me and my bf have been off and on for 7 yrs and we finally got back together after 3 yrs.. and we have been together for almost 3 months.. before we got together we were always on the phone together and now i call him and he tells me he will call me back and he never does and i ask him why and he says because he hates talkin on the phone but his brother told me he is always on the phone wit other ppl.. what should i do?
the reason we r off and on is because we lose contact and stuff and i would move or his number changes.. but everytime we see each other we get back together
and we never break up we just lose contact so we always just keep going out i grew up wit him and his family and its weird cuz i have never been "jus a friend" to him it was always us dating.. so i wouldnt kno how to react as jus a friend
2006-08-02 09:28:08 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I had a relationship like that for 5 years with a guy. Everytime we see each other it's like we were never apart. Then we would end up going back out again or getting involved, but then we would break it off again and go our seperate ways for a while. It was like a huge emotional roller coaster, with all the ups and downs and getting off and on. I finally decided to get off and stay off, no matter how much I loved this guy, because I had to do what was best for me. I don't regret that decision at all, and it has been great to finally get on with my life. I feel so much better now. I think if you both really wanted to be together, then you would both try harder to stick with each other instead of losing contact. It seems like you both just assume that the other one is always going to be there whenever you want to hook back up and one day one of you is going to move on and leave the other behind. You should move on before that happens to you.
2006-08-02 09:36:49 · answer #1 · answered by xlx_angelic_2_demon_xlx 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though he is working on the assumption that you are just friends, very good, close friends.
It also sounds as though he is moving on in his life while you are remaining faithful to someone who may surprise you someday with an announcement that he is engaged/getting married to someone.
Unfortunately, it is the fact of life that absence doesn't always make the heart grow fonder...sometimes it simply allows the heart to move onward.
I think you are being friends right now except that you are the more loyal of this arrangement and he appears to assume that you are no longer a couple...even if you still "date" on and off...
Talk to him, if you are neighbors, go over in person instead of the phone. Get this all cleared up, opened and then closed...you deserve to know where he stands and he must know were you are coming from. "Breaking up" might be the one thing he didn't want to face, unsure of how it would work out, and he might very well think that your out of touch phases are fine and it signals you are aware that friends is where it's at right now, sort of an unspoken understanding between the two of you. Once this takes place, both of you will have the opportunity to continue to make your lives better...we can't always have what we think we want and why is that? Because, somewhere down the road the right thing is actually coming towards us and if we are in a position not to accept it and it passes us by, we may never get the opportunity again to have something better.
Stalls, delays, and in your case, push offs by your "bf" are all things that are fate's way of trying to make you ready for the better things to come.
Hold on, become what you can accept as being...friends or not, but remain open to new experiences. I think you'll soon be glad you were able to recognize what is right for you even if it was at the same time hard to do.
2006-08-02 09:41:51 · answer #2 · answered by dustiiart 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just move on sweety. Sounds like you guys are really just friends with benefits. If thats the case and you both are ok with that then you need to establish boundries about it. If not then you both need to get on with your lives after 7 yrs if it was going to happen it would have happened. Also it sounds like he is just keeping you as a second option if he cant find anyone better or just so he doesnt have to be alone. Good luck to you I know its hard to let go but i think it would be the best thing for you two.
2006-08-02 09:34:09 · answer #3 · answered by maisyday07 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its funny because my bestfriend is in this same situation. I always tell her to do what she thinks will make her happy. Its hard just to let go of someone after so many years but sometimes its better to be alone then unhappy. You need someone who is there for you all time and not just when he has time to be. As far as the phone thing goes, i think its kinda wierd that your b/f would hate talking to you, you should be the number one person he likes to talk to. Its time to move on, try and find someone new!!!
2006-08-02 09:40:18 · answer #4 · answered by poker101 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look hun,
you seem like a realy great girl who is smart and cooll..
you deserve better than that... im not saying he isnt a great guy or that he is mean or bad or anything... i just dont think he is in the right place right now...
he isnt ready to commit like you want to...
dating is more that just fun... it takes 2 people not just 1 trying to make it work!!
so be friends... cuz thats all you are acting like right now...
find someone that cant go a day without talking to you... or some one that would drive cross country just to see you for a few minuts...
your worth it... START ACTING LIKE IT!!!
lol!!
hope this helped...
2006-08-02 09:35:35 · answer #5 · answered by goosyhoover18 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should try dating other people for a little while to see if you feel like your needs are being met. I mean this guy dose not seem like he is even making one or trying to keep you happy. Long distance relationship can work it just they take just that work and trust. You know what your heart want to do better than I do I can only tell you what I would do. Good luck. Hope you get what you wnat.
2006-08-02 09:34:24 · answer #6 · answered by tasha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As Miranda figuared out from Sex in the City, "He's just not that into you". Or at least he is taking you for granted. Just tell him your done and move on. Two thing can come from this: Either he will realize what he is missing and step up to the plate, or you will be free to find someone who is deserving of you affection.
2006-08-02 09:33:42 · answer #7 · answered by Constant_Traveler 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, sounds like if he moves or you move and "lose contact and stuff" and number changes and all that, it's more like a booty call rather than boyfriend/girlfriend.
Really. Sorry, but you asked.
You sound too intelligent to be involved with someone like that, so either treat HIM like a BC and get yourself a real man, or continue to be his doormat. Which you dont want to do.
2006-08-02 09:32:01 · answer #8 · answered by Munya Says: DUH! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basically you need to move on because if he can't make time for you when on the phone how will he make time for you with anything else, Make a list of the positive and negative thing about him and if the negative outways the positive then you need to move on actually you need to anyways because I don't go backwards I move forward and basically cut your losses before you get hurt.
2006-08-02 09:34:00 · answer #9 · answered by Neek-Neek 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you trust him? If you do then you need not worry about it. If you are thinking that he's cheating on you then you shouldn't be together because after 7 years if you don't trust him, its gonna be a long haul for the rest of your life.
He maybe doesn't want to talk to you because he's talking to his buddies, or maybe he just needs a little space.
2006-08-02 09:32:39 · answer #10 · answered by jmk_jenmarie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋