s, then i met her just under 2 years ago. She told me after about 6 months on a drunken night out and i thought nothing of it. Problem is he is still a close family friend and we see him loads (We live together &near her dad) and its driving me crazy. She wants to get married but he would have to be there for her dads sake as no one knows it ever happened! its eating me up inside, she agrees she wouldnt put up with it, so why should i?!?! any advice?
2006-08-02 03:41:41 · 11 answers · asked by cjdyson9 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Yeah I thinkyou have to not worry about him - they broke up, it was before you were on the scene and your girlfriend has chosen you now.
As for having ex's at weddings well why not? I fully expect that when me and my partner have our handfasting there will be at least one ex from each side, they have become good friends now. At the very least you should be magnanimous in victory if you can't be friends with this guy - imagine how he must be feeling letting such a wonderful women get away! Invite him, if he still has feelings he might find an excuse not to attend. If he does then he wants to support someone he once cared very much for and now has a long standing friendship with on the happiest day of her life - what could be nicer?
2006-08-02 05:17:33 · answer #1 · answered by Leapling 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think that there are two issues here.
The first is, do you trust your girlfriend? Why does being around this guy bother you so much? Is there any possible way to avoid him? I just mean that maybe there are some unresolved issues there. If you feel like the guy is flirting with your girl, I can understand why that would upset you. But if you really trust your girlfriend and she is not flirting back, I think that you should try to find a way to get over it (easier said than done, I know!).
The second thing seems to be that you wouldn't want him at the wedding. Of course that's understandable!! No one wants an ex at a wedding. Well....most people don't. The problem is that there is no real way around it. I mean consider the options. Either she can tell everyone about the affair, which would open up so many more problems, or she can just not invite him and risk her whole family being upset with her because they don't understand.
There is one other solution to this problem - you could elope. Maybe tell JUST your parents and have a tiny ceremony. Even if you end up having a larger reception later on, at least the serious, emotional part of it was able to take place without him there.
I'm sorry you are in such a bad position and I hope you are able to work it out!
2006-08-02 04:19:44 · answer #2 · answered by ykokorocks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you have to put up with the guy for her family's sake shouldn't be such an issue.
Obviously she's not into him anymore and you should be thrilled she wants to marry you! We all have to put up with things that we don't like for the sake of politics, whether it be at work or at home.
2006-08-02 04:05:24 · answer #3 · answered by Littlegreydevil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's the problem? You and her weren't together so it's not like she cheated on you. She didn't have to mention it, would you feel the same if she told you after you were married? If she wanted him she'd still be with him and not with you. I hope that's the worst thing you ever have to stress about.
2006-08-02 23:16:12 · answer #4 · answered by Mohawk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was before you met her. You can't control what she did before you met her. As long as you know she is no longer interested in him why should it matter. Don't let this eat you up or you could end up breaking up with her and losing the potential "love of your life" because of a guy she knew years ago.
2006-08-02 03:50:37 · answer #5 · answered by Gypsie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's been honest with you maybe you should learn to live with it.
Everyones got ex's. Get with the program and marry that girl!!
2006-08-02 03:48:26 · answer #6 · answered by tuthutop 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An ex is an ex. Have you seen "Meet the Fockers"? At least he wont be conducting the ceremony.
2006-08-02 08:20:41 · answer #7 · answered by ribena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like she has moved on and that you should to. It was in her past. she was being honest with you and you need to take that as a sign of her honesty and faithfulness to you.
good luck and MARRY HER!
2006-08-02 05:23:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rest assured..if you are true about your & you trust her, i think that should not be a problem but still if you have any kind of insecurity ,then you should talk to her & get it out of your system....
2006-08-02 03:48:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
as long as she's being honest with you.the you should marry her.cause every one has done something in there passed that there not pround of.
2006-08-02 03:53:15 · answer #10 · answered by Angel sent from heaven 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋