I live at home with my mother and my sister, my boyfriend lives here too. We have been wanting to move out for some time, but when the plan comes up for us to leave my mom does every thing she can to hold us back. We moved out once a few months ago and it was great, but with all the calls and tears the guilt got to us and we came back. We are ready to settle down and get married and get our own place, but its not the money its my mother what should I do?
2006-08-01 23:39:06 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you should talk to your mother and tell her how you feel. Tell her you love her but you need to live your own life, and to do that you need her to let you go. Reassure her that you'll always be in her life. Your mother sounds like she doesnt want to lose you so all you have to do is make her understand that you have no intention of completley cutting her off from your life. Be tactful and dont get angry. I hope I helped. Good luck!
2006-08-01 23:47:39 · answer #1 · answered by T-Jay 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didn't mention your age, so I will assume that you are at least 18+ and out of high school...
The problem at this point is you, and I don't mean that in a negative way. What I mean to say is that there isn't a whole lot you can do to "fix" your mother in this situation. The way to resolve this is to be strong and resist the guilt trips she is throwing at you. Your mother may be dealing with some issues that are leading her towards holding on to you a bit too tightly.
I would suggest having a sit-down talk with your mother to explain to her that this is your life and you need to start living it on your own terms. Reassure her that because you are leaving the house that you are not "abandoning" her and that you will remain a part of her life.
If she continues to exhibit the same controlling/clinging behavior, suggest that she seek counseling. If all else fails and she resists counseling, take solace in knowing you have made an honest attempt and that your mother simply refuses to change. You will then be forced to choose between either "putting up" with your mother's behavior or seperating contact from her.
You do need to take action, however, because I'm willing to bet your patient boyfriend probably won't be willing to deal with a controlling mother-in-law forever....
2006-08-02 06:47:57 · answer #2 · answered by Physh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your mother cant let go. Are you the youngest? I think that you should have a one on one talk with her letting her know how you feel about this whole thing with wanting to move out an settle down. I'm sure she'll understand if you told her. I also think that your lucky that your mom wants you to stay with her... if it was my mom she'll be happy that we moved out ha ha
2006-08-02 06:46:07 · answer #3 · answered by leihuaz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and talk to her and let her know that you and your boyfriend really love each other and your planning on getting married and you want to move out and get your own place but you don't want to feel quilty about leaving. You just need to talk to her.
2006-08-02 06:44:31 · answer #4 · answered by lasondraperry-graham 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your mom politely and ask for clear suggestion really what she is asking for? Make desicion by discussing with you mom.
Make her to feel as you feel to sattle down.. She could start think different if she thinks it's ok for you.. :)
Mom is your more near person and you are from her Blood. You have a blood relation with her. So she might can ask for more attention from you. It's usual. But try to understand what really she is looking for. Go for compromising. Share her thoughts. Never hurt her. They are never selfish about their child.
Hope for the best :)
2006-08-02 07:37:20 · answer #5 · answered by Munaz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
live with your mom for a while save your money and then in a few years buy a house and then move are you to young to move out why does your mom want you to stay?
2006-08-02 06:45:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not aware of your age and i would advice you to self analyse. why is that your mom doesn't want you to get separated is it because she feels insecure due to financial or health problems or is it that she doesn't like your boyfriend and or is it because she thinks that you are still not matured for all these things. Try to analyse by being in your mother's place and and i feel that you would definitely get her consent.
2006-08-02 07:29:48 · answer #7 · answered by Watcher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just move and deal with it. Try to put quite a bit of distance between you and her. You have to do it like that with a mom like yours. She will eventually get used to it.
2006-08-02 06:44:35 · answer #8 · answered by nastaany1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And does your dear mother intend to move with you to the future nest of love? Are you serious or daft? It's your life,so go get it.
2006-08-02 06:43:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
as u havent mentioned ur age?plz clear all ur doughts with ur parents.convince them that u r ready to hold all the responsibilities,but think twice b4 doing something.
2006-08-02 06:45:54 · answer #10 · answered by cherry cola 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋