I had a miscarriage over at the weekend and need advice!?

Question

I was 12 weeks pregnant but had a miscarriage over the weekend and sadly my bf graham couldnt be there to help me through as he's been in hospital due to a car crash a week before. I haven't told him whats happened yet as I don't want to put anymore pressure/stress on him that he already has.
I want to tell him soon, but don't really know how to tell him. Any suggestions would be great.

xxx

Answer 1

Ray M Be - You are a complete jerk wad!


Meeko-
Very sorry for your loss. You do need to tell him soon, you don't need to carry this burden by yourself. I had a miscarriage two months ago and it was the saddest time of my life. You have to know there was nothing you did or could have done to change the outcome. Unfortunately, this is what our bodies do when the baby can't survive outside of the womb. Grieve as long as you need to grieve, don't let anyone rush you. You will be very sad for a while, but the pain will lessen over time. You will always hold a special place in your heart for your angel baby. Plant a tree or do something special in memory of your child. Name your baby because it is hard to mourn for a child with no name. You will go through stages of your mental recovery first will be deep sadness and confusion, then anger and finally acceptance. Know all of our babies are watching over each other until the day we join them. As far as what to tell your boyfriend, I don't think there will be an easy way to tell him. Tell him what comes from you heart. You know him well and when the time comes to tell him you will know what to say. Don't be surprised if he does not mourn as you the mother would. Men do not understand the connection between mother and child even if that child was never born. Don't be too hard on him if he doesn't, just make him understand how you feel. I will attach some websites that helped me and I hope will help you. They may even have a section on how to tell loved ones about a miscarriage. I wish you all best in the future. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. God bless.

Answer 2

I had a miscarriage last September. It was very sad but I knew that it happened because the baby was not healthy enough to survive. For my husband and myself, it wasn't pressure or stress. It actually brought us closer together as we comforted each other. Telling Graham might help him to take his focus off of his injuries from the car crash.
PS. Have faith in the future...I am now 35 weeks pregnant with twins! When everything is right, it will happen!
Smile,
KB

Answer 3

i am so sorry to hear of your lose and that you had to go through this alone. As for your boyfriend as well. This must be a very difficult time for you right now.
I want you to know that yes he is going through alot right now and to tell him now will be hard but you need to do it soon. He may cry and be upset but he also maybe worring about you and the baby he thinks that you are still carrying. He probably is wondering how you are doing? just tell him be calm and very put together when you tell him....it will take sometime to register for a moment but it will help to get this conversation over with soon.


So that you both can move on and get better..... a sure him that it was no ones falt like stress or just worrying ....tell him that is was natures way of saying that your body wasn't ready yet to have a baby and that is so sad but that it might be because there will be some challanges a head that you both need to go through before having a child....remember it was now ones falt and that you want him to know that it was hard going through that alone but that you are doing well and you wanted him to not worry.....you will both be okay........................................................

.......and just get each other through both of these things ....with support and love....and a from there you will grow stronger and have a larger strength than before ...that you both now how to look out for each other and that you are both strong...best wishes and i hope every thing from here go's better for you......................good luck...........................

Answer 4

So sorry to hear of your problems, things aren't goin too good at the moment. Your boyfriend isn't going to attach any 'blame' to you for the misscarriage & he will be as disapointed as you over it. The fact that he is i n hospital may also have put you under extra stress & contributed to whats happened but at the end of the day all things happen for a reason. Just be glad that he is on the mend (hopefully) & that you are OK & when you are both up & about again things wont look half so bad. Theres always tomorrow as they say & I am sure that everything will be OK in time. Good luck to both of you

Answer 5

LWow, you're going through alot all at once.
I think it is honorable for you to be so selfless in thinking about your boyfriend's condition. I am sorry you didnt have him there when you miscarried. You must be a strong woman.
Without knowing his condition, I would suggest you tell him as soon as you can. He needs to know too.
Perhaps when he is able to talk and listen and he's in stable condition. Just start talking about other things let him talk a bit and sort of feel out the right timing.
Waiting too long to tell him could be more devastating to him than telling him too soon. It is his baby too.
Again, I am sor sorry for your loss and your bf's car crash.

Answer 6

He is probably more stressed out trying to figure a way to be there for you during the pregnancy instead of a hospital. Sit down and tell him, you can't do this alone. And I seriously doubt telling him will add to his stress or pressure. Something as important as this shouldn't wait too long. Wish you both well.

Answer 7

Oh you poor girl, i feel for you. I had a miscarriage 12 years ago, its very hard to cope with especially when your alone, i really think you should tell your boyfriend he has been through alot recently by the sounds of it, but he should know. Plus you can deal with it together then, hope it works out for you i really do.

Answer 8

I'm very sorry for you loss. You seem to be handling this well. This is something that should be approached very delicately, these things are never easy, but just explain what happened and be there for each other so you can get through this.

It might be a good idea to see a grief counselor. They can be very helpful in times like these.

Take care of yourselves...

Answer 9

just tell him. its a difficult situation but the sooner he knows the better it will be. two weeks before my husband left for Iraq we found out we were pregnant and both of us were so excited, it was perfect timing because he was going to be back a little more than a month before the baby was due. about two months later i had a miscarriage ( my doctor said ts because of all the stress hormones in my body) it was so hard because i wasn't able to call him to tell him and he doesn't really get a chance to check his email. i ended up mailing him a letter with a box of his favorite cookies. he got the letter two weeks later and he was allowed to call me and the whole conversation was him apologizing and blaming himself cause he had to leave. it sucked but when he came back we tried again to have a baby and he didn't have to go anywhere and no we have a beautiful little girl named makala

Answer 10

I went through a miscarriage about 1 year ago. If you really love eachother, then you really need to be honest. Don't feel like your a burden to him, because it won't make you feel any better. There is no easy way to begin things, just sit him down and talk it out. Good luck