dying single?

Question

i am very scared of dying alone, i am 26 now & have never had a girlfriend for the simple fact that every girl i ask out rejects me, im a gorgeous guy, but im very laid back & ive heard that girls hate that in a guy. 2 of my close friends commited suicide this year because they never found any by the age of 35. i dont want to die aswel. i go out all the time, yet girls keep giving me the cold shoulder at the clubs, i dont want to die single. what do i do?

Answer 1

Your story touches my heart. I'm 44, female, divorced twice and still trying to find that certain someone. Don't let thoughts of suicide creep into your mind - there is no point in being self destructive. I am also very laid back but I don't think that is a problem. Most of my friends are men but when we try to go beyond the friendship level things get screwed up for some reason. Maybe your are looking in the wrong places, I quit going to clubs because anymore, it is just a meat market. Have you ever considered looking elsewhere? The grocery store, laundromat, church or internet? You sound like a pretty nice guy and being gorgeous should be a big plus not a hindrance. Are you setting your expectations to high? Are you judging women by the way they look instead of the way they are inside? Exterior beauty will fade over time and if you are looking for a life time of happiness you need to consider what is inside the package because that is what you will be loving and spending the rest of your life with. It has taken me a lot of heartache to realize that but at least now I know what I am seeking and I have a clearer picture of what I need in my life. I think you should sit down with your heart and write down what you want and need in a realtionship. Be completely honest with yourself. Try to think of the long term effects - like who cares what you look like when your 75 years old, will you be happy? Will you still be in love after a lifetime? None of us want to die alone so don't give in to the insanity of suicide. You will be robbing yourself of your future and someone elses.

Answer 2

I think if more people were brave enough to admit it, they are too!!

The fact that two of your friends committed suicide, must have had a very traumatic impact on your psyche and emotions.
I don't know how I would cope with that and it's bound to add to your anxiety. I can't pretend I know what your friends must have been feeling to feel that low and dejected enough to kill themselves, but I have an inkling..

I've had a ton of heartbreaking stuff happen to me this last year and it left me unable to open up or trust anyone. Is that what's going on for you perhaps? And maybe the `laid back' thing, is really a clever defense mechanism for the fact that you feel extremely vulnerable and letting anyone in, scares the flamin' pants off you? So you put out signs - `don't come near me', even if unintentionally, yet inside your screaming for someone to be really kind and interested in you. I think belief is also a big factor.

That's altogether a real toughy but don't be put off and what happened to your friends doesn't mean you're not strong enough to see things change for the better for you.

Answer 3

If you're a gorgeous guy and the women reject you then your personality must need some work.
Are you confident yet not cocky?
Are you kind and respectful to women?
Do you take the opportunity to ask a woman out for dinner or even ask her to dance at the club.
Are you seriously looking for a relationship or just for sex?

Examine yourself and see if you can offer the things that a lady is looking for.
Kindness, integrity, honesty and respect go a long way.

Answer 4

First you need to get some self esteem I'm sure if that's not the problem then your standards are way too high stop looking for a supermodel for a girlfriend and give plain Jane a chance and who knows you might find your soul mate just by being open minded

Answer 5

1st of all get rid of the suicide thoughts, ull be more confident. Also a relationship takes time, dont rush into things most girls hate that. Try to be laid back in everything but the relationship, then she'll know that u care about it.

Answer 6

I don't think laid back guys are bad. Maybe you just aren't looking at the right kind of girls. Maybe you should try a different group. but you shouldn't kill yourself because you haven't found anyone yet. Love only happens unexpected when you can't see or find it. So maybe you shouldn't try so hard.

Answer 7

Mr. Chivalry says, "Think this way. If you take yourself out, you may miss out on an opportunity that was five minutes from happening. You might be in the wrong vicinity. There are women out there that dig your persona. You just haven't crossed them. Also, don't try to impress anyone by changing who you are. The right girl is out there for you. Where is she? I wish I could tell you. Good luck to you."

Mr. Chivalry has spoken.

Answer 8

what exactly is your outlook on life? for me, extremely "laid-back" means no goals, desires, wants, etc. what are your goals in life? if you have none, that would explain some things; such as not being confident in how you present yourself. if you do not care about anything how can you seriously care for someone else?
the dating world is hard and cruel. but do not give up!! sometimes you have to keep trying. the whirlwind of my life (my beautiful and sarcastic (love u!) princesa) was not someone who noticed me at first, but it is amazing what you can find out about someone by just talking to them!!
good luck guy. know what it is that you want in life then worry about sharing it with someone!!

Answer 9

you dont have to die if you dont want to, you know?

Not having any girlfriend is not a valid reason to kill yourself.
Maybe that's one of the reasons why girls don't like you. quit whining. Do something productive in your life or get a hobby or something.

Answer 10

im a strong believer in waiting 4 the right time... get out and have fun and when u met the one everything will b perfect but until then have fun! :) good luck...
p.s ur only young...