Does any one know any good jokes???

Answer 1

Little Johnny and Little Tommy are walking home from school one day when they decide to take a short cut through someones yard. As they are cutting through, they notice that through the window they could see a women coming out of the shower completely naked. Suddenly Johnny takes off running.
The next day they decide to cut through again. Sure enough, through the window, there is the same women getting out of the shower. And yet again Johnny takes off running.
The next day at recess Little Tommy goes up to Little Johnny and asks, "Little Johnny, why do you keep running away when we see that lady?"
"Well, my mom told me that if i ever looked a naked lady i would turn to stone...and i felt somethin gettin hard."

Answer 2

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life. Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley; and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse! Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies. Best Pals. A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit; and soon he, too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thing, and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story?

(Yep, you bet there IS a moral!)

"When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks”

Answer 3

Two Blonde Guys were working for the city works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on the the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one guy digging a hole, the other guy filling it in again. An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn';t understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it......why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?'. The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-man team. But today the guy who plants the trees called in sick."

Answer 4

Man goes into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me 7 shots of Vodka." The bartender says, "Ok, but pal you are gonna hurt yourself with that." The many says, "Just pour them."

The man takes the first shot and the bartender says, "Hey, you want to talk about it?" The man says, "No!" and drinks the next 2 shots.

The bartender says, "Come on and tell me about it, I've got a good ear, that's why a lot of people come here, to tell their troubles."

The man, by then, has finished the 7 shots and says, "Ok, today was my first b!ow-job." The bartender says, "Hey, great! Have another one on the house."

The man says "No, if 7 doesn't get the taste out, nothing will!"

Answer 5

Once a day santa climb-up in building, which have 200 stories.

One of Santa's friend called him Banta your son has dead.

When he heard this he came soon early, but when he came down on 100 story then he remember, aree I have no son, and when he came on 50 story he remember, aee I m not married.

And when he came down on last story, then he remember his name is santa not a Banta.

Answer 6

Knock KNock. Who's there? Pizza. Pizza who? Pizza Mud Face!

Answer 7

4 Girls go into a strip bar, theres a guy striping, the first one goes up puts 20 dollars, the 2nd one goes up puts 40 dollars the 3rd one thought she was the best but down 50 dollars, the 4th one took out her wallet, took out a credit card swiped it down the guys butt crack and said "Baby give it all to me".
A funny saying:
Friends are like underwear always close to you, good friends are like condoms always protecting you, best friends are like viagra always holding you up when your down =).

Answer 8

there was a couple living in an apartment next to a gay .
one day the husband left home and when he came back his wife started crying . he said : what's wrong darling ?
the wife said : our neighbor came and ****** me when you left home . what should i do ?
the husband said : don't worry ! he always does the same to me when you're not home !!

Answer 9

Why did the stick of gum wear gold chains?
Because his closest friend was a wrapper.

Answer 10

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Hunting Flies" He responded.

"Oh!, Killing any?" She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females", he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"

He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone"