My gf (now ex) of 6 months broke up with me 7 days ago. I believe I went through all the stages - Sad, depressed, angry and now moving on. Her call shocked me because I didn't expect her to call me ever again but she did and now I am wondering what does this mean? Could she be checking on me or could she want more?
She broke up with me because she said she wanted to focus on her daughter and her education more but I think thats bogus because a lot of single moms do that same stuff and still have boyfriends. I was very good with her and her daughter and wanted to be their for them both. I love them both but she has issues with a lot of stuff. Her last message to me last Saturday was "You are too good for me" and I have no idea what that meant. I told her I just wanted to be their for them and I would have treated them better than anyone else.
2006-08-02 00:59:55 · 29 answers · asked by fguz77 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My friend last nite told me to stand my ground and not to bend because she will prolly entice me with the notation of "come visit me because I miss you. I will make it worth your while"
I miss her too but like my friend said, their is no respect. She hurt me and broke my heart and I am not a doormat. I still have those feelings of love for her though and I would like to see her again and talk about stuff. I don't know if she would be willing to.
We didn't get into any of that last nite. We ended the call semi-well. She had to go because her daughter was crying and i told her she could call me again if she wanted too.
2006-08-02 01:04:56 · update #1
I like the way you formulate your question. The answer is not that easy though.
First of all you really need to concentrate on the main issue and search for other alternatives accordingly.
Good luck...
2006-08-02 01:02:21 · answer #1 · answered by Roland 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
She may have been wanting to explore her feelings for somebody else (clue: you are too good for me which means I have done something bad or I am thinking about doing something I really should not do while in a steady relationship). Ok now that is out of the way!!! The only reason she would have called you is if she does have feelings for you and is having second thoughts. If you love her I think that you should give her another chance, just be aware of how she acts in the future. There are always signs that a woman is thinking of stepping out. She obviously changed her mind and misses you, which is a very good sign for you!!! Also forgive and forget! I know this is hard but that is the only way to go forward with your relationship. Remember though there are no guarantees!!! Nothing is really forever and you may have to just move on in the future. Good luck. :0)
2006-08-02 01:25:09 · answer #2 · answered by babeegirl1966 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all, if you made it to "moving on" in 7 days...I'm not sure what that means; however, I agree that it seems she's not being completely honest with you, and on top of that, not being very respectful if she's breaking up with you and then offering to make a visit "worth your while" I don't think the problem is her daughter or education, although those are both noble and understandable reasons to forego romantic involvement (which she should have done from the beginning if that were the intention). It seems that she doesn't need to juggle a child, an education, doubtlessly a job, and a relationship until she is ready to do so on adult terms--honestly and consistently.
2006-08-02 04:09:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For some reason 7 is a very sighnificant number in a breakup. There have been songs written about it. Toni Braxtion, Prince and much more. However, it took God 7 days to build the earth and universe. How much longer does it take to figure out maybe I made a mistake? She is going over everything in her head trying to see if life is really better or easier without you. She probably still needs time but calling her won't hurt. Not to much pressure about the relationship just call to see how she and her daughter are doing.
2006-08-02 01:10:50 · answer #4 · answered by cream1112001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, most of the answers above are pretty good!! Could be a lot of things and it's hard to say without actually knowing her what her motives are for calling you!!
I think the best thing do to is come right out and ask her!! You have every right to ask......she left you and broke your heart and you have every right to know what her intentions are before you put your heart on the line again!! It could be she's lonely, she misses you, she regrets her decision to leave you and wants to see if you respond to her, she might be seeing if there's still a chance for the two of you!! OR she might just be seeing if you're still hanging on the line for her and seeing if you've moved on!!
Sounds to me like she might have insecurity issues and maybe there have been things in her past that make her feel like she's not good enough for you (abuse maybe?) OR she could just be playing you by making statements like that so you won't get angry with her for ending it with you.....playing the sympathy card!! It all depends on her real reasons behind leaving you.......did she really feel the way she told you she did, or did she just not wanna be with you anymore..........or something else to consider.........did she just have her eye on someone else and wanna be free to pursue it.........and then, maybe that didn't work out for her so now she's coming back to YOU!!! Lots of things to consider!! I think you should consider all of these things!!
But the bottom line is.....I think you need to ASK HER, as someone said before me............and then make your own decisions about whether she's being honest with you and decide if you wanna put your heart out there again!! Good luck with this.........love is NOT easy and PEOPLE are not easy to figure out sometimes, not just women!!! Just do the best ya can!! I'll say a prayer for you!! And trust me, if this doesn't work out for you, God has someone better out there in store for you, sometimes, it just takes some time........so have patience......and just have fun and enjoy life until it happens for you!!! Good luck!!!
In response to the "additional info".......in the end, the only person who can make the decision of what to do is YOU!! Follow your HEART!!! And I hope that you have friends that will love and support you, no matter what you decide to do!!!!
2006-08-02 01:29:05 · answer #5 · answered by songbaby2001 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from experience of being a single mom and dating and school, I understand both sides. She is probably trying to cut you off now before you hurt her or her child. That's the key, the child. Also you said she had issues, maybe she needs some time to owrk them out. We women get scared when a man shows interest in our children and then they show interest in the man. I try not to let my daugther see anyone until we have been going out for a couple months. Too much change in the environment will throw off the kids. She probably needs to make sure you will be there for her and the lil one instead of just there for a booty call.Long term is what she wants to see!
2006-08-02 01:51:15 · answer #6 · answered by DispatchGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She could have been in a self-destructive mode when she broke up with you. Sometimes we convince ourselves that if we just go it alone, then we can't disappoint anyone but ourselves. She could also just really not have "those" feeling for you anymore. The phone call says that she is lonely and possibly questioning her decision, or that she feels very guilty for hurting you. If she wants you back, you probably need to give her one more chance, as we women do irrational things when we are emotional. However, if she doesn't indicate that she is looking to reconcile, then you need to gently tell her that you need your space so that you have some time to transition of boyfriend to friend, and then she needs to leave you alone so that you get over it.
2006-08-02 01:07:27 · answer #7 · answered by shalea_e 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's making a game out of your emotions...although 7 days is awfully quick to be "over" someone.She does have a valid point about focusing on her daughter. This is a relationship where if you were mature enough, you'd give her ample space to concentrate on her. Don't sink to her level by playing mind games over this, but if you care for her and really want things to work, enjoy your time together, but don't be her "doormat". You will only grow to resent her and possibly her daughter, and THAT is not a healthy relationship! If she wants more, encourage her to speak to you, not try to guess how she is feeling. Also don't invalidate her feelings by telling her that it is stupid to feel that way. She will shut down in confiding anything in you if she can't be honest about her feelings.Good Luck!
2006-08-02 01:23:21 · answer #8 · answered by onebusy_b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's checking in on you, she likes knowing she can still have you if she wants you. Just make sure its on your terms not hers. So don't always be so available to talk or hang out. Even saying, "I can't tonignt, but maybe I'll give you a call tomorrow" will go a long way in getting the upper hand. It may not win her back as your girlfriend, but I suggest you keep it casual with her and start dating other girls.
2006-08-02 02:42:00 · answer #9 · answered by jenn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she had another prospect in mind that fell thru and now she is wanted to use you to fall back on.I agree with your friend move on.It will be harder on you to become more attached to the child then ripped from her life whenever mom gets a whim.Just walk away and in the future be careful when children are invovled.Good luck God bless:O)
2006-08-02 01:08:46 · answer #10 · answered by melissa_froggies 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its only 7 days - youve got lots more stages to go through or she didnt mean that much to you.
why didnt you just ask her what she wanted?
sometimes even if you dont want to be with someone you still miss them and doing stuff with them. its a slice of your life gone and its hard to change irregardless of what you really want from the person.
Think its best you talk to her. That you too good for me line is a lame one.
2006-08-02 01:06:28 · answer #11 · answered by Susie Y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋