Im a single mother. Im 17 i had my lil boy when i was sixteen. My babys daddy and i were in the friends w/ benifits type of relationship. Then i fell in love w/ him and needles to say i got pregnet. When that happend we stop talking like we used to. And now i want to move on with my life. Its been 2 years since ived dated and i do really miss it. My son is now 7months old and im terrified of him calling somelse daddy. So what should i do? Im meeting all these really nice guys who whant to date but i dont know if i should?
2006-08-02 05:04:07 · 34 answers · asked by Lucy P 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
i tryed to date and got on some web sites to met people but it seems that some guys are repulsed to be dating a girl with a child. why?
2006-08-04 10:05:55 · update #1
My baby is my whole life im 100% devoted to him. People who dont know should judge. I love every second of being a mom even if i am young and i wouldnt change it for the world. But its tough!!! Ived been through so much. When i was 15 i got raped in my aparment where me and my famaly stayed. And five months later i got pregnant. Ever since then i dont know how to trust anyone and thats what im trying to do. Ived never had a male figure in my life and it feels bad that im not going to be able to give that to my son. By the way every guy that i meet i tell them up front that i have a son. Its not about sex!! Hell thats the last thing on my mind.
2006-08-04 10:28:49 · update #2
My baby is my whole life im 100% devoted to him. People who dont know shouldnt judge. I love every second of being a mom even if i am young and i wouldnt change it for the world. But its tough!!! Ived been through so much. When i was 15 i got raped in my aparment where me and my family stayed. And five months later i got pregnant. Ever since then i dont know how to trust anyone and thats what im trying to do. Ived never had a male figure in my life and it feels bad that im not going to be able to give that to my son. By the way every guy that i meet i tell them up front that i have a son. Its not about sex!! Hell thats the last thing on my mind.
2006-08-04 10:31:29 · update #3
Yes, you should date. Don't worry about what your son will call any boyfriends. Just teach him to call them "mike" or "tom" or whatever until later. Get busy dating!
2006-08-02 05:07:50 · answer #1 · answered by BonesofaTeacher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have plenty of time.
Question: do you want to date or do you want sex? Please don't confuse the too.
If its really dating that you want, take time and weigh your options. You are still young and already have a massive responsibility.
Theres other areas of your life you need to be working on. I say that because I was a single mother for 10 yrs. As a single mother there is always a lot of work to be done. 7 mos is hardly enough time to get everything in order.
After it becomes easier for you to juggle... school? work? your baby? external family? friends? home? and your own interests..start dating. Then you know you wont be rushing to the next best or worst thing.
Keep in mind many guys (especially those younger than 30) are just looking for sex or security and calling it love. Many wont be sexually, romantically and/or financially responsible... some wont even be mentally sound... it takes a while to figure that out and see the wolf in lambs fur.
Meaning you could end up raising another child solo, broken heart, or some terrible disease... Did you know many diseases can go around a condom?
Then again not many guys are family men anyhow...How would that affect your child?...some just say they are to get closer to you... and there are also some sicko's and abusers out there. So be very careful...and take your time.
I dont mean to scare you... but as a mother you should be vey alert and protective of yourself and your child. However, if you decide to date despite my advice... because its just advice. Go on several dates without baby and without sex. Then introduce your baby and see how they interact. If he seems a lil uneasy be wary and if he's too quick to play daddy watch out.
Your baby is a part of you and every single decision you make will effect both of you from now until eternity.
2006-08-02 05:27:38 · answer #2 · answered by tiera29 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not be exempt from dating because you have a child, but you need to remember the whole point of dating for most people is to eventually find a mate. You are on a different page in life now than these boys, and you do not want to end up in the same situation again. This is a matter of opinion, but I would concentrate on my studies until I was the age when one is actually looking to settle down. You do not need to bring diffferent boys into your son's life right now. That will be very confusing. I would also recommend that when you date, you do not let them meet your son for quite some time, or until it is serious. "Dating" doesn't mean "Daddy"! There is no reason why these boys need to have a relationship with your son, unless they are planning on marrying you.
2006-08-02 05:13:27 · answer #3 · answered by alone1with3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dating is fine. Do not bring all of these men into your childs life.
I am 26. I had my son when I was 17. The relationship with my sons father was the same as yours. My son is now 9. I didn't marry his father and I'm glad.
I did, however, rush into another relationship. When my son was 1 I got engaged. I've been married now for 7 years. I wouldn't suggest that to anyone! Being a single mom will not be easy but you can do it. Live your life for you and your child. Take the time to figure out what you would like in a relationship. I wish I had.
2006-08-02 05:11:47 · answer #4 · answered by dolphin2253 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm also a single mother. I started dating when my son was 10 months old, BUT he never met any of them. Because my relationship with the guy hadn't reached the point of being serious.
When I did date a guy that I knew we were serious enough for him to meet my son, who was 2 years old . We went to kid friendly place so the focus wasn't on the the guy and my son but instead my son playing having fun, etc. And he interacted that way with my son, it worked out well.
Your son isn't going call anyone else daddy if you are doing it correctly and aren't every guy meet your son.
Your dating life will have to be separate from your son. But make sure the guys understand your FIRST priority is your son.
And don't let any guy get in the way of that
Good luck
2006-08-02 05:16:18 · answer #5 · answered by ktwister 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing take your time before jumping into a relationship where your son will be seeing another guy and then calling him daddy and things don't work out for ya'll.
My son is 5 years old and I am not dating, I have 2 friends (guy) I talk to on the phone when bored, we don't hang out. But for some reason I feel like if I meet a new guy I don't want my son meeting him no time soon because I feel like that is disrespecting my son. Yeah he know his father but his father stay in jail. I am 21 feel your pain.
2006-08-02 13:22:17 · answer #6 · answered by 2Hott2Touch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, start dating. You have control on what your son chooses to call the men in your life. I wouldn't bring any man around your son until you know for sure that you want a relationship with him. Of course you can tell the guy all about your son, don't hide him. But you shouldn't let him get close without knowing if hes going to stick around. Your son still has a daddy, that will always be his daddy. Make sure he stays involved its his responsibility too!! Good Luck , Be Safe and Have Fun!
2006-08-02 05:22:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's going to happen when all those "really nice guys" find out you have a baby?
It's true that if you don't tell any of them upfront that you'll get some dates. But one it's discovered that a baby is in your life, most, if not all, will avoid you like the plague. They'll assume you're trying to find a daddy for your baby, no matter how much you try to convince them otherwise. Guys that young (I'm assuming young) don't want that kind of committment.
See what happens when you become a teenage mother?
Sorry, I don't mean to be harsh, but there comes a price for your folly. In this case, it's your social life!
2006-08-02 05:16:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all if the baby's father is not in his life well you can't worry about your baby calling someone else daddy. If I were in your shoes I would date your entitle to that but I would not let my child meet who I date till I know for sure that it's a serious realtionship. Now you have to worry about your babies life too not just yours. You dont' want him to be all confuse by him meeting all your boyfriends. Babies and young kids get attached very easily specially if they don't have a male figure in their lives. I have a few friends who let their kids meet their boyfriends and b/f you know it they were calling them daddy and then they will break up and the child is left wondering what happen. Good luck.
2006-08-02 05:13:57 · answer #9 · answered by Strawberry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am dating a guy with children. Occasionally we will all spend time together. When that happens, we do not touch each other or act as a girlfriend and boyfriend would. We act like friends.
We do not involve the children in our relationship. I am their father's friend, and my name is Miss (first name). Children do not need to know the details of your relationship. Children know who their parents are, and may occasionally slip and call your "friend" Dad, you just say no honey that's Mr.Mike. They will not continue to call anyone Dad unless they are taught to do so.
I think that it is very responsible of you to try and determine how you should handle dating in your situation. Your son is in good hands. I think most people do involve their children in their relationships, and every person that comes through their life is presented to the child as some form of relative or other, and I think that that is confusing to a kid. Especially when children get attached to their soon to be replaced "mom" or "dad". Mom and Dad are supposed to be forever. Mr.Brian or Miss Angie can be too busy to come see us right now.
Good luck
2006-08-02 05:25:04 · answer #10 · answered by niffer's mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not every man you date will be a keeper so don't introduce him to your son until you've dated him for three to four months. That doesn't mean not to tell the date about your son - this is just so that you're not bringing men into your son's life who will be transitory. This means you have to be an adult. If you plan to have sex early on, make sure your son is gone for the night. Your first and foremost responsibility is for your sons mental well-being. Treat him with the respect he deserves but realize you're a healthy woman and you deserve happiness as well. Good luck.
2006-08-02 05:10:17 · answer #11 · answered by Lex 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋