ok I need some help!!!?

Question

My neice has some serious problems going on in her life. But the one that im most concerned about is her being 16 and trying to get pregnant. She does have a boyfriend he's 18 and has a job in construction and will be going to school in the fall. He is already looking for an apartment for them to live in after they get married. She is a Jr in high school and is one of the top students. She feels that she will be able to manage school work and raising a child as well as hold a part time job since the childs future father supports her descision 100 percent. I have tried to talk her out of it but you know kids they dont listen so i was soliciting help to see if someone else could help me think of ways to show her the right way.

well we could have called the cops on statutory rape a few months earlier but however since she is 16 statutory rape dosent apply to them. She also figures since he graduated high school and will only attend classes on some evenings that makes it alright for her to have free time any other night. She wants to get pregnant after her school starts and have the baby around the summer time. By doing that she figures that the baby will be old enough for day care once she goes back. I dont even think she realizes wht day care costs. But being realistic i realize that she will most likely have kids before she gets into her 20's so is there any way to tell her to atleas wait until her high school graduation. I think her wanting kids so badly comes from the fact that she is an only child and loves her little cousins so much. If only she knew she couldnt send them back whenever she felt like it

Answer 1

Sounds like you are a supportive aunt and your concerns are serious ones!

While your niece sounds book-smart she is probably too young and inexperienced to be planning a pregnancy and wedding while still in hugh school!

I would show her that you value her desires and respect her by listening to her ideas.

Encourage her to plan for her future - an apartment - marriage - whatever. Let her know that these are all decisions only she can make however almost everything can be reversed or taken back BUT NOT babies! Once she has a baby that's a lifetime commitment.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 2

Mann! She needs to help out at a shelter. Or see first-hand
what it's like to try to support a family on minimum wage. Show
her all the answers...

First of all, the odds that a teen marriage will work are about
as good as lightening striking twice. People don't know who
they are and what they want until they're mid-twenties.

If you throw in adult problems, i.e. rent, kids, no education,
jobs, not enough $$, car probs, etc... see ya. The one who
gets truly hurt here is the child. - and I don't mean the 16 year
old child... but I guess that's what this is all about. Children
having children.

I'll bet she can't even handle the responsibility of a puppy,
let alone a child. She needs to go to therapist or life counselor.
I'll bet she won't admit to her school counselor that she just
wants to get pregnant and give up her ideas of college and
bettering herself.

Mann! Getting pregnant right now will be like winning a non-stop
flight to NOWHERE. If she wants a better life for her and her future children, she should stay in school- go to college where
she can get a degree and meet other people who aren't stuck.

If her boyfriend truly loves her, he'll support her in that decision
100%. If not, he's just afraid of losing her- or that she'll see him
for the loser that he is.

Answer 3

Realise, auntie, that she's gonna do whatever she wants anyway, and the only real thing you can do is pray that she change her mind. There is a reason for this decision on her part, and it starts at her home, so look to your in-laws for clues as to why she might be doing this and then go at it from there.

Are they neglectful? Are they abusive? Are they apathetic? Are they too indulgent? Are they just regular hard-working folk who have done everything they can do for their children in order to give them the best in life? Whatever the reason, there is a reason and there is a way to combat it.

Mention to your neice that at 16 her body is not done growing yet, and that the real measure of adulthood is not what you can do with your body, but what you can do with your mind.

Tell her that you have no doubt that she will be a great mommy, but part of being a great mommy is giving up mommy's wants and needs for baby's wants and needs, and baby's needs are to have a father, an established home, a support network, and a mommy and daddy who cares more about that baby's need for those things more than mommy's and daddy's need to have those things.

You can also tell her that playing house is a lot different than having and keeping a house. If she's gonna go through with this plan, then there's no reason not to get married now. If you're not going to wait to have a baby, why wait to get married?

Ultimately she's going to do what she wants.

Answer 4

Another typical sixteen year old, thinking they can handle it all. For the most part, she's not going to listen, I am sure you have done everything you can and said everything you could say. If I were you, I would maybe try to take her down into some neighborhoods that weren't the best and let her see how she can live. Let her see some of your bills, everything cost so much! Also, her bf can go to jail, does she know that? How does the mom feel? If she doesn't know, I would tell her. We have all been her age before and for the most part, thought the same thing she thinks, so good luck with this one! You can always forbid her to see her bf, but that could back fire also.

Answer 5

Very Serious Situation. Needs careful handling of the subject. Make her understand that raising a child is not an easy affair. The concentration will be devided at three places (Husband, Child and School / Part time job). Husband will not help in raising the child after days long work. I am sure he will not leave the female partner to sleep before sexual intercourse with her. Are they out of their mind. They should understand this. What they are trying to do or achive???????

Answer 6

How stupid can the young folks be? Once the child is born, there won't be any time for school or anything else until the child is able to be let out to play --you need to take her to a nursery where the children of working mothers stay and let her work there for a day to see how busy young mothers are going to be. It would be a lot easier on her and them if they waited until she graduates to marry and bear children. The social stigma of being pregnant in school will be hard to bear and may cause her problems academically.
Tell her to put a cork in it.

Answer 7

For me for my part, I consider that men will have to be equipped to put on speedos in the event that they wish to. There is the colossal stigma within the United States in opposition to speedos. I do not rather fully grasp why. Are you going to get a couple of bizarre appears while dressed in them, yeah. But do not allow that discourage you. Wear what you're so much secure in. If that is speedos, quality. If that is board shorts, cool. Wear what you think probably the most secure in and do not allow anybody else difference your brain.

Answer 8

I seen a program on TV.. .think it was Maury that had the teen take care of a doll that would mimic a real live baby - I think it really helped some of the teens rethink the situation. Look on his website, maybe there's something there.

Answer 9

Your niece really needs to stop and get priorities in order. I'm not saying she is wrong but, I have been in similiar shoes and YES it is hard.... You always think you can do all this. Do you have someone who could talk to her about all the responsibilties of being a: Wife, mother and trying to get education on top of that... Sure he supports her now...It hasn't happended, but she needs to thiink about it, when you get married things change....Education should be priority #1, then think of what she really wants for her future.

Answer 10

well, depending on where you live, have her parents call the cops and charge him with statutory rape. you can also have them take her drivers license away since she is still a minor. she needs to understand that she's never going to go back to school and she's never going to make more than minimum wage and when he leaves her with the kid then they are both just screwed.