My boyfriend's family are good, christian people for the most part. His mom and grandparents aren't so bad when it comes to things like asking us to go to church with them and things like that. But I have an inkling that his father, who is a really sweet man, STILL after 2 1/2 years hasn't quite caught on that I'm an atheist. I'm constantly bombarded at their house with uncomfortable situations, mostly brought on because he's ranting about something on the O'Reilley Factor. I don't believe in god, I'm pro-choice and I don't have a problem with homosexuality. And he's SO the opposite. I feel like it's one of those situations where it would have been better if I had come out and said something when we first got together because now it's too late and I think he thinks I have the same views. I plan on marrying my man and he might be my future father-in-law. I don't want any bad blood because he's passionate about his faith and I'm not quite so. How do I go about talking to him?
2006-08-02 09:32:16 · 3 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your question is framed in a caring manner. I very much appreciate your position. I am an agnostic, but my family is very Catholic. I make it a habit not to talk about my beliefs and I focus on shared values. I do not expect to be accepted as an agnostic. However, my appreciation for the family as a whole allows me to accept them as they are. I can only control me not them. We are valued for what we bring to the table that can be shared.
If they do not drink from the same cup of beliefs, find something else to bring to the table. A mutual shared appreciation of your man may be one of the things you can share.
Do this by understanding our beliefs are what divide us. Our values unite us. Act to unite by shared values. Water will cure any mans thirst. However, beliefs are like serving sand to a thirsty women. Your beliefs are sand to others and theirs are like sand to you.
Steven R. Covey writes about this in The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective Families. "Seek first to understand, then to be understood."
Based upon how you asked the question I am going to assume you are someone who will appreciate what Covey has to say..
I wrote about this in my blog over the last holiday season. I also compiled a list of helpful books Steven R. Covey's book was among them.
I hope the following helps!
2006-08-02 11:00:02 · answer #1 · answered by donsabe 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
if you are a good person this shouldnt be an issue.this family sound relaxed even though they are churchgoers, try not to spend as much time at their house to avoid all these questions. if youve no money, try going for walks with your b/f just to get out of the way. good luck.
2006-08-02 09:50:07 · answer #2 · answered by The Way 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mothers and fathers will most often simply brush it off as oh good he nonetheless demands to increase, reason I recognise me being 15 my mothers and fathers do not take something I take significantly haha. So ya simply come proper out and inform them well good fortune~~~
2016-08-28 13:48:23 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋