My husband gets visitation of his daughter every other weekend. He also gets 4 non consecutive weeks per year of "vacation" with his daughter. But because the birth mother has denied him visitation nearly all summer, the judge ruled yesterday that he have two weeks vacation right now. Our problem, however, is that the mother is threatening to call our house repeatedly, stake out, and call police if he is not with her at all times. Due to denied visitation when he actually got vacation from his job and because he has to work, I am spending the days with her and he will be here towards the late afternoon and obviously weekends. In his court order, it says "during visitation father must personally care and supervise child at all times" and that is what the birth mother is using. He just fought for 9mos to get these two weeks ,but cannot get that from his job. What is the worst that could happen over the next two weeks if she finds out that her daughter is with me some of the time?
2006-08-02 01:05:21 · 10 answers · asked by actresscye 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I think I need to make myself very clear.
1. When my husband goes to pick up his daughter or speak to her on the phone, she is NEVER with her mother. There is always someone else caring for her - whether it is another family member, daycare, family friend, etc... My assumption is that the mother has the right to run out to the store, go to schoo, or go to work as needed during her times with his daughter.
2. He took off for two vacations this past year to have his daughter in which the mother denied him visitation. Understand that not only did he fight for the 2 weeks, the law guardian was the one who scolded the mother for not letting him see his daughter, and ordered that the child be with him for the 2 weeks, and more specifically, because we are having our second wedding next week and she was trying to keep his daughter from being a part of the wedding.
2006-08-02 03:32:49 · update #1
I think the wording is flawed and being misinterpretted:
In his court order, it says "during visitation father must personally care and supervise child at all times"
The father is personally supervising the child by leaving you in charge. You are his personal pick. It's not as if he leaves her alone unsupervised. You are acting by proxy of the father as the supervisor/caregiver.
If you have doubts, he should contact a lawyer to clear up the wording. Unless you yourself have been deemed unfit or if the birthmother has a restraint order in place to keep you away from her child, then I see no reason to worry about this.
Good luck.
2006-08-05 11:16:00 · answer #1 · answered by Dellajoy 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There's no reason, at least none stated so far, for either parent to be with the child at all times. That is absolutely ridiculous and he should have a lawyer file a motion to remove that wording. He still needs to work and can't jeopardize his job because his ex broke the law. If she is harassing him, phone, being near the house, following, etc then file for a protection order.
2006-08-02 10:43:12 · answer #2 · answered by Carp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if he fought that much to get 2 weeks with his daughter, he should be spending those 2 weeks with his daughter. What sense does it make to have her spend most of the time alone with someone else? If he is supposed to be spending the vacation with her, he should be the one taking care of her and being responsible for her. I'm sure he could've worked something out to get the 2 weeks after he talked it over with his boss to find out when it would be possible to take the time off work. You may not mind watching her for him, but I sure minded when my ex would be spending time with his other kid and get other people to do things for her instead of doing it himself.
2006-08-02 09:52:36 · answer #3 · answered by angelbaby 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
record all her phone calls and let her know before the conversation that she is being recorded . also record any unexpected visits by her or her stalking you and the child . she is a sick person . the court order is what she is to follow if not , she can be held in contempt of court . call your lawyer , the police , your preacher , anybody that is a good witness for you and can testify on your behalf . that she is HARASSING you . DOCUMENT EVERYTHING !!! Good luck and God bless you and your husband for adopting a child . I hope everything works out for the three of you .. Maybe a second chance ??? (wink wink nudge nudge ;)
2006-08-02 08:17:07 · answer #4 · answered by vpsinbad50 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, He may need to put his foot down with his boss. His child is more impotant than that job. The mother aught to be slapped for being so restrictive. He is still their in the evenings and on weekends so he is actually taking care of her. I can tell you she is obviously using this as an excuse to keep him completely out of her life.
2006-08-02 09:42:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't think any judge would order him to leave his job. He still has to pay for bills to feed his daughter. The judge is on your side. I agree with previous answer, RECORD and DOCUMENT everything. That is plain harrassment. Any way to ask the judge to look at his wording and explain what he meant by "at all times". He has to have a job.
2006-08-02 08:45:42 · answer #6 · answered by Sandi J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check your state laws because every state is different. But I think (at least in Ohio) you are married so it shouldn't be a problem that you care for her. The mom may just be ticked off that she didn't get her way. My husband and I are haveing a simaler issue w/his ex wife.
2006-08-02 09:14:32 · answer #7 · answered by Ethans Mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like the mother has a serious problem with you watching her child but the child needs both parents in his or her life maybe it is time for a new lawyer
2006-08-02 08:23:20 · answer #8 · answered by steve aka GOD 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOUR NOT THE MOTHER SO BUTT OUT!! AND I DO AGREE THAT THE FATHER NEEDS TO BE WITH THE CHILD AT ALL TIMES.
2006-08-02 10:25:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
See you soon on Springer
2006-08-02 08:11:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋