can anyonetell mehow to stop shouting at my kids, all i seemto do is nag, i want to be more relaxed, they are?

Question

HOW TO SHOP SHOUTING AT KIDS

Answer 1

Have a schedule, we started a chores list for our son, from 8:00-8:30am sometime in there he has to make his bed, he rarely does a good job, but he tried, I hate the look of it, but I just stop looking at it. I used to scream alot, until my husband told me to pick my battles, when the kids are just being kids ( screaming and yelling , running wild all over the house) remember to think of them as kids, and that's what they do... As parents we expect alot from our kids, and sometimes overlook the age of the children, we can't expect a 7 year old to be as well behaved as an 11 year old, or a 2 year old to listen as well as a 5 year old etc.. Kids will be kids, and when I'm about to loose my mind, I walk into the kitchen, pour a cup of coffee, and open a book, and tune them out.And only raise my voice, when I hear a blood curtling scream.. Having a mommy time out is a tiny piece of heaven, I do it often, try it. Tell the kids that you are on time out, and because you are say 30, you have 30mins on time out, and you are not to be bothered for that time... My children respect it ( and they are a hard bunch) They run wild for that time, but they don't bother me, if need be, buy yourself some ear plugs, you will still feel the floor shake beneathe your feet, and feel the vibration of the high pitched squeels, but you will have a chance to be , just you!
Hope it helps

Answer 2

I've dealt with this myself. I have three kids. Contrary to popular belief shouting louder will not make the children do what you want them to. Consequences for actions do. Consistancy does. Threats do not. Follow through and do what you say that you are going to do. If you don't your kids will not listen to one thing you have to say and will be out of control.
My family counselor suggested we make a rule list as a family and hang it up somewhere so we did, now the children know the rules and when they break one I ask them what the consequence is for their actions, and follow through. Needless to say there isn't a whole lot of conflict that way anymore. My children are 8, 5 and 3. With small children you have to remind them daily, hourly and sometimes from minute to minute about the rules since they do not have the longest attention span or memory. I would really think about what I'm yelling at them about, are they being kids, doing what kids do or are they really being defiant? Are they out of control or are you? I know that when I was yelling alot at my kids I was the one who was out of control and not happy. Maybe you need to take some time for you? I would suggest taking a few hours on a Saturday away from the kids, this doesn't make you a horrible mother, infact if more mothers would do this, we'd probably have better relationships with our kids. Leave them with your husband or hire a sitter if you have to, but either way get out and away for a little bit each week and you might just find out that you are a better mother for it. Hope you find your answer!

Answer 3

The trouble when you shout (and most of us do it) is that this tremendous noise rushes past their ears and it's just that - a noise! If you speak quietly theyhave to actually listen. This is what you want. Shouting is a way of demanding attention, but speaking quietly, with authority and follow up discipline if necessary, is much more effective.You might be shouting as a way of discpline - this is not effective at all. You just become a noisy wind. Work out a way of disciplining them - naughty step, docking pocket money, gold stars or whatever and stick to it.
Lighten up. - your children are suppposed to be fun. You want them to look back on their childhood with affection, don't you? Good discipline will enable you to do this.

Answer 4

You have to ask yourself a honest to true question. Do you feel your kids have stolen your freedom ? Stolen your time ? Do you feel that you have a million and one thing to do and you shold not be "bogged" down by managing the household and the kids ? Basically you must know you are not just taking care of your kids. You are an active partner in shaping your kids destiny. Pray. Ask God how you can intergrate "your" life which seems to be on hold, and the managing of your kids. Forgive me, if i am totally off the mark.

Answer 5

How old are your kids? . And why are you shouting? they dont follow what you want them to do ? If you always shout at them everytime they made mistake or dont follow you , well your shouting and nagging is like music to thier ears ... why not change your style first :control your emotion dont shout and nag the whole week and try to see result: 2nd if they dont follow you try to do things without talking to them,play that you are a deaf and they well realise why u act like that.If it is effective u have to talk to them in a heart to heart ,and always pray for the guidance above.....

Answer 6

try putting yourself in their shoes. remember what it was like when you were a child. Try to remind yourself that kids are not adults and cant be expected to act like them. As a mother I had to do this myself lots of times. It worked for the most part but sometimes I still lost it. If you are always yelling They will eventually get so used to it ,they won't even pay attention at all. It's hard but, do your best. Been there.

Answer 7

if they are constantly annoying you they are probably seeking attention... they don't differentiate between positive and negative attention... just attention.
based on this, i would suggest that you construct the attention you give them. give them opportunities for you to give them positive attention, and when they do something negative, respond accordingly. if it is serious and dangerous, be strict immeadiately and stick to it... explaining why you have to be strict. if it isn't but you still don't want them doing it, explain to them sturnly that you don't want them doing it... if they don't listen, be strict, explaining your actions. if it is just an annoyance, ignore them, they will give up when they realise they won't get attention.
it is really important they they learn the difference between positive and negative attention, so really take time out to create the opportunities for the positive variety.
you are the centre of their world, so by default, what they do is about you, which means you have total control over the situation with out needing to get upset and stressed. if something doesn't work, try something else. each child is different in the way they respond.
go to it! and good luck.

Answer 8

wait till they are teenagers you shout even more believe me i know i give up and if one more person say count to 10 i will scream try and have a moody 13 year old teen who says life is not fair and an adhd son and anyway you can always go inthe garden and have a good scream you stress levels get low it works believe me lol

Answer 9

If you're shouting at them to get them to do things, change your tactics and try to 'persuade' them by threatening to embarrass them in front of their friends. Nothing horrible, just things like fluffing their hair in public or calling them by a baby nickname. I once threatened to drive into the school playground with Status Quo blaring out of my car speakers. It worked.

Answer 10

Just very quietly say what you want them to do. Then when they don't do what you ask let them know that their will be repercussions (take away tv time, computer time, internet time, and add time outs - if they are young enough). All I have to say to my middle girl is go to the corner in a very stern voice and she walks to her corner (each girl has her own corner to sit in). They need to know that you mean business and that you will follow through.