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We're in a serious relationship and we've talked about getting married within the next 2 years. I'm 24 and he's 26. The topic of children has come up a few times and he says that he can't see himself ever being a father. Growing up he had issues with his own father and I have a feeling that has something to do with him not wanting children. I, on the other hand, would really love to have children in the future. I guess my question is, Do most guys think like this when they're young? Is this something I should be worried about?

2006-08-02 10:33:23 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting Parenting

We've talked about "What would happen if it accidentaly happens?" He's said that if it happens then he would be willing to accept all responsibility and would never think about leaving me. I think the root of it all comes from his issues with his father and that they are still unresolved. He says he's afraid that the same thing would happen with him and his child(ren).

2006-08-02 10:50:13 · update #1

7 answers

Two thoughts...yes, he is still pretty young and probably has not given a lot of thought to that. Secondly, if he is saying he doesn't want children, he is unlikely to change his mind at this point. If you go ahead and have children, he MIGHT resent them and you and you MIGHT end up in a very unhappy situation along with your child(ren). In my mind, this is one issue that each must be like minded on before marriage. Once you have children, you can't change your mind.

I suppose I am saying that, for me, I couldn't have made a life-time commitment with somebody who didn't think the same way as I did about children.

I hope this resolves to your liking. Good luck!

2006-08-02 10:42:57 · answer #1 · answered by bears_and_babies 2 · 5 0

I would worry. He's 26, most men have decided by then if at some point they don't want children. When you two talk about this is his judgement an absolute no as far as kids are concerned or is it a not right now? Either way you two need to sit down and really discuss this before you invest anymore time into a guy that MIGHT leave you if you get pregnant.

2006-08-02 10:43:27 · answer #2 · answered by Just me.... 4 · 0 0

Many guys think like that right through their entire lives. I do. You need to take it seriously. It is a mistake to have children with someone who does not genuinely want them. Until and unless he freely volunteers that he wants children, you should assume that he does not, and furthermore, that if you become pregnant that he is fairly likely to leave you, or at least to be an uninvolved parent.

Take pregnancy and having children very seriously. And ignore the "he will grow out of it" advice: that's dangerous to your children. Not wanting children is not something that one "grows out of". It's a legitimate attitude.

2006-08-02 10:39:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

NOs always win, don't have children with this person, and don't try to change his mind. If you want children you must leave the relationship.

2006-08-02 21:25:13 · answer #4 · answered by outdoor man 4 · 0 0

Well I would say a lot of guys aren't like that cuz I kno my b/f isn't because I am holding twins in my stomach and he is so happy!!!

2006-08-02 10:40:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

yah they all say they dont want kids...he will grow out of it when its time....i say wait as long as u can....children need alot of love and if hes not ready and u get pregnant he might leave.

2006-08-02 10:39:17 · answer #6 · answered by Deshawn & Keshawn's mom 3 · 0 0

and also stop having children in this troubled world,,

2006-08-02 10:51:58 · answer #7 · answered by qwerty 2 · 0 0

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