can you make me laugh?

Answer 1

boo it's your husband...no really it is whats for dinner love you honey

Answer 2

OK, so it's a hot july afternoon and this penguin is driving this beat-up old car and it's making all sorts of rattling noises and belching smoke. He manages to coax it into the first Pep Boys he sees and walks up to the guy at the service desk.

"You gotta help me!" shouts the Penguin. He explains the problem to the guy at the service desk, who points to the long line snaking out the front door.

"Come back in an hour, maybe by then I can take a look at it," says the mechanic.

The penguin waddles off down the road in the 100 degree heat and stops at a Baskin Robbins. He orders a banana split, and not exactly having good coordination, when he gets the ice cream he just bends down and eats it with his beak, flapping his little flippers / wings as happily as he can.

Not long afterwards, the penguin is sitting back enjoying the brain freeze when he notices the hour is almost up. He hurries out the door and up to the mechanic shop. Finding the mechanic up front wiping his dirty hands, the penguin looks up and asks:

"Well?"

"Looks like you blew a seal," says the mechanic.

The penguin looks horrified, then realizes something. "No, man," he says, "that's just ice cream."

Answer 3

Larry wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Larry looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean.

So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you." So he goes to the kitchen, and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

Larry asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious, broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door."

Confused, Larry asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married'!"

Answer 4

there was a plane full of animals . there was a rude crow in the plane. he asked the servant to bring him some wine . (servant was a cat ) when the cat brought the wine the crow said : i don't want it . go away !!
the cat said : why sir ?
" bc i'd like to be an asshole " crow replied .
20 minutes later crow told the cat to bring him wine .
once again he told the cat that he tries to be an asshole .
there was a bear close by which was looking at them .
the bear thought to himself how funny the crow is . let me do the same .
he asked the cat to bring him some wine . when the cat came , bear said : go away i don want it .
" why sir ? "
"bc i wanna be an asshole like the crow ."
the cat became angry and told the guards to throw the bear out of the plane .
the bear said : but why ? how about the crow ?
crow replied : bc i'm not ******** like u . i've got wings stupid !!
how was that ?
i've got a better animal joke . tell me if you want to.

Answer 5

i could but you'll have to pay me first...but then again i'm a Extraterrestrial from the planet LaughaLot and i get paid in snickers(not to be confused with the candy bar your little globe is so obsessed with) which is apparently unavailable on your measly planet.So, NO Earthling! i will not appease you..not now not everrrrr!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

Well, go and get some nitrous oxide (laughing gas) immediately. Then, breathe it...

Answer 7

I'll try.... Yo mama is so fat she sat on a curb and made it a driveway.

Yo mama so fat she put on a green shirt and went to mexico everyone yelled godzilla!!!

Answer 8

I just flew in from Chicago-and are my arms tired! (BA-dum-dump)

Answer 9

if you could see me naked you would laugh!

Answer 10

Sure, just look at my picture.