There is a guy I have been crushing on for a very long time. He is absolutely wonderful and he treats me like a princess. I've asked him out a couple of times, but he tells me a relationship would "never work out", however I beg to differ. I think we would make a great couple! People are constantly asking us if we are going out, and his parents tell him things like "hang on to this one!" and it's really embarassing. I am trying to convince myself to give it up and move on but it's so hard. I've never been in love before but I rarely rarely like a guy, so when I find one that is really great, I try to hold on to him. I dont understand why he feels it would never ever work out. Please help ;.;
2006-08-01 19:36:02 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well what may be going on is that he doesnt have the same feelings for you. i think that you should just try and see him as a friend, because thats what he sees you as. it doesnt mean that there is anything wrong with you, i mean you seem like i really cool person, especially his parents making those comments, you must be good. another thing is that he may be afraid that if the relationship ends then he wont have you for a friend anymore. he may not want to risk losing you in his life completely right now. maybe down the line he will change his mind. look at the bright side, atleast he isnt stringing you along like he could be right now. i say stick around, stay friends, and show him what an awesome person you are, make him see why you would be great together. you know actions speak louder than words so show him! good luck!
2006-08-01 19:43:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you continue pressuring your friend to be something he does not want to be - your boyfriend - you will lose his friendship.
Accept the fact that he doesn't find you physically attractive. When he first met you he didn't find you attractive and now, no matter how much he likes you, that is very unlikely to change. Women often become more and more attracted to guys because they like them. Men, especially young men, rarely do. I suggest you accept and enjoy the fact that he is your friend - and stop wishing he was a potential boyfriend. He's not and he never will be.
Why would you even want a boyfriend who is attracted to other women (or to men) but not to you?
He could be gay. Gay men often make great friends! But this isn't necessarily the case. Nor is it likely that you are not attractive!!! Guys can be quite particular about what turns them on.
When I was growing up I remember my sister's dates, who were attracted to her hourglass figure, saying that I was too thin (= flat, boney, etc.), and my dates (which were as numerous as my sister's) saying that they prefered my smaller proportions. I remember guys in college who preferred a different color of hair - a different color of skin - a different temperment - longer legs - wider hips - a foreign accent - who knows what?!
If you're healthy, then there are guys who find you attractive. Enjoy their attention and if you want a boyfriend pick one of them to be your boyfriend!
Whatever you do stop making yourself and your friend miserable by trying to change things. Trying and hoping hasn't worked, and they aren't going to work. The only thing that's going to change if you keep at it is that he's going to get tired of it and end the friendship.
There are some women who like "a challenge." Is that you? Is that what this is about? Is that why you "rarely, rarely" like guys? Because they aren't enough of a "challenge"? If that is a pattern for you, then recognizing it's a pattern that is not making you (or others!) happy will be a step in the right direction.
Fantasys promise and promise and promise - but they never deliver!! The more you give them up the happier you can be with and in reality.
2006-08-01 20:33:15 · answer #2 · answered by TheWiseOne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy maybe is just being honest but not completely because he is giving you an excuse without explanation. Maybe is good for you because there is nothing yet between you two and this guy has shown you a part of him that maybe you are not seeing right now because you like him. If you don't talk to him directly and ask him why he thinks this way or you explain him the way you feel about this, you won't be able to get over him. Sometimes we need specific answers for our questions and clear any doubts to go on with our lives even though it seems difficult.... Someone is going to see what you are and then you will be happy... Just be true to yourself and go after your dreams.
2006-08-01 19:48:00 · answer #3 · answered by Tere 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a guy actually says to you that it will never work out. Believe him. Guys just wouldn't say that for spite. It takes a lot of courage and a lot of truth behind it, for them to be able to do it. There are plenty of reasons why it can't 1.) he likes another girl. 2.) he likes another guy 3.) he's not attracted to you. 4.) he's attracted to you but values your friendship too much to get into a thing that may not work out and/or 5.) he doesn't want to risk it...
Can't you be content with what you have right now? Who knows? Maybe in the future....
2006-08-01 19:49:00 · answer #4 · answered by Violetcharm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
adequate that, like sarcasm, I even have stopped using it with any however the closest friends. Even there i come across that it is not probably powerful. logic and journey that they'd relate to works plenty extra clever, until i'm finding for a combat.
2016-11-03 12:23:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe hes afarid that if u guys get together what you have now will be ruined.. or maybe hes waiting to make sure that things will work,. even tho saying they wont is a big relationship killer.. ask him why he treats you the way you do and makes you feel this way if he doesnt wanna be with you, or ask him if he will ever feel the way you do or if you should just move on!
2006-08-01 19:40:33 · answer #6 · answered by A m a n d a [[D o l l f a c e]] 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You think you're gonna be his princess forever?!?!?!?!? A day without him it's lost day. Don't wait him forever. Live in reality and not in dreamland. Find an other guy and you'll find out that he's gonna be MUCH better. Live your life NOW don't waste your precious days on him!!!! Try to be open mind and see other guys too. Someone is waiting for you out there and probably it's not him...
2006-08-01 19:46:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key to this guy is to give him space, he's just not ready for a relationship. If you pretend as though you're not interested anymore or give him just enough space, he'll come around and realize what he's wanting. He's feeling that you'll always be there.
2006-08-01 19:40:15 · answer #8 · answered by BbyGrl80 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should talk to him straight out about this. Like try to talk to him when no one else is around so he doesn't have anyone else telling him different, and ask him why exactaly he thinks that way... but if he keeps acting like he knows what's best for you two, i guess give up on him. I'm sorry if this doesn't help.
2006-08-01 19:43:10 · answer #9 · answered by Angela B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him if he's gay or if he is interested in someone else. If he comes up with any other answer like he isn't ready, scared to commit or whatever, find a way around them and reel him in slowly.
Should that not work, let go and look around if you really don't see anybody else who makes you think: HEY!
2006-08-01 19:46:55 · answer #10 · answered by groovusy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋