we have been broken up for several months since the break up we kept in contact 3 months ago ( we re not together) she tells me that when we get older we are going to look back at this and laugh and tell our grand kids about this. a few weeks later i lost contact with her because i needed some time alone then i contacted her and had a talk with her about gettin back together she told me she cant cuz she is scare (i m verbally abuse her, but i am seeking counseling for this illness) she told me i left an emotional scare in her which has not yet heal and plus her friends n family dont want me n her contacting each other she said she doesnt want to hide me if we were to get together. bottom line she s scare. in the meantime we will chat but she will play games and give me mix messages. when we get close she pushes me away and when i push away she pull me close. i havent spoken to her for 3 weeks. whats should i do? what does this all means?
help???? any suggestion will help thanks
2006-08-02 06:17:54 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i have been seeking help and still am i m taking anger management classes and i have much improve
2006-08-02 06:33:02 · update #1
If you love her leave her alone. You need professional counseling and until you learn how to fix yourself you can't love someone they way they should be loved.
2006-08-02 06:22:29 · answer #1 · answered by Aaron 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take a break. Seriously. Unless you are overly aggressive and she cant muster up the strength to just say no to you flat out because she still cares. Go do something with your spare time and look to others for help or suggestions about your abusive behavior. You may be doing it unconsciencly, maybe she has issues, maybe you all have a communication problem. There are a few factors you may want to explore here. Yourself being the number 1 priority.
2006-08-02 13:25:37 · answer #2 · answered by d_rekt03 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you relate to any of the pain that you caused her. If you are a verbal abuser you must know what it's like to be verbally abused.
Are you so quick to make nice-nice with your abuser?
Give her more space, back up and let her reclaim herself. You are not doing her any good right now. Don't contact her until you are finished with counselling. Talk to your counsellor about her too and work your way through you issues that run deep.
2006-08-02 13:24:40 · answer #3 · answered by machinator 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try reading the world's thinnest book, "Everything Men Know About Women". You had better concentrate on getting the better of your illness and acquire some maturity. Abuse can land you in prison these days; and verbal can lead into physical. Once you achieve stability many objections will vanish.
2006-08-02 13:24:39 · answer #4 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It probably means that she has feelings for you but knows that you aren't really good for her. She may be hoping you will change, but she's not so sure it will happen.
Verbal abuse is not an "illness." It's a character issue. How you speak to other people involves things like having patience and practicing self-control. It's time to stop pursuing this relationship for a while and work on becoming a man that she can be proud to present to her parents.
You need to learn and to practice what it means to be kind, considerate, gentle, appreciative, friendly, hard-working, generous, and so on. You need to become the kind of person who puts the needs of others (including your girlfriend) ahead of your own needs and desires.
Sit down and really examine yourself. What areas of your life and character do you need to change? Really work on those, and this girl is sure to see the difference. Since she seems to still care for you, she may still be waiting for you when you become a man who deserves her.
2006-08-02 13:28:04 · answer #5 · answered by happygirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means she has ambivalent feelings about you.
On the one hand, she doesn't want to be abused anymore.
On the other, she wants to believe you will change.
On the one hand, she envisions a future with you.
On the other, she sees the price as family alienation.
If she is convinced you will not abuse her anymore with the result that her family changes their minds about you, I think you have a shot at trying again.
If she does give you a second chance and you blow it, then you don't deserve her. Move on.
2006-08-02 13:27:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think her feeling for you are there but like you said you verbally abused her she's not sure she wants back into that kind of relationship sorry but if she's smart she'll stay away from you you need to keep getting the help that you need before you get into any relationship with anyone
2006-08-02 13:29:45 · answer #7 · answered by moonlight 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is used to you and misses you but does not want you...
Bottom line, continue counselling and if you love her a little bit, stay away from her until you are better.
2006-08-02 13:22:45 · answer #8 · answered by Incognito 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would guess you both push each other's negative buttons. If you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't make you feel like your best self, or if you can't do that for them, then best to be apart.
2006-08-02 13:23:02 · answer #9 · answered by Nefertiti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on...There is growth with every step you take and every person you meet. If you stay in the same spot you will become stagnet. Good luck
2006-08-02 13:23:46 · answer #10 · answered by Annie R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋