My 7 year old is mean and finds it funny?

Question

Right now I have my handsful with my 7 year old son. Out of all my 4 kids I never had much problems with them as my little boy who seems like he is 5 at times.

Many of the times I have to constant watch him and kids his age are calmer and are aloud to go to places on their own like to friends or parks.

Right now I don't feel ready for him Where my son always has to be watched when he plays indoors or outdoors, we do not allow him to go to a friends or to a park himself because of his mean behavior and starting a fight, or getting the neighbor mad because of him yelling a bad word to them as you can see I never get any rest. Even at bedtime I have a hard time. I usually have to shut off all the lights to get him to sleep or he'll be up late then I feel tiered and another busy filled day ahead. But When his father is at home hes a good boy, but with my husbands job, he is not at home much it gets a bit stressful as its hard to find a sitter and a good sitter to handle his behavior too or I will have a neighbour complainging your son did this and that.

And When he plays with other kids including his siblings he is mean and finds it funny and keeps fighting and will not stop. I always have to rescue someone with him trying to lay on them, kick them, jump on them or whatever. He lost friends beacause how he is like. He is nice too but a lot he finds everything funny when he is being mean. I think he has that I am a big boy tough image. I just hope he doesn't turn in to a bully or already is. I am trying very hard to get him out of this or it will be much worst.

I used many methods of discipline like timeouts, groundings, and taking things away. But I always have to battle with him for him to do them like putting him back in his spot and he just becomes meaner with hitting and saying I am not your son anymore or I hate you and I tell him I love you. Sometimes I have to hold him down or he'll hurt someone when he is mad or mad at me hurting a sibling.

I try to keep him busy by doing things but he has a short tension span. I try to read but he doesn't want to listion to the story sometimes. I even make him homemade play dough, taking him to the park, building with him, playing with his cars with him, and just show my full attention to him and sometimes I feel I give him more than my other kids itès a bit of a stressfull situation.

I will say though I try to use a calm voice and don't spank even if it edges me sometimes I try to stay calm. I feel guilty if I do try to spank and could have my neighbor's complain like calling Children Aids and all I am doing is trying my best to control my son. I have tried to spank a few times to see if it helps but all he does is laugh and finds it funny. But I've been thinking of taking him to my family doctor for some advice, maybe he will think I can not handle him but I try my best, but don't want him to go on any meds because of the problems I have heard about them.

This little man sure keeps me busy daily with all his energy.

Is there any suggestions.

Answer 1

It sounds like ADHD, perhaps combined with ODD... the problem with these behavioral conditions is that they all seem to blend in and very often they can mask other more serious disorders, such as bipolar disorder.

If he has ODD and you spank him it will likely just become a battle to see who gives in first, him or you. Frequently kids who are smart deliberately push the buttons needed to make you fall back into spanking because they perceive it as a victory for them over you. If they know that is your behavior "when all else fails" they will take the spanking to prove they can outlast you.

I have a nephew who is almost identical to how you describe your son... right down to when i babysit he is not permitted to engage in any activity where there is phyical contact because he just doesn't know when to stop. He can be a good, sweet child, but there is another side to him that is frightening. BTW, he is also 7. He acts out his ODD by always hiding things, his favorites being car keys and TV remotes. He has now graduated to petty vandalism and teasing other kids to the point of tears.

He has been diagnosed ADHD and ODD but my sister refuses to medicate him, despite the results of when he is on the meds.

My only suggestion for you is that if he hasn't been seen by your pediatrician SPECIFICALLY for his behavior, don't waste your time or his and have him seen. If he is diagnosed with one or more of the alphabet soup of disorders think hard about any treatment that includes medication. Then do what is best for you and your family. I have seen kids prosper onn the meds, I seen cases where they have no effect, and I've seen families loose years of their lives dealing with problems that effect everyone, and seen children with no school friends because of his untreated behavior.

Answer 2

It sounds like your son might ADD. If the doctor says no, then, he's just a little *sshole. As harsh as that may sound, it happens. My brother was the same way. Talk to your husband about the situation. He feels it's okay to act out when Dadd'y not home. Mommy is a pushover. Therefore, Mom, YOU have to get TOUGH. Spankings. When he misbehaves, wop his rear end. THEN send him to time out. And report each incident to his father, who will then WOP him again when he gets home. Make sure he KNOWS he's going to get wopped again when Daddy gets home too. Pain is the QUICKEST teacher in the world. Unless you have yourself a little sado-masochist. I never repeated the same mistake 2x when I was growing up. I've never been arrested or stolen anything. A liberal spanking NEVER did me any permanent harm, and taught me that there are CONSEQUENCES to improper actions. If parents disciplined their children today, we would not have HAD Columbine or other school tragedies. The children would have KNOWN better. "Spare the rod, Spoil the child."

Answer 3

He is that busy yet you found enough time to write all that. I'm sorry you have your hands full, but if he behaves when dad is home (was dad out of the picture with you raising the other kids?) then is this all because he feels dad abandoned him- maybe you need to talk with the father to see if there might be a way for the kids to see him more often- maybe if he travels to the same location more frequent than others, then maybe you could find a home there.

Answer 4

Sounds like one of two things. He is acting out to get attention or he has a form or ADD. I would talk to his doctor and maybe see a child psychologist. I would be a little skeptical of medicating the child right away, since more and more doctors are quick to diagnose ADD and give kids meds who don't need them. Good luck!

Answer 5

take him to dr. my son is 13 and started just like that. he started at about 2. he is adhd and anger/depression dont know what they call it but hes on meds now and helps alot if u dont do something it will only get worse and remember he gets bigger
good luck

Answer 6

Let's see, he's 7 years old and you are...? And you let a 7 year old run your life?

Grow a spine and raise your kid instead of coming on here bragging about your little devil.

Unreal.

Answer 7

Call nanny 911, or Beat him and don't tell doctor Phil

Answer 8

he either needs a GOOD spankin or he needs to be tested for ADHA. the way he is acking is a part of his growing up and he will grow out of it don't worrie. it's just a part of life

good luck

Answer 9

Be mean back to him. He will get an understanding of what it feels like.

Answer 10

o.k. you could always try to give him more attention because that's exactly how my brother acts and he is gonna be 7 this year.You could always let me baby sit him,you can't beat his butt he'll just like it so it wouldn't bother him same thing wuth grounding him and taking things away.Or you could just let his dad beat his butt more I bet you he would't like it then.