Ok, so I am 21, and I have just started a relationship recently and I have found out he's virgin. He's 22. Now, I know relationships aren't based on sex, but I have never been in this position. He doesn't kiss open mouthed.
He's a great guy, funny, great job, and just a wonderful person.
But are there boundries I should be careful of? Do you avoid the topic of sex? I am a very outgoing, sexual, upbeat person, I am very aware of my body, but not slutty. I myself have only slept with 2 people, but....
this has me baffeled. I don't want to scare him, I don't want to offend him, I don't want to rush him, I don't know what to do.
Advice, something, anything.
2006-08-01 19:33:01 · 11 answers · asked by evokenescience 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would definitely take things slowly at the outset. As time goes on, this man may become more open to things that he has apparently never tried before, such as kissing on the mouth. Since it sounds as if this is a new relationship, I would tell you that you both have plenty of time to work out the sexual kinks and that this will be much easier once you two have established a relationship not involving sex. Wait for a while and see if he takes the lead. If a good bit of time has elapsed and it starts to seem more than a little unnatural to you that the subject hasn't come up yet, then I would perhaps ask him his feelings on the matter. Where you go from there all depends on his answer. My advice would be that if you really care about this guy, which it sounds like you do, you'll watch for subtle hints and respect his boundaries. I know personally of a situation that sounds very much like yours. The woman was normally sexually experienced and the man was not at all. He too didn't want to kiss on the mouth. The couple married several months after meeting and now have a child. With practice, he apparently learned to kiss on the mouth and do some other things as well. Best of luck to you.
2006-08-01 19:45:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, so I'm 22 and a virgin male. By chose. I got over getting offended a long time ago. But first I want to give you his point of view.
Think about it if you where one. Every one was having sex around you and your not. You really want to fined a norther virgin too. Every time you here the word sex, you feel horrid. You feel sorry for the people that are having sex(because its a sin, and there your friends) and also for your self because you don't, can't, etc. So that's more or less whats going throw there mind.
I'm going to say that if you have sex they should know.(this is a big deal) If they don't except it there not for you. (Some times it is that big of a deal, and yes it can be a deal breaker) But no worries there are plenty of non virgin fish in the sea.
2006-08-02 02:57:15 · answer #2 · answered by Gumby G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had run into the same thing.. only i was 17 and my boyfriend was 19.. mnever had a girlfriend, never kissed a girl.. nothing... i was baffled also.Yous ituatiin sounds exactly like mine... the description of urself and you fears of what will happen. Before my boyfriend and i had sex, i would just bring up the topic and get his imput, and if he acts weird about the situation then just end it. Yje whole opened mouth kissing, well maybe its cause he knows hes a virgin and your not and he doesnt wanna make u think he thinks ur easy... just like dont start out and shove your tounge in his mouth.. but kinda start it out slow, and see what his reactions are
hope this helps!
2006-08-02 02:38:32 · answer #3 · answered by A m a n d a [[D o l l f a c e]] 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether or not he is a virgin or not shouldn't really matter.
The only things that should matter are how he makes you feel, how he treats you with respect and if he's Healthy (i.e. no STD's)
If this guy is a virgin, you may want to ask him if he's celibate or his feelings on sex. If I were you I wouldn't discuss sexual past because some people feel resentment if their partner has been around the block a few times.
If he asks you about your past, its your choice whether or not to tell the truth. Just keep in mind if you choose to claim you're a virgin, make sure none of your past boyfriends or boyfriend paraphanalia is around so he doesn't catch you in a lie.
2006-08-02 02:37:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the lead, make him feel comfortable with you and just ask him if he would like to have sex someday. He sure wants it but is sexually insecure bcoz of the lack of experience. Take him to the bed with you and lead the way, patiently and calmly. Repeat this for a few times till he is confident with his sexuality.
2006-08-02 02:44:05 · answer #5 · answered by ash_m_79 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm i think you should just slowly bring it up little by little each time you talk about him and get him comfortable with the idea. he is probably aware that you want to have sex at one point or another and is too shy to bring it up. in this case you are probably going to be the one making the first move. just take it slow and give him time, im sure he will open up.
2006-08-02 02:40:05 · answer #6 · answered by babycakes2444 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, maybe he reads alot... either way even men with experience suck so what have you got to lose. I wouldn't bring up past sexual relationships with him but, give him a chance. Maybe he's an ace in other departments.
2006-08-02 02:41:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
respect him and yourself. if he is comfortable with the fact that he is a virgin, something good, than respect that. if he is strict on his saving himself, than the topic of sex shouldn't offend him at all. feel good that you have someone who can respect you as a person. and don't try to be the first trust me you will despise yourself later if you inticed it and it wasn't mutual. you only have one time to lose your virginity.
2006-08-02 02:47:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm.. well like you said dont rush him... you kinda have to start at the bottom and work your way up.... start w/ simple kissing.. and im sure you know how to please a guy.. so just go slow and make sure hes ok w/ whatever your doing..
2006-08-02 02:38:20 · answer #9 · answered by bricox171 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should sit down with him... and maybe teach him how to kiss...
lol
but besides that... other than gentle prodding you shouldn't push him at all...
what you have to do is make him want to have sex with you... if that's what you want...
2006-08-02 02:37:55 · answer #10 · answered by The greatest and the best. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋