Re: Freeloading Father?

Question

I asked a question about my freeloading father and got a lot of heat to this question. i want to add to those that read my previous question and answered. No, he was not there for me, did NOT put a roof over my head. He left when i was one and didnt even pay child support. he also goes to the bar every night and spends the money that he does get for disability AND has a car that he cant even drive taking up my whole garage so i cant park my car in there. he refuses to get rid of it even though hes had offers on it. He has had other offers to move to other places and refused and my daughter is practically living in a closet so my dad can have a room in the small house that we have. Just because he is disabled does not mean i should have to take care of him forever. I do have a life of my own.

Answer 1

i did not answer your first ? , but i will speak on it now... and I hope you will think about all that i say.... ok, dad needs limits and you need to set down a few rules here.... and stick to them.... tell him this is your house, your rules...... and he has a choice here, to go by them or leave.... I believe in family and helping them, but there is also a limit to HELP ... help means helping them help themselves..... in a spiritual sense your obligation to your father is being fullfulled..... you are doing the right thing at this point..... but ............ you do NOT have to let this man you call dad, ruin and run your life or that of your family's..... your daughter is your #1 priority ......... dad is a grown up and needs to face that head on...... the drinking and stuff is NOT i take it, what you want your little girl to see and to learn.... she is learning from the adults around her, watching and taking notes........ so, you need to step up and do what is right for her..... sit down with dad and make him listen to you.... do NOT give him a choice in the matter..... insist that he listen and hear...... put it all down on paper so he can also SEE what you are saying..... go from most important point to the lesser ones... and stick to them...... tell him the car goes or you will have it towed... and that you will not worry about where it ends up ...... but be careful about kicking him out..... if you decide to make or ask him to leave, put it in writting and be very carefull of your wording... make it at least a 2 wk notice, and state the dates and exact times.... put your address and phone and ask a witness to sign it...... cover yourself and protect your child....... I really do hate to even mention you asking him to leave, but I know that keeping ppl in our lives that hurt or bring us down is even more harmful....... God bless

Answer 2

Why don't you kick him out? That certainly doesn't sound like a fair life for you or your daughter. So what if he's disabled? There are alot of places he could live besides with you. Why doesn't he go to an assisted living place, he's still have his freedom to drink if he wanted to. Don't be his door mat, tell him to get out. Serve him some eviction papers and then get the police involved if he won't go. He's not much of a father is he?

Answer 3

I think you should make your dad grow up.
sounds like hes been a user to long.
He has a problem but he has to fix himself.
NOT you sweety, himself.
Tell him he has to go, that the way he acts isnt something you want your daughter to be around or learn from.
He must see this, Its not your Job to take care of him.
He must help out and Your daughter shouldnt suffer cause he doesnt care.
Do it my friend
Good Luck

Answer 4

It sounds like a terrible situation. Maybe it's time to tell him that you can no longer help him, after all what has he done for you. You've already helped him more than he helped you during your entire life.

Answer 5

don't take any tension

Answer 6

OK