I would like to have a baby but I'm terrified to have morning sickness & to go thru labor & delivery PLZ help!

Question

I am 34 and really want a baby but I'm terrified I'll get morning sickness bad and am scared of bad labor and delivery. I do not deal well with pain and worried an epidural won't work for me. I just got married in March 06 and my hubby would like a baby as well. He's more gung ho than me since I have to carry and deliver the baby. Can anyone offer advice on how not to be so terrified and to just do it? Just thinking about being pregnant makes me want to throw up from nerves. I know I'm silly but I get very nervous about "major" things like this. PLEASE HELP.

Answer 1

i was scared to but didnt think about all the time. i just took one day at a time. think about the good things that will come out of it like, holding your baby for the first time, shopping and buying for the baby and of course waiting for their first word, first, step etc. trust me i had it bad both times but its all worth it at the end. good luck!

Answer 2

Honestly, I was nervous, too. (I am 27 and gave birth to my son in June 2005.) I am a complete wuss and don't deal well with pain and discomfort. Even though pregnancy and childbirth are natural, it doesn't mean women don't get nervous. Here are some things to remember:

Keep in mind that not all pregnant women get 'morning sickness'. If you are scared of the nausea and vomiting, you should know there are a couple of completely safe meds you can take while pregnant to help with this (any good OB will know what they are). Also, vitamin B6 helps reduce nausea...I took vitB6 'cause I don't like prescriptions.

Talk to an anesthesiologist before getting pregnant, to see what the likelihood is of an epidural not working for you...it's a very rare occurrence. Also, the anesthesiologist can outline your options as to pain medicinal pain management.

If you are definitely set against natural labor, you can consider having a C-section. (Some insurance plans won't cover a scheduled C-section, though, so be aware.)

If, like me, you feel natural childbirth is the best for the baby (with or without an epidural), talk to your OB and a licensed childbirth educator. They should explain anything you don't understand about pregnancy and childbirth, as well as help allay your nervousness about the pain.

Please, realize it's NOT silly to be nervous about pregnancy...it's natural, and some would say it's normal. Talk to your husband about your apprehensions, because you will be in this together when you get pregnant and he might be able to help you be less nervous. If you feel your nervousness about childbirth is totally off the charts, you can see a counselor to discuss how to lessen it.

Also, remember you just have to take pregnancy one day at a time. It's not all going to happen overnight, and you will have some time to adjust and ecucate yourself about the different stages. Some medical centers have pre-pregnancy and pregnancy support groups where parents-to-be get to talk with others in the same boat.

Finally, if you are too scared of being pregnant and delivering a baby, consider adpoting. Seriously, if you want to be a parent, but aren't of the mindset that you have to give birth to be a great parent, and you don't think you can handle pregnancy, it's a viable option. There are so many children and babies in the world who need love.

If it helps, the way I got over being nervous was not to think about getting pergnant. I knew if we did IT, eventually I would get pregnant. Then when I saw my positive test, my pregnancy was real and happening and I was less afraid. I could no longer overthink what it would be like, and I took it (pregnancy and nerves) day by day.

Answer 3

Talk to your ob/gyn. unfortunately, there's not much you can do about it. Not all people get morning sickness, and if you do, it rarely lasts longer than a couple of months. But there is no way to tell if you will or not or how severe it will be. Labor hurts! There's no bones about it, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. (:-) What you have to do is decide whether you want a baby bad enough to deal with what goes along with it. If you do, suck it up, and go for it. If you are that scared about it, don't do it. Remember, the side effects of pregnancy are nothing compared to the joys (and pains) of having a child. If you are so scared of morning sickness and labor you are thinking of not having a child, you're probably not mentally and emotionally ready, for when you are, those "little" things won't matter. Labor hurts, but it doesn't last forever (even if it seems like it during the process) but the love of your child will be for a lifetime. good luck!

ps. dont believe you wont remember the pain, my son is 14 1/2 and i remember all 28 1/2 hours of labor. does that mean i regret my decision to have him, or love him any less? NO! I just remind him of what he put me through! it's become a family joke! :-)

Answer 4

I got pregnant at 18. Talk about scared. But, I managed. If I can, so can you. With my first, I didnt' have morning sickness at all. Some women get it, and others don't. I wouldn't worry too much about that. There's stuff you can try to get rid of the sick feeling.
The labor and delivery: Yes, very painful. But how in the Hell do you think that women have more than one kid? Because they know that yes, you will be in pain for those hours that you are in labor, and delivering that beautiful baby, but then it is over. And you have a wonderful son or daughter to take home with you. I am 21 (today) and 7 months pregnant with my second child, a daughter. It is a wonderful feeling to feel her rolling and kicking inside me, even if it does get too hot or painful sometimes, it IS WORTH IT! Good luck

Answer 5

Relax! I've had 3 children, and it is a major thing to go through. But it is the most wonderful experience! There is nothing in the world like it! The labor and delivery part of course seems scary, but when it comes down to it, it needs to be done and you do it. It's really not that bad with everything that is available to a woman these days. And at the end of it all, you'll have this amazing little person that you're gonna love more than you ever could have imagined loving anyone. I say go for it! Good Luck!

Answer 6

i was terrified when i found out i was pregnant (i was 19) bc i just dont handle pain very well...but then i figured if 15 year old girls could do it i could too. And the morning sickness....yea it sucks but for me it was really bad for a week and then the rest of the first trimester i was getting sick but maybe just once or twice a day...and you get used to it after the first week or two so its like nothin...but it went away for me around my 5th month when i got to find out what i was having! the epidural is awesome...highly recommeded! It wont wear off bc they continually give you drops (like an iv)....it works great...its getting it in that made me nervous but afterwards i felt like i was in heaven bc i had no more pain and could get some rest.....the pain isnt as bad as they make it seem on movies....thats what i was expecting....i dont handle pain and i didnt even shed a tear until an hour and a half after my water broke...the nurses said i must handle pain well (haha yea right) but dont worry about it and just do it! your 34 its now or never! once you do it and have your baby you ask yourself why you didnt do it years ago! good luck and dont worry!

Answer 7

Unfrotionatly the side effects are a nessacery evil. If you wnat the baby ya gotta have the rest. As for the pain and the epidural you don't remember it. I remember that it hurt but I don't remember the pain. The epidural was wounderful I was numb from my nose to my toes. I had a horrible delivery and a not so fun prenancy but it was all worth it to have my boy. he is the best thing that I've ever done in my life and i wouldn't chage him even if it ment that I wouldn't have to go through what I did to get him. Just remember that all that dicomfort and all the pukeing and all the other stuff leads to a wounderful little person that is part you and part your hubby. to me iit was all WELL worth it.

Answer 8

i was so sick during pregnancy, i could not do a thing except sit around. then i felt bad, because i couldn't clean the house or cook everyday. i heard this on the radio.....

a husband comes home from working all day, and finds his wife ( who's 6 months pregnant) laying on the couch. the house is a huge mess. there's trash and clothes, thrown everywhere. he looks at her and says "baby, what did you do all day?"
she look at him and replies "honey, I didn't do a thing except make a lung!"

it doesn't really matter, if you get morning sickness, or even if labor is the worst pain of your life. when you see your new little baby, it was all worth it. good luck

Answer 9

pregnancy can be horrible and others can be good .If you don't have a child soon you will be in the age where there are higher risks for and easier to have complications with your pregnancy.Pregnancy isn't all that bad once you have gone through your pregnancy, really the only pain is delivery as you are giving birth to your child. It is such a joyful moment everyone forgets about it and does it all again in 1 year to 2 year later.

Answer 10

okay well first of all... JUST DO IT!~~YOUR BIOLOGICAL CLOCK IS TICKING. iF U AND YOUR HUSBAND WANT A FAMILY.please dont waste time, you are a woman. many many woman, hell... most woman were terrified when they got pregnant , and u are married. why not? i didnt have morning sickness, just slight nausea from time to time in my first trimester. my pregnancy was wonderfull, i too was terrified of giving birth, and altho i wouldve absolutely loved to go natural, i couldnt handle the lower back pain, i was given the epidural.. just do what is best for you. but decide real soon. the older you get, the higher your chances are of complications. Soon! best of luck on your future family :)

Answer 11

I say don't plan for it, just have unprotected sex and see what happens. This way, you wont stress yourself out with all of the planning and things will just happen naturally. I am 26 weeks pregnant and aside from swollen feet have not had any negative symptoms of being pregnant, so you may not either. I don't know about the labor part yet, but ask me in November and I will let you know, lol. Seriously, the more you stress out about it, the worse it will be for you, so just let things happen as they will and if you do get pregnant, count it as a blessing and just relax. Good luck!