are doing.
2006-08-02 18:26:07 · answer #6 · answered by radioaahslady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take time with just the two of you. Show him that he is special. But you must never let him get away with his behavior. You must be firm, and do it with know anger or aggression. Make it a time out and stick with it.
2006-08-02 18:26:54 · answer #7 · answered by vaec179 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should get in contact with Dr. Kris Murrin. She's a child psychologist (who presents the BBC Three show "Honey Were Killing The Kids").
She's really very good and if you can get in contact with her then I reckon it would seriously help.
Otherwise try submitting your question to http://www.q2a.co.uk who'll answer it within 3 days and provide a seriously good response.
Good luck
:-)
Kris Murrin: http://www.nci-management.com/clients/kristinamurrin.shtml
2006-08-02 19:42:06 · answer #8 · answered by The Techie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's old enough to understand....so watch him closely something must have bothered him, maybe he feels left apart for some reason.
If you can't find a reason for it, grounded him, be firm, he is definitely doing something wrong, it's not fair for his sister....
But mainly try to talk to him, and when he is in a good mood or when he does something good and nice, hug him and express how well that behavior is... try to focus in his virtues and qualities.
2006-08-02 18:28:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tie him up and lock him in a cupboard, feddin him fish heads ocasionaly and when social security comes round tell them its for medical purposes.
2006-08-02 20:32:23 · answer #10 · answered by minizila2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋