Most of the downfalls are unfixable. And it seems that I am just putting more pressure on him by telling him how he fails me.
2006-08-02 01:05:49 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
so don't tell him he is failing you.... tell him you have some problems and you know it can't be fixed and you don't really need or want him to fix it.. but you would like it if he could just listen to you...
when talking about your relationship try saying..
when _______ happens, I feel __________
when I hear ________, I feel _______________
by basing the conversation on your feelings you are not focussing on his actions but rather your feelings.
2006-08-02 13:08:48 · answer #1 · answered by wollemi_pine_writer 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trusts and communications are the basics of maintaining a relationship.
If you still care about this relationship and your man, please tell him. Give him the respect that he should have, let him know how you feel to be fair with him.
Tell him that by telling him is not to put more pressure on him, its just to make yourself feel better, eventhough something is unfixable, but you still did your part and respect him as your partner to share your unhappiness to him. I guess by telling him that, he won't feel pressurize. Maybe he will even sit down with you and see what can be done not to solve the unfixable problem but to at least make you feel better?
2006-08-02 08:16:12 · answer #2 · answered by barelyahrie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mr. Chivalry says, "Do you want the relationship to grow? If you keep things bottled up that could affect the relationship, then it will definitely hurt things. You say they're unfix-able. Are they really, or do you feel that they are unfix-able? Will you give him the chance to see where things are going? Keeping him in the dark is only worsening things. If you think it won't go anywhere, it's better to let him know rather than keep him ignorant of his failure to do right by you."
Mr. Chivalry has spoken.
2006-08-02 13:50:51 · answer #3 · answered by L Jeezy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not if you should say it, but how you say it.
If you are communicating in a way that places the blame solely on your man then it can place a lot of pressure and make him feel negatively about his role within the relationship. So I would try to communicate problems from a 'we' perspective rather than a 'you' perspective
eg. instead of "you never spend time with me" try
"we should go out together this Saturday it would be fun"
Notice how you can offer a solution to the problem without placing blame on your man or putting pressure on him.
The whole key is to make him feel like you are in it together and that you are not blaming only him for the problems within the relationship
2006-08-02 08:19:04 · answer #4 · answered by Munu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of focussing on the downfall, why dont you put your mind up to the goodness in the relationship. I believe the reason you are with him is because you saw something good in him. You can just try to work out the pitfalls together without too much mentioning or noticing.
2006-08-02 08:12:24 · answer #5 · answered by ngina 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't fix the bad things in a relationship, chances are it won't last. The least you can do is let him know so he can be prepared for it. Plus being open and honest isn't always easy in a relationship, but it is necessary if you are even going to try.
2006-08-02 08:11:30 · answer #6 · answered by Robb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be honest from day one. A soul mate is like a best friend, you can tell them anything, even that you fancy their best friend. A husband/wife should be a soul mate. You can make it work and if it fails, next time, tell the truth, be honest from the start.
2006-08-02 08:15:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you ask me i think you should be honest with him. If he loves you he wont see it as pressure, he'll see it as away to make things better in the relationship. If things are getting you down about the relationship you might not be with the right guy. Just be HONEST with him.
2006-08-02 08:13:34 · answer #8 · answered by EmmY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u have to tell him what the problems are,how do u know if there really unfixable?
2006-08-02 08:38:29 · answer #9 · answered by khadeeja 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i want you to think about how better off you really are??? why should you worry about hurting his feelings when it obvious he doesnt care about yours. do you need this in your life. the problems you are having are because you are not telling him how you feel and how can he fix it if you keeping quiet. have a back bone because you relationship is heading for disaster if you dont speak up. i'm not saying this to hurt you or insult you but i think that these are things that you need to think about, and things that you need to hear.
2006-08-02 08:23:54 · answer #10 · answered by rascal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋