Okay, here's a fun one... what do I do?

Question

My best friend has been going out with a guy for 2 weeks now. She only told me a week ago (practically had to force it out of her) I know she knows that I still have feelings for her (we have a bit of a past) & over the last week i've basically cut her out of my life completely. Yes,jealousy is invovled but it's also basically a case of "How could you lie to me for all these days?I thought we were friends."

I have seen her almost every day (we play in the same string quartet)Tomorrow we are playing at her mom's birthday party all day,out of town.It's only an hour's drive but I am dependant on transport to get around,so, she has made sure that we can all stay over at her folks place for the evening.The fun part is that she has been wanting to "Have the talk" with me for a while now,but i've always changed the subject or just let it hang.I'm now gonna be stuck with her all day and evening. If she should bring it up, what should i do? Simply say "Now is not the time?"

To make things more entertaining, i haven't eaten in a week because of this all, started smoking again and basically have not said more than three words to her. Let's just say that when breakfast, lunch and dinner are served, it's gonna be very entertaining to say "No thanks, just a cup of coffee and a glass of water please..."

okay, i think some of what i said must have been missed: she doesn't know that i am not eating. it has nothing to do with her. i don't expect her to ask me for forgiveness. i just feel hurt about the fact that she can't open up to me about it on some levels.. it's complicated. let's leave it at that. oh, and all those who called me a douche or whatever, i hope your sims character dies.

Answer 1

Your mistake is in trying to be friends with someone you have much bigger feelings than that for, it doesn't work, you will always get hurt, you have to. And you don't get over it because they are still such a big part of your life so you just keep getting hurt over and over again. She doesn't feel the same way or she wouldn't be seeing someone else. So you are basically beating your head against a brick wall every single day and then wondering where on earth this nasty headache might be coming from! You seem to want to blame her, to be angry with her and thats just crap, sorry but it is. You are angry because she doesn't feel the same way about you as you do her and thats ridiculous. If you walked around being mad at everyone that wasn't in love with you it would make for a pretty bitter day wouldn't it? Being someones friend doesn't mean they HAVE to tell you anything and you are trying to claim thats what you are mad at! Thats a ridiculous principle to, really think about those words, you didn't tell me and i thought we were friends, nothing but a pure attempt at instilling guilt in someone else, they did nothing wrong.

You need to deal with this, put it away and move on already. If you have to not see her for a while do that but this is totally unproductive. Have a talk with her but during the talk try telling the truth, something like look I am in love with you, I could keep that in check and under my hat and not deal with it as long as you weren't seeing someone, now that you are I am hurt, I understand I'm not entitled to be hurt and I don't expect you to fix it for me, but thats how I feel. So in order to save myself I am going to have to not see or speak with you for a while so that I can get over this once and for all. That is the talk you need to have and this is why being friends with an ex DOESN'T WORK! You can not be only best friends AND be romantically in love with someone at the same time, do the math it just doesn't add up. It would have been easier to do a long time ago because now you are so invested in your idea of being in love with her that its a habit, its part of your world so will be harder and take longer to get over, but you can do it. Quit playing silly games and dancing around reality, all you earned yourself for living like this is a big old heartbreak, just like everyone else that tries to live that way does. Good luck to you!

Answer 2

Give me a break....it has nothing to do with "how could you lie to me". You have been retaining ownership over her life. As long as she had nothing going on, you still felt you had control over her emotions and you don't want to lose that. Admit it, you feel like she has been unfaithful to you. Yes, it's unreasonable, but feelings are unreasonable. You are suffering the pain of the loss of her love all over again. This despite the fact that if given the opportunity, you probably would not revive the more intimate relationship that you once had. How do I know? Been there, done that...not quite to the same degree, but close enough. Try to have "the talk", should she initiate it, you can always weasel out during it by telling her that you are unclear about your feelings and therefore are uncomfortable about trying to discuss them at this time. Good luck. I know it is horrible to be experiencing feelings that are unreasonable, unjustified, unworthy and harmful to your peace of mind.

Answer 3

Now you need to eat something alright I've been feeling this way to but maybe an apple some grapes bananas watermelon start eating now don't let it make you this upset-take hold of yourself o.k.-If she brings up the subject say well I already know because as it happens I know everything!! Eat all you can -pig out for once-enjoy the cake and whatever is served!! Laugh a lot and don't let her know how hurt you are then you can always go home and cry and get it out of your system!!!!! Don't let it get the best of you!!!!

Answer 4

I'm sitting here scratching my head, trying to figure out why you are upset that your best friend is seeing someone that obviously makes her happy.

It seems to me like she's been trying to break the news gently and you chose to ignore it.

It totally sucks when you can't make someone feel the same way about you as you do for them.

I'll share a true Diva story. I had a friend I met and had this beating like man, this is weird. We remained really good friends for over a year. I never mentioned that I wanted him and it didn't seem to me like anything was ever going to happen so I left it alone.

During this time we both dated people, stayed in touch, traded dating horror stories.

Well one day he sent me a text that says, I am tired of playing the field, I want to settle down, I need a girlfriend. I was like whoa! He took me out to a comedy club and we have been together ever since.

Sometimes the timing in peoples life is off. And Sometimes they are just not meant for you. Your Queen will present herself when it is time. And if you truly love her, you will let her go to find her happiness.

Diva

Answer 5

.1st of all i know it is hard what you are going through but you need to eat, so start eating ;-)
ok so it sounds like your friend was trying not to tell you because she new you would be upset (and lets face it she was right)
she can not control her feelings any more then you can control the way you fill about her.
you need to face the fact that she does not see you that way and not eating is not going to change that. all you can do is be the friend that you already are to her and accept that it is not going to be more then friendship right now. now i do not know what your past with her is or if there is a chance that she may look at you diffrently in the future but how you act now is going to have a big impact on wether or not you are in her future, as a friend or otherwise.

Answer 6

Well, this is tough but, maybe you should try talking to her about how you feel. When she brings up the subject, tell her that you are sad/mad or whatever. She will understand. She was possibly looking for the right time to tell you. Maybe she was trying to "surprise" you. Any way, just ask her why she didn't tell you before and you might be able to become friends again. For the jealousy, try finding your own boy friend or make friends with hers!

Answer 7

Well if you play games you may be the one who gets hurt, now it is ok to try to draw out her true feelings, but have the dumb talk. She did not tell you because she is ashamed, afraid to hurt you because you do or say something to imply that or she wants you as the in case of emergency guy. It seems you have some sort of feelings, so to hurt her you are sabotaging yourself i.e. not eating and smoking. I am sure to get the pity from her. Have the talk, grow up alittle and move on.

Answer 8

Who would I... circulate on a date with: Zac Efron Kiss: Cody Linley Marry: Nick Jonas See in stay overall performance: Corbin Bleu See on the mall: Cole Sprouse Get Pinkberry with: Joe Jonas Spend an afternoon with: Jason Dolley circulate to promenade with: Kevin Jonas Get a letter from: Mitchel Musso no longer have something to do with: Dylan Sprouse

Answer 9

Grow up...I can see why she was hesitant to tell you if this is how you behave...she's your FRIEND (supposedly) but you sure aren't acting like one...she didn't lie to you, she just wasn't forthcoming with something she probably felt you wouldn't be overjoyed to know (gee, wasn't she right?)...get over yourself and BE A FRIEND...support her choice, that's what friends do...if she wanted to be with you, she would be...drop the jealous bit and come to your senses before you throw away a friendship over something so silly...who knows how long this guy will be in her life anyway?

Friends are worth WAY too much to toss aside over something like this...if it's so easy for you to discard her, then you may have been infatuated with her, but ya sure don't sound like a friend...

Answer 10

You quit being a douche. It took her a week to tell you, probably because she knew how you'd react. You can't blame her for dating someone else. I'm sure she's not doing it to hurt you. You are being selfish by acting standoffish to her. She shouldn't have to beg for your forgiveness. If you keep acting this way it should be you apologizing to her. It was only a week, and I'm sure you understand if she was resistant to telling you. Man up and talk it out with her.