my next door neighbour has a very stressed 3yr old can anyone suggest anything to help calm her down abit?

Question

Her 3yr old is also starting nursery soon and she does'nt know if she will cope or not by her self at nursery.

Answer 1

COPING STRATEGIES
It is not necessary to be a therapist to help children cope with stress. One key element in reducing stress is a stress-free environment. A stress-free environment is based on social support, having the ability to find hope by thinking through solutions, and being able to anticipate stress and learn ways to avoid it.


SOCIAL SUPPORT
Social support means having people to lean on during difficult times. Parents who listen, friends to talk to, hugs, and help in thinking through solutions are ways children feel support.

Specifically:

Notice them. Well-developed observation skills are essential. Observe for more quarrels with playmates, poor concentration, or bed-wetting.

Praise children. Encourage children and show you care. Be positive.

Acknowledge feelings. Let children know it is okay to feel angry, alone, scared, or lonely. Give children the names for their feelings and words to express how they are feeling.

Have children view the situation more positively. Some stressors make the child feel ashamed. Shaming truly affects self-esteem.

Structure activities for cooperation, not competition. This allows individuals to go at their own pace and increases the learning of social skills.

Involve parents, family members, and friends. They can read books together, encouraging openness and listening. They also can ensure good nutrition and proper rest.

Host regular, safe talks. Members of the family or classroom group who feel comfortable can share experiences, fears, and feelings. Adults can recognize the steps a child uses to cope and help others learn from these experiences. Hold regular family conferences or classroom meetings to plan activities or to suggest solutions.


THINKING IT THROUGH CLEARLY
Children must learn to think through a problem. Some specific strategies include self-talk, writing about the problem, and making a plan. Thinking positively and thinking up real solutions is important.

Adults can:

Show how they can cope in a healthy way. Keep calm, control anger, think through a plan, and share the plan with the family.

Be proactive. Plan plenty of playtime, inform children about changes, and plan activities where children can play out their feelings. Books, art, puppetry, play, and writing help children think through and name their feelings.

Develop thinking skills. Help children think through the consequences of actions. Pose situations (friendship, stealing, emergencies) and think through actions. Ask open-ended questions about what the solutions to problems could include, such as "What could we do about this?"

Help children tell reality from fantasy. A child's behavior, for example, did not cause his or her parents' separation.

As an adult, focus on the stressor. Model how thinking through options for dealing with difficult people, situations, or problems helps you find solutions.

Find individual talk time. Talk about stressful events and everyday events.

Use stories and books. Stories can help the child identify with the feelings of the character and tap their own feelings to ease them out for discussion and to discuss coping strategies.

Use art for expressing feelings. Paint, clay, sand, and water all allow for active expression.

Encourage children to act out coping skills. Playing with dolls, boxes, toy telephones, puppets, blocks, cars, and similar items provides another avenue to bring feelings out for discussion.

Give the child some degree of control. Children should be allowed to choose within the framework of what is expected. Allow them to make some manageable decisions, such as how to arrange their room, to voice their opinion in some family decisions, which activity to complete.


FORESEE STRESSFUL SITUATIONS AND AVOID THEM
If we can foresee an event, we can often block it as a stressor. Ignoring problems, changing the subject, not worrying about it, or changing an action can be coping strategies.

Identify what could cause stress and plan ways to avoid it or how to deal with it.
Encourage children to be proud of themselves in some way. Developing a special interest or skill can serve as a source of pride and self-esteem.
Use gentle humor or read a silly book to create laughter and to reframe negative thoughts into opportunities.
Offer personal space. Modify the environment. Quiet space and alone time should be allowed. (Adjust noise levels and check the traffic pattern.)
Teach relaxation and deep breathing techniques. Ask children to close their eyes and imagine a quiet and or happy place (the beach with waves, a birthday party, a warm cup of cocoa).
Teach conflict-resolution strategies. Teach children to think through alternatives ways to solve problems. Who else can help solve given problems? What additional information do they need?
As adults, we can make sure we don't add to children's stress by expecting them to act in adult ways. We can praise, be positive, seek positive solutions, help children name their feelings, teach fairness, help children learn to like themselves, be patient, teach honesty, and give lots of love and encouragement, particularly during difficult times.

Answer 2

I would say he behaves alot like my boys did at that age. Boys have alot of energy and without an outlet they will go nuts inside. Boys sometimes take longer to potty train and well the talking.....he should be at least saying a few words clearly like no yes mama daddy but 2 of mine just started talking at 3 and they both had perfect speech with in a year. No 3 year old likes discipline and will try and try and try you. They can hold longer then we can LOL. I would just mention these concerns to the doc and see what he says. You may ask to have him evaluated by a child psychologist. But honestly he sounds alot like my boys did at that age and I will tell you they are older now and very respectful and well behaved at school and others houses. They do well in school for the most part. My 13 year old I wish was 3 again somedays. It was much easier. Good luck to you and feel free to email me anytime. Been through most all of the boy things over the past 13 years and boys well just have so much testerone and energy to burn, Ps never use baby talk and maybe try to force some words like dont give him a drink until he says juice. Try this for a few minutes only though also have his hearing checked.

Answer 3

May I suggest taking her to the doc to make sure there are no disabiltites. If she already knows that there are no disabilities, make sure she has a set schedule every single day. Kids do better when they know what they are going to do and when. Making sure she eats at least three good meals everyday and snacks like fruit, cheese, veggies, and yes some cookies or candy.

Make sure the child has time spent with her. Good quality time, talk to the child like a person, not a kid. Allow her to make some choices on her own... like what to wear, doesn't even matter if it matches... just let her make some choices on her own. Love her, love her, love her!!!! Kiss her, kiss her, kiss her!!!!! tell her you are proud, tell her she's beautiful, smart, funny. Just nurture her.

As for day care, she will adapt, all kids do! Maybe hard on mom at first, and the child too, but it happens everyday. Encourage her to make new friends, but you don't get discouraged if she doesn't b/c typically a three year old doesn't form many relationships past family. For the most part, let her be her! Mom is there to guide, direct ,suppport, nurture and love her.

She will be fine...

Answer 4

She should play with him! No TV, No junk food, only healthy food! if he is drinking juice, only give it to him if he did something good(or their is a private tip: when he is sick one day and won't drink any water or milk he will drink the juice for sure, but mix it up with water, too much sugar is not good)!!
She should watch The nanny! Or buy the Book from her(joFrost) for your neighbor! She knows exactly what to do! i do it exactly the same way and it works, and very important are the time outs! and a nap! the childs need a routine, don't forget about it! so when he goes to bed one day at 12pm to take a nap and the next at 2pm and that next day at 12pm again or even 11pm, it doesn't work that way! she gotta pick a time to put him down so he will calm down! i always put my 3year old twins down for their nap around 1:30pm(except they slept longer in the mornings than they go down at 2pm,but no later) and they sleep for 2 hours at least!
oh and give the child a lot of fruit!

Answer 5

the key is structure at that age, and consistency. All her time schedule needs to be consistent every day - children need structure, i.e. lunch at 12:15, nap at 1:00, book at 3:45, etc. And when the parents tell her something - tell her once then follow through say what you mean and mean what you say. Any deviation from these 2 things (or none of these 2 things at all) and children are unruly, stressed, out of sorts. Children need and crave guidance.

Answer 6

She should speak to the child's teacher. Many children are just high strung, but a healthy diet and plenty of exercise and sleep with help. Also, if there was a tramatic event in the child's life that would lead to this stress they need to address the lingering effects of that even.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

Is the child stressed or bratty?

Kids don't get stressed unless they are abused. All kids get bratty from time to time. My bratty 18 months old went to nursery school and is now an exceptional 2 year old.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

Nursery will do her the world of good, it will help her confidence, she can make friends learn new things and she will come home shattered. Tell your neighbour to explain her worries to the nursery staff, they are trained for this kind of thing and will be able to help. Does she eat a decent diet? Too much sugar and additives could be making her behave strangely.

Answer 11

Stressed 3 year old? stressed about what? The thing that will calm him down is calm parents. Children act out what they live.