Have you ever saved the flowers from someones funeral?

Question

i have had these flowers in a vase for 3 years. i don't know why i keep them. i miss my brother alot. i take care of his daughter now. i was thinking about saving them in case she ever wanted them. they are all dry now of course. but why am i saving such a bad thing. and why would i save something so sad? i don't know if the baby would ever want these flowers. she never got to meet her dad. this is very hard and why cant i throw them away.? should I throw them away. i don't feel very strong right now.

Answer 1

Sweetheart, you don't HAVE to throw them away. There's nothing wrong with keeping them as a memento to your brother. I think, when your niece gets older, she will really appreciate the fact that you saved the flowers..partly, because of her.

I admire you honey, don't dare put yourself down...k? By the way, I have a rose from my grandpa's funeral in 1991...and I'll NEVER get rid of it.

Gentle hugs, Marilyn

Answer 2

How about downsizing the vase full of flowers. Take a small step and pick a few of the best preserved flowers. Press them in a special book and tuck the book away in a book shelf. You can later take the flowers out of the book and give them to your niece. You will still be able to hold onto some of the flowers without having to look at them daily. You may also want to call a grief counselor to share your feelings about your brother's death. Good luck.

Answer 3

It's hard losing a sibling. Harder than losing almost anyone else. Part of yourself seems missing. Been there, done that. Save the flowers. I save lots of things that belonged to my brother. Real stupid things. Flowers are a symbol of love and caring. Some day the baby will be all grown up.....about 11 these days....and will know some one loved her dad a whole lot. But it doesn't matter. You matter. And it isn't true that the only ones who survive are the strong. You'll be alright. As my grandmother use to tell me, "Today, just get through. Tomorrow will be better." It wasn't always true but I only had to get through one day at a time. Eventually it does get better, no matter what life throws at you. As Momma bat said to Baby bat, "Hang in there."

Answer 4

You should be well moved on right now, however people handle grief differently. Both of my grandmas died nearly 3 and 6 years ago also, I kept flowers from their funerals. I have a few of them on my window sill, and a few on the dashboard of my car. I've moved on from both of my grandmother's deaths, but I keep the flowers so that they will always know where I sleep, and where I am in the most danger (driving). My advice is to buy a nice little keepsake box, maybe a wooden box and place the dead and dried flower petals into it. Keep telling yourself to move on, and make yourself come to terms with the purpose of these flower petals that are in the keepsake box. They can serve the same purpose as my flowers. Your brother will always know where you and his daughter are (because now he is her guardian angel), and when she grows up, give them to her so that she will have something of sentimental value that is connected to him. And by keeping them in the box, it will keep them protected from being crushed or thrown away. I gaurantee you will feel much better about your situation.

Answer 5

That's interesting. Actually, I suggest that you throw them away bitterly and coldly. You have to realize that it is not disrespectful to your brother, but rather, represents you throwing off that weight of mourning his loss.

When my mother died, I had a similar problem like you have. I kept a lot of my mother's junk and one day, like you, I asked myself, why am I keeping this????

I took a whole bunch of her dishes and glasses to a junk yard and just lost my temper and started breaking them. It actually felt so good to let out those emotions.

The next day, I had an amazing dream of my mother and we were talking in a cafe and I was crying in the dream and asked her, "why did you have to go???" I can't remember her reply, but when I woke up, I felt so relaxed and at peace again. I think that was when my mourning officially ended.

Now I am happy that my mother's spirit exists in the memories I have of her.

I know you don't feel strong now. Anyone who has lost a loved one goes thru that pain. I can assure you that letting go is the toughest thing to do but always makes you stronger in the end when you do let go.

Don't worry about your brother, he loved you as best as he could and will always feel that way for you where ever his spirit resides. Take peace in that and let the good memories you have of him live inside your heart. Let those good memories make your heart stronger and you a better person.

Answer 6

Press the flowers or shrink wrap them. HIs daughter will appreciate how you tried to hold onto something for her, though I suspect they have been around more for you. 3 years is a long time to mourn. Try concentrating on his daughter and how much more she needs you in her life. She is the reminder of his life (not those flowers).

Answer 7

I saved flowers before, but I threw them away after a while. I think pictures, items that her father treasured (hat, shirt, etc) may be most important to keep and give to your niece. When she asks about him, tell her about how you two spent time together, bring up really funny and happy memories, cuz those one are less hurtful and they won't make you feel as sad.

Answer 8

When my grandfather died, we had an arrangement on his coffin with a yellow rosebud for each of his grandkids. After the funeral, each grandchild was given a yellow rosebud in a white box with a laminated copy of his obituary. That was 20 years ago and I still have mine.

Answer 9

I haven't saved any flowers, but I have taken a plant or two to remember them by.

Answer 10

no i dont think you should...this is something that you can use to help remember him by...i still have the flowers from my dad's funeral from 14 years ago...and everytime i look at them i think about all the good times i had with him