I met this guy a bit ago, passing through on the way to a job in another state. We hit it off quick and steamy, have had some fun for a while (generally more so when drunk) but as I get to know him better, I realize that he is not at all what I am looking for.
He's a nice guy and he treats me well (flowers, dinner, drinks, treats, etc.) and I have enjoyed the time we speant, but our core values and beliefs don't really match and his actions don't match his words.
I don't see it going much further but he wants me to commit to letting him fly me there to see him in a few months. I would enjoy the trip, I know that, but I feel as if it would be taking advantage.
I have told him I am no where near ready to commit and he says he's looking for love and may have found it.
How do I let him down easy and am I bad if I want to take the trip 1st???
2006-08-01 21:41:36 · 9 answers · asked by Dolphin lover 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You only know about me what I have said in this question, so please don't make assumtions or pass judgement on me. I am asking an honest question here.
2006-08-01 21:51:20 · update #1
If your obviously feeling differently than he is, the best way to let him down is just tell him the truth about how you feel. He's smothering you with attention and being nice, and if you are not comfortable and feel strange about "his actions not matching his words" then your subconcience is trying to tell you something. Listen to your gut and follow through.
2006-08-01 21:52:43 · answer #1 · answered by Slick Mac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy says he's looking for love, you say you're looking for commitment. I can see you're going in two different directions. Sounds simple to me. Also sounds like your mind knows you should not go to see him, but sounds like you're letting him think you want to by keeping in touch. You're in the lead so if you don't want him then cut the convos short and then end them by telling him your old boyfriend returned or you just got engaged, or if you really dislike him you might add that you're pregnant and you need a father to pay for your expected child. See if that works. If that doesn't scare him away then get a recorder and don't pick up on any calls. In fact you could just tell family that for a while "you" will be calling them instead of them calling you and tell them why (if the guy calls you often). Seems you may be the one who is encouraging this guy, so make the decision in your mind first that he has to go.
2006-08-01 21:53:00 · answer #2 · answered by sophieb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is 2 options for u. 1. you can take the trip and while u are there u can explain him about what do u think make him happy when u are there and came back 2. there is a proverb says that "love the person not u love, some one who loves you" that mean if u be with some one who loves u, you will be happy for ever.
2006-08-01 21:54:45 · answer #3 · answered by m.shahila m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you aren't bad, just tell him the truth that long term you guys wouldn't last although you do have a lot of fun with him. After that see if he still wants you to make the trip, if he does you say just for fun right? After that just quit talking to him.
2006-08-01 21:48:52 · answer #4 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pretty sad that the only way a guy can "treat you right" is with flowers, drinks, dinners and treats. That just goes to show how selfish and self-centered most women are and all they give a shlt is about material posessions. I hope he wises up and leaves your selfish, sorry-@ss for someone that actually deserves him.
You're just a gold-digging prostitute.
2006-08-01 21:47:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You're not bad, I'd be tempted too, but you know it's wrong so just don't do it. It would be taking advantage and how would you feel if someone were taking advantage of you?
2006-08-01 21:47:05 · answer #6 · answered by Kanga_tush2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
elevator
2006-08-01 21:48:11 · answer #7 · answered by not_prfikt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are selfish
2006-08-01 21:56:36 · answer #8 · answered by netnew 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell him....dont go away mad....just go away
2006-08-01 22:35:42 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋