Should girls shake hands??

Question

I have always wondered this. Im a girl in high school and never know how to greet people. Some people shake hands and some dont. Then its just awkward waiting to see if the person is going to stick out their hand or not. I thought maybe I would be the one to stick out my hand to shake (to save the awkward waiting) but is it weird for a girl to do that. Its normal for guys but what about girls? This is a silly question but I would love your opinion. Also, if the girl does it first, does it show confidence?

Answer 1

It depends on the situation (I'm a girl who just graduated high school, so I know). If it's a casual situation - example, a new girl joins your class, you meet someone at the swimming pool - then no, you don't shake hands. However, if you're being introduced, going in for a job interview, etc., then yes, you do - and yes, it does show confidence if you offer your hand with a smile. Make sure your handshake is firm and confident, and after two or three shakes, let go - you don't need to shake forever.

And it's not a silly question at all - knowing when to shake hands, and how, is a good way to get ahead in life.

Answer 2

Traditionally, it would be considered rude and forward for a man to stick out a hand to a woman. She would decide whether she wanted to shake his hand (or let her hand be kissed), and offer it if she did. So I think its definitely not rude of you to be the first to stick out your hand. It not only shows confidence, but is, I think the proper thing. After all, how DARE a man presume that you wished to have physical contact with him!

I read a lot of old etiquette books, so I know this to be true, but wasn't able to find anything about it on the net. There are some sections in Emily Post (see link) about handshaking that you may find interesting though.

Answer 3

There's nothing at all wrong with shaking hands or offering your hand to greet someone. I do very much dislike, though, when people I hardly know or have only been around a few times try to hug me. (Most people who know me know that I am not at all the demonstrative type. A guy, especially in today's society, is playing professional suicide to hug anyone at work. I only hug family, and I try to make that clear at work before any trend gets set. I think you will find in most professions that hugging is eschewed. It just appears artificially chummy and presumptuous.)
Supposedly hand shaking started among warriors as a way of verifying that the other person was not armed. As far as the business world, in western societies, handshaking was reinforced as a greeting behavior because certain elements wanted to find out (before discussions started) if you belonged to the same fraternal organization they did.

Answer 4

I don't think you need to shake hands when you're meeting people at school, unless the other person does. It's kind of a formal gesture, like for interviews, so yeah it does show confidence! But for school, I think smiling and looking the person in the eye is a good show of confidence. An awkward moment does happen sometimes, but if you laugh it off it's a good ice-breaker. :)

Answer 5

I was raised it's only polite to shake hands. I still do it. I think it does show confidence as well as put you on a bit of a more even playing ground. You'll be amazed at how much you can learn about a person just from the way they react to your offer of a handshake as well as by the way they shake your hand.

Answer 6

It's just a courtesy. I always shake someones hand if I'm meeting them for the first time, or if I haven't seen them for a while. As far as girls shaking hands, I think it does show confidence when you can stick your hand out first and give a firm handshake. Any why not? I think it ought to be normal for anyone who wishes to shake someones hand. Not gender specific.

Answer 7

It's best to shake hands in a business setting or when being introduced to someone, socially.
As a female, it feels weird everytime. I feel like I shouldn't have to shake a man's hand at work and that there should be some other gesture for woman. Like a man could grasp a woman's hand but not shake it. Or, bow.

Answer 8

I think this is a great question - and you are absolutely right.

I think in the past, a woman would extend her hand for a man to pat or kiss upon introduction, but these days as the line between the sexes gets thinner and thinner I think yours is a great idea.

I personally think it is more important for a female to act gentlemanly rather than ladylike - and it has worked well for me throughout my life. You will surprise some people by shaking their hand, but if you do it as a matter of course, they will shake your hand back and think you are very polite and forthright. It also does give people something to do during those first awkward moments of meeting.

Remember, though - the strength and sweatiness of your handshake says something about you. You want to extend a firm, calm, clean and dry hand (even if you have to wipe your hand on your pants before extending it).

I think people will respect you for it. I would. I know lots of girls in their mid and late teens who stand their with their baby voice and wet noodle handshake (or they just look at the ground and act shy) and I wonder what will ever become of them.

Peace!

Answer 9

Get used to shaking hands. It what people do in the professional world (at least in the US/West). Don't let it intimidate you. People will take your hesitation as lack of confidence. Fake it till you get used to it. I wish someone told me that when I was younger. It took me a couple years to get it. Real ladies might not shake hands (according to a post above) but those ladies will not be successful in certain environments either. I hope those ladies have a trust fund.

Answer 10

Shaking hands is just fine. Nothing wrong with it. And I believe it's a firm handshake that shows confidence :) But being first to shake hands is just a nice gesture - a universal way to say "hello."