I really like him, and we've been spending a lot of time together over the last few months, but I don't know how to broach the subject. I've done a lot of healing over the years, but i still feel like I should tell him. Do you think it'll drive him away? We have had sex, and that isn't affected by the incident, but I still wanna tell him... Any suggestions???
2006-08-02 07:14:12 · 11 answers · asked by Ms. Tesi 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Take it slow; when the time is right you won't have to ask for anyone 's opinion. If he's the right guy there will come a time when you are completely comfortable around him in any situation; and then you'll know that it's the right time.
2006-08-02 07:19:43 · answer #1 · answered by swayed 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure that you should tell him. Somethings are better left unsaid. Unless YOU need to reveal this for your own healing I believe you should really analyse the situation and if after you have let some time go by (at least six months) if you still feel you should do this go to a quite place where you all will not be disturbed, ask him to please just listen, and that after you are thru talking that you will try t answer any and all questions. Be prepared for a variety of reactions, Hopefully he will understand. For your own well being, remember rape has nothing to do with sex but all to do with control.
I have no way of knowing if you knew this person or he was a complete stranger. If you think I can help you adjust feel free to email me. Good luck, hope all turns out well and may GOD bless you.
2006-08-02 07:32:43 · answer #2 · answered by doc3986 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its a hard subject to bring up at anytime. Im sorry to hear that such an awful act happend to you and Im happy that you are healing over the years. Some people get over things by just talking about it. If its that important to you to let him know, then by all means you should talk to him about it. If he loves you then he will be understanding about it. Only if you trust him and feel comfortable you should tell him. You should not be ashamed of it. It takes a strong person to be able to come out and be truthful about it. Good luck.
2006-08-02 07:23:40 · answer #3 · answered by bella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first, I am really sorry about what happened to you, that guy who raped you will get his. he'll die horribly and painfully and spend his eternity in hell. well, if you really have feelings for this guy, it is best to stay open and honest. Communication is the key to maintaining a healthy relationship and the last thing you want to do is scare him off. some guys have some instability issues. it is best to tell him now, since you two are only a few month in, opposed to a few years. the initial year of a relationship is the "getting to know" you phase and you should not hold back any secrets. you have my sympathy and i hope that your life gets better. take in one day at a time. good luck and be safe.
2006-08-02 07:23:05 · answer #4 · answered by reanimated11 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell him.A few months is not enough to know this person well enough to be telling him that much about your life.You should be working on getting to know each other better and what you want in the future.Don't go back to the past, you will only bring yourself back to hurt.Move on ahead.Not all mean are very understanding and they use things that have nothing to do with them against you in the present relationship. Move on girl and be happy with what you are now living.
2006-08-02 07:24:24 · answer #5 · answered by MS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel as though you can trust him and that he really cares about you he shouldn't go anywhere. Approach the subject seriously. Tell him that you want to have a serious conversation. It may bring you closer together and it may help you heal some more.
2006-08-02 07:20:38 · answer #6 · answered by drama 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really nice of u. U're just being honest and this shows that u r true to him. I won't mind if i were him. I'll love u even more for being so honest. Ppl do appreciate that. Tell him just as u r. I'm sure he'll understand. Besides, it's been 10 yrs.
2006-08-02 07:19:42 · answer #7 · answered by lost 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think that anything is wrong with telling him. It may bring the two of you closer in that he may want to prove that all men are not like the guy that violated you. But the ultimate decision is yours and you have to do what is right for you.
2006-08-02 07:28:49 · answer #8 · answered by martini_40727 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him. He can't hold you accountable for something that happened 10 yrs. before you met him. Your past is already a done deal. I think it wouldn't bother him as much as you think.
2006-08-02 07:21:48 · answer #9 · answered by Tee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should wait until you see if the relationship is moving to the "let's make it permanent" stage.
2006-08-02 07:20:03 · answer #10 · answered by rilindy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋