How do you discourage your child from telling lies?

Question

Time outs and taking away toys just don't work .... he's 5 years old.
Should I start spanking him?
He's actually making up stuff and it's all been proven to be untrue.

he doesn't watch much tv --- he likes playing outside with his toys and he loves fingerpainting --- some of the neighbor's kids come over to play but they don't like him telling lies on them ... even though we've proven he's made the stories up.
He knows that hurts me but he still continues to lie... we go through the I'm sorry's and forgive me's a lot but nothing has made him stop telling lies....

Answer 1

Yes - Spanking is a good punishment for lying. but first try to find out why he's telling the lies. is he scared? and don't punish if he is just telling stories, he may just have a good imagination ( which is a good thing )
Good Luck

Answer 2

Spanking does nothing except prove that the parent is NOT in control. Don't spank. Telling tales is normal for a 5 year old. He may be afraid of telling the truth. Anxiety. He doesn't understand the difference between fact and fiction. Maybe too much TV? Talk to him about TV and movies. TV is not real. And when he learns to write, encourage him to write his stories. He may become a terrific author so don't stifle his creativity, just direct it.

Answer 3

I used to have that problem with My oldest son (7), I went through the whole list of new age discouragements to similar results. Then I started pulling out some of the tricks that My parents used when raising myself and my siblings. The dirty, nasty one that worked perfectly was the one we all hated when we were younger, the guilt trip. let him know that it makes you sad when he lies to you. ( make sure you explain this feeling of hurt in detail, because no child wants to hurt his parent.)
When he is a little older, you can bring in to play the trust issue, which should bring him around completely. children love to tell their parents about the exciting things that happened during their day.Let him know (when he is ready) that you just can't believe him because he has lied to you before. ( this WILL bring tears) Tell him that he needs to tell the truth all of the time so you can trust him. Also, as a side benefit, you will be teaching him the quality of truth and trust that he will need when he is grown.
-Good luck, be strong and don't ever give in.
-Father of 3 and loving it.

Answer 4

I am not a parent but i think i might be able to help u a lil cause i have a diff perspective on the situation then u do. Well it is kinda like in school wen someone tells a really big lie and then we all find out that it isnt true they end up losin all of their friends. So just tell him that if he wants to have a good life wit friends and to be part of the lil clix then he needs to just preak the truth straight out cause eventually he will regret it if he doesnt.

Answer 5

Spanking is great but I wouldn't do it for this. He probably doesn't know what it feels like to be lied to. Try telling him something like "Guess what! We're going to the park and then out for ice cream and then to the toy store!" and then when he says "Okay lets go!" get in the car and start driving and take him to some place boring. Then he'll probably say "I thought we were going to the park?" and tell him "Nope sorry, I was lying." And he'll realize how it feels to be lied to.

Answer 6

My son is almost 5 and when he lies to me I explain to him why he shouldn't lie. He has always reacted very well to being talked to like an adult versus a kid who doesn't understand anything. I do the same for hitting and calling names. He responds a lot better to those than when I yell or put him in time-out. Those just make the situation worse.

Answer 7

I told my kids that I can tell when they are lying to me (my small lie to them)I told my son his ears go red and my daugther that she squints her eyes, so now when they do lie they try really hard to hide there ears or stare to keep there eyes from going squint, now I know for sure they were lying! If they are caught lying , depending on what it is I laugh at them for trying to pull a fast one over me, or ask them why they feel they have to lie and say how sad it makes me feel . I must admit we have a great relationship full of laughter, love and a few white lies!

Answer 8

Try this:

After telling him how hurtful it is to lie, tell him that one day soon you'll be telling him a lie, and he won't know it when you do.

Wait about a week or so, then tell him you're taking him to McDonald's or whatever place he likes. Build it up until he's pretty excited. Then tell him that you lied and that you're not going.

Ask him, "It hurts when people lie to you, doesn't it?"

Answer 9

Start scaring the bejesus out of him by telling him that lying can make the cops take you away and put you in jail.. then tell him all about jail.. there's no mommy or daddy.. no toys.. Let him watch a few episodes of Cops!..

Answer 10

1. You have to define the rules up front.
2. You have to stick to your punishment when you say what it's going to be stick to it.
3. Try different things until you find out what pushes his buttons.

For my son lectures worked. He'd rather be spanked that have to sit and listen to one of my 20 minute or longer lectures on why what he did was wrong, what was wrong about it, what he should have done instead, how I want him to act in the future... and so on.